Suicide

Lost my 22 yr old son to suicide November 2019 devastated

Kieran, my heart aches for you, it’s the must horrible thing any parent could possibly have to face. There are no words to express my sorrow for you. You must be a very strong and brave person to deal with your loss.
There are others on here who have had this terrible thing happen to them but I also know that will not help a great deal. I can also assume you have had counselling, ether from the NHS or from Cruse because time as passed but you still are devastated by the events. It may be time to revisit a counsellor for extra help and please don’t think it is a sign of weakness, of giving in because it is not. Just to be able to talk about how you are feeling now and what as changed would help you. The pandemic has not helped but hopefully with things opening up you should get some help. Try your GP but the NHS allows you to self referral but please have a go, life goes in and somehow your life will also go on. Your son will always be a part of you and I should imagine he is sorry for causing you such pain and suffering. My blessings go out to you and never feel alone we are always here for you. S xxx

Dear Kieran, I am so sad and devastated for you. My daughter took her own life 3 years ago. Even now I can hardly believe that I am writing these words. The shock is completely overwhelming. Try and take each day as it comes and gradually you will have more good days. Our children are always in our hearts and that will never change. Take care xxx

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I am so sorry Kieran. I too lost my son to suicide in November 2019. He was only 14 years old. I will never believe that this has happened and will remain devastated for the rest of my life. My beautiful, funny, kind boy. We now live the worst imaginable nightmare.

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I lost my Ryan aged 27 to suicide 3 months ago, my world has been shattered- how do u get through your days .

Hi , I lost my only child to suicide 5 weeks ago . The pain is unbearable and it takes every ounce of self will to remain on this earth without her . I have been told I will never be the same but over time I will learn to live with the pain and carry one . At the moment that does not seem possible , but I am still here 5 weeks later . Sending you hugs and support & through this group we can help each other x

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Dear Sarah, I am so sorry you are going through such a terrible loss. I too lost my precious daughter when she took her own life. You are right that you will be changed by this. My GP said that to me and said that people will have to get used to the new me.
The first weeks are so hard and I too did not want to carry on without her. But gradually a calmness settled on me and here I am 3 years later.
I miss Gemma every day and wish with all my heart I could turn the clock back.
I hope you have people around you to help and support you and keep posting here as the support and love you receive will keep you going as it did me. Keep going with baby steps. Sending you a big hug xxx

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Thank you …… this means so much :broken_heart::heart:‍:adhesive_bandage:

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One day at a time, sometimes just a minute at a time. I would love to give you words of comfort but I have none I’m afraid.

I am so sorry Sarah and so sad to know of another family that are now living this nightmare. I have no words of comfort, 20 months on. All you can do is take each day, hour or minute at a time. Find people who are a support to you and dump those who aren’t. xx

Thank you …. I have so little support and spend much of the time on my own . Today is a very bad day and I cannot stop sobbing. The pain makes me physically want to howl

I know my daughter would not have left me had she not been in so much pain , she took her own life to stop the awful pain that she no longer cope with . I am absolutely lost without her ….

I am so sorry Sarah. I do scream some days when it all becomes too much. Letting your emotions out sometimes is an absolute must. My son leaving us was a total bolt from the blue. No signs or indications that anything was wrong. He was very young and as I understand it, it can be an impulse at that age. I don’t recognise myself or my life anymore and I don’t understand why my boy didn’t talk to me. The ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ could genuinely drive me insane. I miss my boy with every beat of my heart, I just miss him. You need support Sarah, I’ll PM you.

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Hi Ali / I totally understand the screaming - I want to go top of a hill and scream & sob how much I miss Ryan and how I can’t bear never seeing him again. We have now joined a group that has the most tragic circumstances- and our friends & family don’t know how to react - just know we are all feeling your pain :broken_heart::cry:

Hi I lost my son 8 weeks ago to suicide and tomorrow would be his 31st birthday how do other people cope

Hi Joanne , welcome to this group . I lost my daughter the same way 6 weeks ago , and she did this at home . My advice is take all offers of help given . The pain is excruciating, but in the few days I have been reaching out to this group : everyone has been so kind and to know that you are not alone , and everything you are feeling is normal - is really helping me . Sending you a gentle hug and lots of love :heart:

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Hi Joanne - I lost my son 4 months ago - just take a day at a time - life will never be the same again but for the sake of my family I’m trying to stay strong - I just feel I’m wearing a rucksack of rocks just now but I’m hoping it will be eventually be pebbles. Tears come like a Tsunami. We are looking to start up a foundation and raise awareness of men & suicide. Take care , you are not alone, we are all here for you - sharing our pain x

Thankyou for your kind words if you do start a group up I would be more than willing to help xx

I’m on the other side of the coin, my mum was murdered when I was 17 and I tried twice to end my life, I was given help and managed to move on. Recently my wife died and again I found myself not wanting to be around…
I come to rooms like this because I read your stories and the pain you all feel pours out of the words. It helps me to remind myself if I went people that care about me could be in rooms like these…
You’re all very brave people and certainly should not be going through the pain you’re… You all have my deepest sympathy in what must be the worst part of your lives… May you all find strength in each other.

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Dear Lostinlimbo, such lovely words … you have moved me to tears. I have also not wanted to be here after losing my precious daughter. I am still here because of my other 2 children and my grandchildren and they are worth living for.
I hope you have others in your life, you also are very brave and I am so glad you found this amazing site.
Big hugs to you xxx

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Dear Sarah, I am so sorry you are going through this. I also lost my precious daughter 3 years ago. She took her own life. In the early days and weeks I felt as though I was going mad, screaming and howling.
Gradually I have become calmer and I have survived. I loved being Gemma’s mum and nothin can take that away from me. Send me a private message any time and try to keep posting. Much love to you xxx

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