…as the sun shines and the temperature rises…my mood dips and my already non existent optimism disolves…and this is only early summer… it’s going to be a long, hard one for sure……best wishes to everyone feeling the same…normally we would be so looking forward to BBQs, music festivals, garden parties and holidays…now I’m looking towards next week after ANOTHER long weekend…
Totally agree unity man .I dont look forward to anything now .You dont just loose your soulmate you loose your future xxx
I too am dreading the summer months, summer reminds me of being carefree, sat out in a beer garden enjoying a drink, bbq’s, holidays, lovely weekends spent enjoying the sun. Seeing couple’s, families enjoying themselves, how can it be the same on your own? Long weekends now are torture, I feel sad for all of us going through this, it’s a horrible feeling. I have been invited out by friends but feel I don’t belong and then questioning if they are asking me because they feel sorry for me, that’s not the case but grief makes you question everything and I think grief is almost taboo in the summer to people who are all about having fun. When I talk about my Jim I am now noticing people changing the subject which then pushes him further and further away from when he was here
@UnityMan I agree with you about these sunny days. They don’t match my mood. Would rather have the winter. Sunshine just reminds you what you have lost which is our future plans and dreams. Life really is unfair and cruel xx
@Sarlyn Yes, I’m finding that too! No one wants to talk about my lovely husband? I have now just stopped talking to most people. I honestly think it’s way to close for comfort! Especially as I am the only one who has lost their love.
When people contact me, it’s to talk about their plans, holidays, weekends away? At times I would love to go find them and just punch them!!
Someday it will visit their door, so I just keep myself to myself… xx🌹
Me too Dotty there are so many people id love tto punch right now they are so insensitive .people asking what you have planned for the weekend ,lost my oh i dont drive im on my own what is there to do by yourself .Sometimes its best to stay away from people who dont understand xxx
@Hope5 totally agree, I find my tolerance level has dropped significantly! I just stay away from most people now. It’s a lonely existence, however it’s better than being constantly upset with insensitive people!
It’s horrible isn’t it? Why do people not talk about them anymore? I find it so harsh. It’s also quite insulting to blank them out of any conversation given how important they are to us and keeping their memory alive…I certainly wouldn’t do that to someone knowing they are in a lot of pain and heartbreak. God help them when it’s their turn. I am becoming very cynical of people now, everyone seems to be all about themselves. Life doesn’t seem to mean anything anymore, it’s almost like when you are gone you are gone never to be talked of again. I’m starting to keep myself away from people as I don’t need the added stress. A so called friend (who I thought was a close friend) text me today to ask if I was looking forward to going back to work …a text not even a phone call…needless to say I just ignored it…I’m better off on my own, I don’t need any more heartache, least of all from people I actually thought would be there for me
I know this sounds bad but I have even detected almost a smugness from some people that they are ok Jack and that my pain is irrelevant…how can people behave like this? Does it make them feel better? Or are they simply that uncaring?
All the time you hear the words support but at the end of the day where is it?
So understand this… life just not the same now
Yes that is true. But supposed to be a BBQ tomorrow lunch time with my son’s but family opposite always having them.
Spose weekend but like other days.
Was told there is one after church but never liked those as all families sit together and then stuck out. Rather sit outside a pub on table of my own and read the papers under shade.
I went to National Trust in week on own and was another woman got talking. To on her own too.
At least I can do my painting which is something
@Sarlyn i think until someone has walked in your shoes they won’t get it. I look at my mum since losing my Dad & the ppl who’ve been supportive are all the ppl who have been thru it themselves. I know what you mean about that “we’re ok” attitude tho. Bereavement scares people so they avoid it. X
@UnityMan and all of you…
Another long weekend to endure, what best to do? What do I really want to do most…
Lock myself in and be alone in our happy safe place at home or go out, ‘smile’ at people and pretend I’m okay.
I tend to go out but never far from home, and always to places where I can leave quickly and without question…which I always went to end up doing …so I can get back to our home and feel closer to my Phil.
I miss him so much…
Hugs and love to you all,
In truth mostly all the decisions I make are just about the best way to pass time …
Just awful @Sarlyn Im the same as you, don’t talk with anyone anymore. I’ve had a lot of really insensitive things said to me over the past few months. To be honest, I’ve cut ties with a lot of people! I tell you, jeepers you do find out who your real friends are!
I mentioned this before, but I remember receiving a text stating “ well done on being 6 months single!” needless to say, that person is blocked and I’ve never spoken with them since.
I feel the same. My husband was always the chef at his workplace BBQ’s and he liked to cook for me as well. We did not have a BBQ at home but he liked to cook and I loved his pork loins and his pumpkin soup. He was always looking after me. Now I am on my own and my neighbour came over asking if I am ok because he heard me crying loudly (the window was open). He said that I can come over to have tea with his family but actually, I do not want to be a burden to anyone. He has a young family with a baby. I contacted our priest yesterday (the same priest who gave the speech at my husband’s funeral) and asked for a local bereavement group. He still has to come back to me. I am missing out on short trips to Brighton or going to the Proms and dancing in the kitchen with him. The garden is a jungle now and the house is messy. I let him down but I just cannot handle it at the moment. And now another long nightmare weekend. I am so tired of it and I have no hope that it will get better or more bearable. Sending hugs and lots of love to everyone.
Yes UnityMan, with you all the way on the sun shining and what we would be looking forward to with our loved ones. Normally a weekend of pure sunshine would have been met with how do we fit everything we want to do in…Gardening, a day at the coast, meal out, a drink on the decking or maybe a drive out in the evening and a drink at the local pub to cool off.
Now it’s how on earth can I get through the weekend and how do I fill it.
Never thought I’d say that I prefer the winter months but sadly I now do. Thinking of us all this weekend .
@Annaessex sending a big hug……. It’s just the worst, I’ve said this many times before, unless you have lost your love and reason for living, no one will understand.
Don’t worry about the house and garden, these things can keep. I didn’t dust my house for 6 months! Couldn’t care less, so don’t beat yourself up about it. My gardens were always kept neat, tidy and weed free! I am now looking for a gardener to come out and “fix” everything! My Martin has been gone 9 months and 23 days… I miss him so, so much, but you will find the weight get a little lighter…
@Kingfisher Totally agree with you! I was just saying to my brother last night; how I wish it was Winter… it’s so sad how we all feel now…
Summer equals Sadness
Dear Dottie72, some people are just a*** . You know what I mean. To say something such cruel (well done on being 6 months single!). Just so terrible. Good that you blocked them. Good riddance to bad rubbish; they do not deserve to be your friends. Sending you lots of love and hugs.