Sunshine

Losing a partner
#1

Sun’s up again…and my mood is back down :point_down::pensive:

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#2

Same … xxx

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#3

Really? The sun should be making you “shine”. Get outdoors in the fresh air and sun… makes you feel better. Can’t imagine how we can feel better when it’s raining, cold, snow and dark nights and mornings approaching soon! xxx

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#4

Yes,me too,thinking of you and Deb5 and wishing you both strength.

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#5

I feel down today too despite the sunshine. Frightened to go out on my own. Last time I fell it took 3 men to get me up and time before the fire brigade. Used to rely in husbands strong arm. Woke with headache. Knee hurting. My cpap mask split the other day so probably didn’t sleep properly. New part arrived so hopefully better tonight.

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#6

Well i thought @UnityMan meant sun up as in the morning … no sun here !

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#7

…no…sunny here…beer gardens full and BBQs out…but that just underlines what I can’t do anymore :slightly_frowning_face:

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#8

Suns out here too.

#9

I do sympathise with you on everything you are going through,the usual day to day grief and tears is enough to cope with but when things go wrong that’s when it really hits home in the most horrendous way. I do hope things improve for you,this really is a crap life at the moment.

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#10

Totally relatable-i haven’t left the house or seen anyone for 3 days,i know its not doing me any good being in this house but just can’t face people&that look of pity when the see me (i’m sure we all know that pity look).I have absolutely zero motivation since i lost my love -6 weeks in &its getting harder every day :cry: :broken_heart:

#11

Only 6 weeks. Still I am hoping to get out if the house next week. A friend is coming to take me for a ride providing I can get in the car. If it’s nice we may go up to Ham Hill and have an ice cream. Or maybe to West Bay. Depends how much time she has.

#12

Sorry I meant to say things are still so raw for you. Just having a very weird day. I feel for you and your loss. It is really really hard in those first weeks. All I did was admin and cry.

#13

The part arrived in 2 days so not bad. Getting new mask from the sleep clinic on Wednesday. Just I know that things that didn’t throw us do when we are grieving

#14

Oh yeh … that look of pity … drives me crazy !! You just need love and support not pity !!! X

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#15

Well my advice for tomorrow is… if you wake up and the sun is shining (which I hope it will be tomorrow; weather forecast looks pretty decent for the next few days)…

  1. DO NOT wake and pull the covers over your head. Just don’t! However hard it is to resist, make yourself get up at a decent time. Your loved one will be screaming “it’s the weekend, enjoy!”. Just force yourself.
  2. Have a good breakfast (I know it’s hard to eat when feeling like this; but just do it, you can do it). Have a nice strong coffee or strong tea.
  3. Get outside. Even if just for 5 or 10 minutes. And if you can walk, get your shoes on and take a good walk. It really does help get the cr*p feelings out of your system.
  4. Buy a newspaper or magazine or go to the library. Get a decent read and just lose yourself. Reading for me really helps me distract.
  5. Plan what you could make for an evening meal. Just think of something, anything that you used to enjoy and just make the effort. Get yourself a savoury or sweet treat that you can really look forward to.
  6. Write a letter to your loved one. Then find a photo and read it out loud to them. Laugh, cry, scream.
  7. Don’t let your loved one down. They desperately want you to be happy. They are looking down, guiding you and desperately wanting you to continue the best possible life. They hate seeing us unhappy. We can but only try. Be kind to yourself. xxx
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#16

…and on Sunday I go to Anfield to watch Liverpool v Aston Villa…but on my own…that’s the rub…I now Walk Alone… used to be together…:pensive:

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#17

Its hard isnt it doing things by yourself when you’re so used to doing it together ! I actually feel so self conscious about it ! I hate it and i live in a nosey village ! Well its classed as a town but they behave like villagers ! Lol x

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#18

Sun can shine but my world will always be a bit darker

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#19

I really can relate to that feeling hopelessness
It’s so tough but we must b positive and day at a time to try look for three things each day we must b grateful for You r unique, special and u must try get out house go little walk and try give urself a little challenge to join just one group over next month
U r a beautiful soul :hugs:

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#20

Thank you so much for your kind words.I am trying to make sure i get out of the house everyday if only for a walk around the block.I have a bucket list of everything i want to do over the next year to honour my partner’s memory-from the sublime/ridiculous to things we had planned to do together-3 things checked off already.The main thing i’m struggling with apart from the loneliness is i feel like i haven’t got a purpose anymore-nobody needs me.I have to find my new place in this cruel world-not quite sure where that is just yet -i have asked my partner to guide me in some way.Be kind to yourself &take care,thank you for your positivity xx