Maybe they come from the victorian age. Just ignore them. I’m sure your husband would have loved the way you look.
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Really … that was nice of her!!! Lol … even some family done a disappearing act ! Im furious with both my sisters who came to funeral and then bog all help or support since then !!! One of my brothers has been a star thank goodness but out of 6 siblings he is the only one who can be bothered xxx
Ha ha … yeh we should be wearing black !! Xx
I haven’t got any siblings but we had a bit of a family rift to put it mildly. When i phoned his brother to tell him what had happened all he said was oh sorry to hear that and put the phone down on me. 5 months on and still no word from his sister. He didn’t even ask how why or when. Amazing. Hopefully will never see them again.
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Flipping heck ! Brutal !! Mind you 2 of his brothers fidnt even acknowledge his passing either … awful isnt it ? Xxx
Cruelty with a capital C. I really don’t understand people who act like that. Even if there had been a family rift, surely it was a time to move on and support you. So sorry.
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I had my hair cut the other day and passed out in the chair, my sister in law asked me what was wrong, I said ‘take your pick…stress, mither, not eating properly, not drinking enough water, not getting enough sleep, worry, during the last few months any of these things could be the problem’
I forget to eat and drink, when I do eat it’s usually a sandwich from the shop, when Joan was here she would cook delicious meals at regular times, since she died I have lost a stone and a half and have been the most unwell in my life, our friends and family, those that bother to visit us, don’t see any of this.
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Bill2
Yes I must pursue it. I visited all the time but other residents didn’t seem to have any visitors so I feel I’m everyone’s voice. To get anywhere at all I’ve got onto our MP.
Pudding
I know what you mean I wear makeup to try to cheer up and to help with not crying when I go up. Also I’ve had my nails down, but that made someone feel I was doing so well because I had makeup on and had had my nails down so obviously so much better!
Jay15
So sorry to hear about your son. We share these situations when our husbands are there and have him to discuss everything
With. We can get fed up with being strong all the time.
Thanks for that. My son is out of hospial now. Won’t be a ble to drive or work for 4 weeks. They were worried the tendon in hand was damaged but fortunately it’s not as he slso does portrait paintings. As you say there’s no-one here to discuss these dramas with. Maybe we’ll all get there in the end just hope so. Take care.
Well done you. I always put make up on. Always have done. Think our husbands would like us to look our best. Would have my nails done too but can’t stand anyone touching my hands. How weird is that. Take care
I can’t stand having my finger nails cut. I don’t bite my nails as such until they get too long. Also can’t stand anyone touching my neck. We all have something.
I must admit the eating is the same with me and lost a lot of weight. Must admit the weight loss doesn’t bother me as i used to be overweight. I cooked for my husband but i just don’t bother anymore. I eat because we all have to but could gladly go without. I think stress makes you ill and everything else what’s going on. I’ve given up on so called friends. Not their fault but they just don’t get it. Maybe things will improve. I certainly hope so. Taje care
@bootsie i am so sorry for your loss . It is such a difficult situation we are all in . My husband was the gardener . I am doing everything I think he would want . It’s so hard without him . We are all so broken
I am so very sorry for all of your losses. My husband has been gone 10 months on Sunday. I’ve also had the ‘you’re doing SO well’ remarks. I just nod and smile. I really can’t be bothered to explain it to them. They’ll never ‘get it’ until it happens to them. It’s 45 years today since I met my wonderful husband. Life is shit! Love and peace to you all xx.
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God forbid you should put make-up on or have your nails done! That means you’re completely ‘over it’ now………like a bad cold! I think people think we should be wearing widows weeds and drop to our knees howling every five minutes! Any other reaction means we’re ‘doing well’!
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Everything resonates with me. I lost my husband 13 months ago to Alzheimers and Covid which caused delirium which is a psychotic thing happening in the brain and he spent the last 16 weeks or so in a nursing home. It broke my heart and I don’t really feel any better. I try and i have very recently moved house nearer to my two sons and although the new house is very nice I miss everybody I knew in the area where I had lived with my husband for 46 years and it seems to have made my terrible grief worse. I try and put on a different face for the family but I think they know that I’m broken inside. How do I get through what seems now like a double grief? My sons are kind and very good to me overall but i just feel despair most of the time.
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Just take it a day at a time and cry if you need to cry and tell your sons youre struggling !!! And keep talking on here too xxx
Hi Bootsie and everyone who responded in such wonderful support! This Sue Ryder site is such a good space. I live in the US and I am so grateful that the Internet allows us all to connect in our grief.
Does anyone think it would help just a little bit if to be able to become aware of little clues that our spouses (or anyone who has passed) might be sending us now that they are on the other side? There is a topic right on this Sue Ryder site where people are discussing these things: like finding feathers, coins, seeing birds, and the like. My dear husband Bruno died four years ago and I think of him constantly. I am alone at home now, and luckily have a close family and friends. Most helpful is that I do feel his presence and sometimes find quarters in unlikely places and at significant times. (When I find a penny, I connect it to my dad who died almost thirty years ago; and I connect finding needed parking spaces to my mom who passed 23 years ago.) I feel that I want to write about these things because I think it would help in the grieving process.