I wish that I could find somewhere where I could feel Joans presence, I walk where we used to go during the pandemic every morning hoping to feel her there, I visit the place where her mothers, her sisters and her ashes are buried, I even visit the places where ,her sister told me, that they used to play when they were children, even in my house, where she died, I feel nothing.
I would give anything for a 2 minute conversation with her, she was taken from me so suddenly, she died in the bath and I was downstairs asleep.
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Do you not feel her in your heart ā¦ i can feel my husbands presence sometimes ā¦ i can feel his spirit ā¦ so sorry you didnt get to say goodbye ! Xx
I am so sorry for your loss. Your story mirrors exactly my situation apart from leaving the house. I stay in so that I donāt have to come back to an empty house. We donāt know the answers because we all deal with the grief differently.
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Youāve got to get out of the house, believe me, if you canāt do it alone get someone to go with you, you need to rejoin the human race or your grief will overwhelm you. Set small targets and do them one at a time.
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i,ve lost my wife 2 months i,m lost with her she was my sole mate and lover too i miss her like mad
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So sorry for your loss. Hope you are ok x
Mansell, 2 months is early days, you truly are in survival mode at this time. People really do not understand what is means to lose a partner, I lost my Joan 7 months ago and it feels like yesterday, youāve got to take one day at a time and let time pass until the pain becomes less raw, do not look to the future and just survive one day at a time, try to get out of the house as much as possible and try to connect with someone who has been through this shit, keep family and friends close and tell the truth when people ask you how you are, good luck mate.
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Djemmo
I understand. I have a walking problem and also went everywhere with my husband as he had Alzheimerās. If you could just go out for a very short walk just past a few houses and the next day just a little further. Make an effort to say hello to whoever you see. Good luck
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I used to tell people how i feel and.now just donāt bother. All i got was oh must go or sorry Iām running late. Now i just say fine thanks. Why they ask i donāt know.
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Mmm ā¦ they donāt really care do they ? Long as its not happened to them ! Sometimes i just feel so sick of people ! I actually donāt care how they feel either tbh ā¦ x
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Ii think we feel the same. One man who knew my husband through walking the dog said if anything at all i want just ask. He even gave me his phone number. At the end of the conversation he said if i want to sell my car could he have it for his mother !!! Then he said i donāt want to pressure you. Havenāt seen him since. What a joke.
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Itās amazing how many sent cards but never came back to my door . A lot saw my husbands death as a wake up call to their lifeās . I have some support from one school friend and my sister but many more donāt even message me . Itās like I donāt exist to them .
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Your all correct my neighbour across the road is moving soon his wife has taken a job about 80 miles away and stays away for 3 dayās at a time and said to me i donāt like being on my own im bored and depressed i said to him " are you being funny " he said what do you mean i said you can call your wife face time her daily "I CANāT " he walked away and hasnāt spoke to me since " tough not bothered "
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Same here. I had a so called friend who told me she was on her own every night as her husband was an alcoholic and went to bed at 7pm every night. Well yes i was expecting her to dump her problems on me and she came round in the early days. Iād had a day of sorting stuff out and was a mental and physical wreck said sorry i really donāt want company tonight. She turned nasty and told me i looked a wreck and looked awful with the weight Iād lost. She told me once thingās are sorted Iām going to feel a lot worse. This was 5 months ago. Havenāt seen her since. Thankfully because next time Iāll be ready for her. Take care. My weight is fine. I was overweight before.
Wow !! How shocking !! Cheeky sod ! I just been speaking to a woman i walk dog with ā¦ gonna keep my distance from her now ! I was telling her i couldnāt move my husbands clothes yet ā¦ she said but they might be useful to somebody else !!! I dont care ! They were my husband clothes and i will do what i want when im ready !!! She not lost her husband so what does she know !! X my bereavment counsellor said do what you want when youre ready ! In your timescale ā¦ not anybody elses !!
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Quite right. We must do things only when we are ready. There is no set timescale.xx
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Yeh and not anybody elses ! Im not telling anybody anything else cos its none of their business anyway ! Think its best to keep stum ! People just dont understand and im not justifying myself to them ! Why should i ? 
its my life , it was my husband ! Not theirs ! So many people think they have a right to their opinion ! No they dont actually !!! X
There is a message on my answerphone from a friend I havenāt heard from since the funeral nearly 5 months ago. The message says sheās been meaning to phone and how am I. I feel too angry with her to phone back. What on earth could I say?
Donāt phone her back then ā¦ if she is that bothered she will ring again wont she ā¦ if she doesnt then she isnt a proper friend ā¦ i dont like way people treat us when we are bereaved ā¦ its like we are a second class citizen ! I dont want pity ā¦ you just need a bit of care and attention ! Obviously thats too much to expect from some people !!! X
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Thatās lovely i still have all of my wifeās clothes and shoes and anything else of hers after 11months just canāt part with them as you say they were my wifeās clothes maybe i think if she comes back to me she may want a change of clothes silly fool arnt i
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