I’ll try to select my words carefully here in the hope that I can convey what I’m trying to say without upsetting anyone.
A bit like your situation @Northumbrian54, I realised fairly early on that I could reduce myself to a sobbing wreck within minutes if I let my inner voice run away with itself.
While there most certainly is a need to relieve pent up emotions, and cry when we need to, for me, it wasn’t helpful to me to have this happen too often as it rendered me incapable of functioning - and I need to function as I live alone.
It also made me feel wretched thinking things like " we’ll never do x or y again", “how will I manage all on my own?”, “why did you leave me?” “this is awful, I’ll never survive this misery” etc etc.
So, I made a conscious effort to not do that.
I control my mind rather than have my mind control me - or, at least, I try to.
I have felt that I’m managing better as a result, but it’s not easy.
I still struggle with other people’s kindness, but I’m trying.
So, I do speak to my lovely husband - usually asking him for help with fixing things and I say good morning to him every morning and goodnight at bed time and lots of random stuff in between, but I’m selective in my inner dialogue with him.
I think in this new way of living and being that we reluctantly find ourselves, we have to re-learn how to self soothe, for want of a better expression.
It’s not easy but we will get there - just via different routes and at different times.