Just a simple trip to the opticians ended in floods of tears Everywhere was couples of our age walking hand in hand That used to be us .Never noticed them before but hit me like a brick in the face .Back to the car in floods of tears as I no longer have that .No longer a couple and its killing me inside.
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My hairdresser came today. This is the second time since Norman died. She used to cut both our hair. The memory has made me cry again. Not that it takes much. The physio delivering a walker for me yesterday set me off. Before all I needed was my stick and his arm. Must try not to cry when I have my hearing tested this afternoon to see if they can retro fit his hearing aids for me if I need them. All these things remind me I will never see him again.
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There’s always a reminder of our loss. Even when making my bed this morning, I started crying because his pyjamas weren’t there. I don’t know why because I have made the bed dozens of times and not been affected like this morning.
Grief is just relentless.
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You’re right fried is relentless and unpredictable.
What might not bother us particularly one day might devastate us the next .
xx
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7 weeks in today since i lost my beautiful husband i thought it would be a good idea to come to the hairdressers it wasnt all i have done is cry 
people everywhere and i feel so god dam lonely
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It hurts so much I would always hold my husbands hand sometimes in bed watching tv.oh I do miss him so much xx
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Yes its horrible miss him so much its so lonely 
I understand Tracey, i am the same 10 months since my beloved hubby passed, you are not alone with these feelings, xxx
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Today another day of tears.
Went out for coffee with my aunt.
Was in an area we used to go out for coffee with my husband and suddenly brought back when looking around how many people in couples there were in shop and how now i was on my own although i wasn’t my aunt was there but in my mind i was on my own.
Just wanted to get home so i could have a cry.
Thought i was getting better but quess not today. x
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Aw … yeh i know … its just awful sometimes that feeling of being alone in the world now no matter who is around us … you’re always looking for their love arent you … i realise im doing it subconsciously ? Im searching for him somewhere in the crowd … THEM … that love and support that we didnt realise we had until it had gone … 
x
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Yes the same for me it will be 11 months next that i lost my darling wife 44 years married when i see couples holding hands young or old i want to go up to them and say please take care of each other but i think that i was some kind of nutter but that’s how I feel because i / we can’t do that anymore im finding it hard to get over this still can’t believe it has happened my darling died in my arms
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Yes i know whst you all mean.
Just watching rugby on my own we would gave done that together now its just me.
Last night of the proms he loved to watch but on my own once again.
People do not realise how hard it isdealing with this loss on your own but we must somehow get through it
It is my birthday soon we would have gobe to Tenerife but now i will be reluctant to celebrate without him
Life is tough now we all go through special days times anniversaries but alone now.
Take care Lynne x
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@Bill2
It’s the same for me, too, after eight months and my darling husband died in my arms.
I miss him more every day and the loneliness is difficult to bear. I am a shadow of the person I used to be.
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I think that’s what people and family don’t understand the trauma of the in your arms bit really can damage your mind please stay well and safe xx
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Ive been the same my other half passed a week ago still need to take our son out but its hard
Thank you Bill. You are correct but, of course, no one who has not experienced it, could possibly know the intensity of those very deep feelings it brings. That moment at 5.25 am on 10th January this year will be at the front of my mind forever. I was so glad I was with my darling and tell him how much he was loved.
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We too used to watch the rugby together. He wasn’t one fir the proms. I tried to watch Italy v Namibia but couldn’t. I will try the England matches. It loses any enjoyment without him shouting at the tele. Then new tv series start that he would have watched with me. It comes at you blow after blow. It’s like being a punching bag. Xx. Sandra
I know Sandra
I am watching the rugby but not really following my mind cant process tv yet too painful are memories of whatvwe watched together i try to avoid. The proms i will put on tv in bedroom where his ashes are so he can listen to it. I always said i would take him there one day. Only way i can take hi now is to take his ashes not sure this will be allowed.
Not tone much today having a bit of a ba time today not quite sure why guess we dont always know why it just hits us somedays
Take care have a nice Sat night
Lynne x
If you put his ashes in a bag and they search on the way in would lead to interesting discussion. I’ve had a bad day as well. My neighbour brought my some cakes over yesterday after his house warming. They upset my stomach so not been right all day. That and the rugby set me off. Enjoy your evening as best you can and hopefully England win. I will have to imagine him shouting at them.
Xx. Sandra
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I kissed my wife inmy arms again on the table in resuscitation and again in the chapel of rest at the undertaker just wish i could hold her again and hug and kiss her in life of course
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