I so wish I could have been with my husband when he died. Physical limitations on my part prevented it. I tried but if I had stayed with him I would have had to be in hospital as well. The thought of him dying alone haunts me even though the morphine meant he wouldn’t have known I was there.
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Aw … thats sad for you @Pudding that you couldnt be there … for your sake at least …but you know what its a horrible thing to see - at least you were spared that 
xxx
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Except my last memory of him is in a hospital bed with yellow skin and eyes. His eyes rolling in his head not knowing I was there. I called the nurses and they repositioned him. Changed his bedding and gave him more morphine that settled him.
Mmmm … hard that but still.its horrible however we do it you know … really is … !!! My husband passed at home as he wanted … so traumatic !!! Basically we dont wanr them to go do we … i just miss him , he was my world … its so hard for us all x
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Missing them is something we do always some days worse than others.
Life goes on and we must live on for our loved ones no matter how hard that is for us. Life is now different for each of us and we must somehow learn how to survive.
Days months years will be hard for each of us but somehow we will get through these days. Take care x
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Just read that Annabel Croft who lost her husband four months ago, has cried every day.
She’s hoping that dancing on Strictly will ease the pain.
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Aw … really and everybody been saying how strong she was ! Just shows you you see how it affects people …i never realised the affect it would have on me … it just drains you of so much happiness and pleasure does grief … hope you all have a decent sunday ? Dunno about any of you - but another weekend of not seeing anyone !!! its so crap isnt it ! If my husband was here he wouldve made our weekend fun - just by him being here ! Thats what we have to cope with now ! Our new horrible normal !!! Xxx
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It just goes to show, Deb, that someone like Annabel, who has so many people supporting her and things going on in her life, at the end of the day, is just like us, with crying.
Hope you have a reasonable Sunday. Mine aren’t so bad now as I alternate cooking lunch with my brother. It’s his turn today. In the early days on my own, I nearly went crazy.xx
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I know how you feel. My husband and I were married 61 years and he died suddenly in April this year of cancer I just can’t go out on my own. I put on a brave face but going into shops or places we went together just kills me. We spent the last 25 years together in retirement as we both retired early and we never left each others side and loved each others company. Now despite having wonderful friends and family I find going out on my own unbearable. I too look at other couples with envy. I went into Waitrose to try and have a cup of tea on my own and read one of the free newspapers- silly me hit the tea then when I realised there were no newspapers just left the tea on the side snd ran out. I sat on a bench outside with tears streaming down my face. A kind lady came and sat with me she said dhe had been widowed 18 years and said tge first two years were the worst. She spoke to me for about ten minutes. I got up and went back in Waitrose and had a hot chocolate. I didn’t stay long but I did it. I miss him so much the pain is unbearable- I know I was lucky to have him so long but to be honest it makes it worse - memories are useless and painful. I just don’t know how I’ll get thru this. I just want him back. I have no illusions that there is an afterlife with him because if there is one he would not want to see me in this pain. We were nearly 80 but still lovers still best friends still talking and planning our life ahead. He died worrying about how I would cope without him so I feel guilty he was worried about me - I did reassure him I would be ok many times but I gave the best support group all the time but inside I’m alone without him.
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Yeh weekends so hard ! I still not got anyone making too much of an effort … i have a really selfish family im afraid …However my relationship with my kids is better now ! Went to the wall when my husband passed ! I think it was cos i was so angry after i lost him … i was so angry with everyone !!! But my immediate family have always been crap at caring ! Horrible people they are … . One brother is better and done a lot more than others but hes quite into himself too … other ones … well …best way to put it is theyre a waste of time tbh
Aw … its so hard isnt it ? I dont think it matters how old we are tbh ? If you love them you love them ! And i found out after my husband passed … he was saying to people he worried about me !!! He was right to ! Ive not coped very well without his precious love … xxx
My husband died June. We had been married just shy of 50 years and retired together for 18 years. I don’t feel safe going out alone as I am not very mobile but still wouldn’t like going out alone even if I could. Dreading going for my covid/flu vaccinations. Fortunately wonderful taxi driver who is renowned for helping people and just got a rollator. At least these days can get so much at home. Had a hearing test at home which has adjusted my husbands hearing aids for my use. Trying to book a home eye test. My hairdresser and chiropodist both come to me. My neighbours are all wonderful and pick up odds and ends I need. A friend takes me out for a ride occasionally. I too know my husband worried about me as he was my carer. Had to get care for me in place very quickly but I know that didn’t stop him worrying. It us so hard being in our own. Love and hugs. Sandra
Yes I have my son and my grandchildren and my ex daughter-in-law who are always messaging me my son snd grandchildren ohone mist days snd makes dure I’m never alone if a Sunday. My sister goes shopping with me every week and our life long friends a couple in their 80s take me out three times a week snd cry with me so I sm blessed. The pain gets triggered by silly things - I feel so sad he didn’t know about our first great grandchild due next March - I feel so sorry he won’t get the joy of life we had together. My heart breaks for him snd I’m angry with mysrlf that I couldn’t make things right for him. I couldn’t make him well I couldn’t ease his mental pain. I tried so hard but nothing worked. The man who loved and respected me so much and I couldn’t help him at the end I feel so guilty
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I am on my own again just like evert weekend now. Dont drive si publi
transport for me.
Fed up being home do going out yo garden centre about 15 mins on bus for a look around and coffee.
Pity no one was close to me or we could have met up for a chat.
Anyway hope everyone has a nice Sunday although without our patnera with us will be hard especially since most people are out with their other halfs or families.
Take care Lynne x
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Yes i think thats what is hardest to deal with tbh … not being able to help them !!! Not being able to fix it ! I tried so hard too !!! I think worse thing with me was that drs told him in september last year … nothing too serious … not to worry !!! That’s whats the hardest to bear !!! And it was serious after all !! It took him ;( xx
Sitting here on my own crying will be 11months on Wednesday 13th lost my wife finding things very difficult without her how on earth do we get through this help please
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Aw @Bill2 so sorry youre sad … try and do something … even if its just a bit of washing up or watch a bit of t.v . ? Its hard for us all you know ( 9 months for me !) Xx
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Thank you for your reply just put smooth radio on xx
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@Bill2, I am sorry, have you anyone you could call to have a little chat. Good idea to listen to the radio.
It’s eight months today that I lost my dear husband and I know only too well how you are feeling. I keep a jigsaw puzzle to hand to help me when I feel really down.
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I’ve just called my sister she’s on her way over she is all i have left now
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