@Carolyn556 it’s so hard after losing the love of your life & particularly when they are your whole life. You were probably involved heavily in your husband’s care with him having dementia too. When my husband passed away, I still had my Mum & she helped me find a way through with my grief but mostly she needed me & she was my reason to carry on every day. She also had dementia & passed away just before Christmas. I have this overwhelming feeling of uselessness now 
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@Jodel712
That is the crux feeling useless.
My mum had dementia through a stroke n had to go into a home which I visited every day through the twelve months, spending hours with her talking, crying n arguing…she was a determined woman…!!!
She passed in Dec 2019 n within days my partner went into hospital with sepsis n then had to go into a home as he couldn’t/wouldn’t walk. I visited him then for the next three years every day so that added up to four years in total of visiting homes n looking after grandchildren…
After Pete died I by chance met John an absolute ray of sunshine n I reckon he was sent to me but only for 2 n a half years n four weeks this Thursday he passed. I am gutted beyond words as he was my soulmate, someone I never thought I was looking for…
Now I feel useless as you do….thinking what am I going to do but I know I can’t just sit around it’s not my nature. Today I’ve looked into volunteering so maybe a couple of afternoons a week will help me…might help you too…Maybe something to ponder on.
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Yes I already do some community volunteering, joined the local In Bloom group so do a few hours a week gardening that’ll start again soon, it’s social as well, met some lovely people. I think for me it’s more being wanted & needed by someone you love & who loves you. It’s hard to describe, not just about keeping busy, I can do that.
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@Carolyn556
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s still so very recent for you. It’s a very hard and emotional time for us all. We all deal with things out own way so day by day. If you want to scream and shout do it. And keep on coming on here. We’ll all try to help you best we can. Xx
@Mitzi1
I understand the feeling of being useless of not doing anything. When for time you have rushed around and then stop doing it suddenly it’s a shock to the system. I’m looking at doing a bit of volunteering. Something to feel useful again and also to get structure back into my life. Xx
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@Carolyn556
Are you having any bereavement counselling. If not maybe that’s something you might think of and reach out for.
I probably sound really strong but I’m not, inside I’m a mess but there are others on here much worse.
I have a good family all close by but they have their own lives to lead and I have a good network of friends mostly single by choice so they don’t understand bereavement of a partner and how could they be expected to really.
Like you others on here have no one and can only let go on here…