The angels called on my girl.

Coping with bereavement
1

I lost so much in the last year, my mum, my dad, and now my childrens mum.

The childrens mum was one in a million, she was strong, very smart :nerd_face: and a good mum.

Loosing so mutch has devastated my life, from being happy, fun, full of life and enjoying every day.

My life has changed and now walking the lonely road. Long hard days and lonely nights :disappointed:.

I understand we all have great loss and all struggling on here.

I wish you and your family all the very best and hopefully you will recover from the loss.

I am so losing my mind and my why. Just sitting here thinking :thinking: how to get past the next minute and next hours.

Lots of love :heart::kissing_heart: to all of you struggling.

4 Likes
2

Im so sorry lonlydel,

My partner/sons mother died only a month ago from staph/puff pneumonia. Ive so much guilt, even though i took her to the hospital. So much joy has been robbed from our lives, so much expectation thwarted. Im depressed as soon as i wake up. Im losing my mind too, her funeral is in 2 days time and i cant cope. Our son is only 8. Im sending love your way, i hope you can recover too, because i cant see a way through at the moment… i really cantt

4 Likes
3

Yes I am only just surviving, as you every day is a struggle and every night is lonely.

Hopefully sending you love and receiving love will help.

4 Likes
4

Hey Del, and welcome to this forum. Hopefully you will find comfort just being able to chat to others about your (and their) experiences.

Since my wife died in March, I’ve found myself drawn to talk to others who “get it”. The people you see everyday quite often have not been in the place you are right now and the conversations can be quite awkward… either scared of saying the wrong thing or trying to fix the situation. Which of course it can’t be.

@lonlydel and @GrievingDad I am so sorry about the loss that brought you here. It’s raw and painful and I know that for me this will take a long time to even find that new path. I’m grateful that I’ve got our 2 kids (well early 20 somethings) to navigate this with.

All I can say is come here and let it out when you need to. And see that there are others going through similar and we’re all a mess. But it helps to talk about it.

Strength, guys.

8 Likes
5

Yes definitely good to share :+1: gets it out for a short time.

2 Likes
6

I was so sad reading your post. I find it really does help to connect with others on this site that have an insight in to some of the thoughts, feelings etc that you are experiencing as they have trodden a similar path. And it’s comforting for me to know that although it’s been a long hard road for them they are somehow, miraculously able to now put one foot in front of the other and are beginning to be able to negotiate the way forward. That, I wish for us all who visit here.
Sending you love :heart:

5 Likes
7

Yes there is people on here sharing there problems and in there path to recover are helping me to chat.

Thanks for dropping in and sharing.

Lots of love

1 Like
8

Simply the fact that others are unfortunately going through the same horrendous pain of losing their soulmates , helps in some tiny bit making me realise it’s not just me feeling this empty inside . Also stories of how people do eventually start enjoying things again gives me hope that at some point in the future I will , even though it certainly doesn’t feel like it right now .

2 Likes
9

Yes all we have is hope :pray: and time to recover. I can’t see the end I just can’t see how I will even be happy again…

But I need to just keep going so I am here for my children.

Lots of love :two_hearts:

1 Like
10

It’s only been 7 weeks since my wife passed , I’ve been getting worse the last few days , so for the sake of the kids I went to the doctors today , to be fair they did fit me in for an appointment straight away when I told them my situation, the GP did sound a bit like he was going from a script though . Upshot is he gave me anti depressants that also make you sleepy so should help me sleep a bit at least , plus give me a number for Greater Manchester bereavement services to apply for some therapy .
Will call them tomorrow and go through the motions , they can’t bring her back but will hopefully give me ways to stop feeling like I just want to be with my wife no matter the devastation that would cause to those that need me .

1 Like
11

@Dino13 seems we both lost our wives around the same time. I’m glad you’re seeing your GP and hopefully you get something from bereavement support. I can’t stop reading books about grief and these have helped me stay sane (or as sane as I can at least). Hang in there man. Your kids need you. My kids are what’s keeping me going. They are what I have left of her.

2 Likes
12

Yes when there is children involved it’s harder to keep strong as you need to put a brave face on with the children.

finding it difficult to keep strong.

I didn’t think of the fact my children are from my partner so yes there what’s left from hir.

If you get antidepressants from GP it will take several weeks for them to work. And you will need to go back to GP to have them increased.

I use the sleeping pills to sleep or turn off my head at night. I still only get a small bit of sleep.

Lots of love :heart:

1 Like
13

I know and she would kill me herself if I left the kids on their own .
Have just started reading overcoming grief , that and coming on here and realising how many people are in this horrible situation is probably the only thing keeping me partly sane right now

14

Just a week ahead of you on this horrendous journey.

Today I was in the garden in floods of tears begging to have him back.

So I can totally identify with how you are feeling.

I thought I would have more years with him. I wanted more years with him. I still do!!

It is still so raw for us. So real yet unreal.

I am just taking it slowly. It’s usually get through the morning, then get through the afternoon and the same with the evening and the night.

Honestly? I hate it.

I am however going to do my hardest to make the best of it.
Fingers crossed I will succeed.

Sharing on here with people who understand has helped.

I wish I had that magic answer for you, me and everyone on here.

Take care xx

2 Likes
15

I know , keeping it together in front of the kids is so hard , often I break down crying when I’m on my own in the car.
I suffered with depression a few years ago and was on antidepressants for a couple of years , managed to get off them fully about a year ago , will see how these help my sleep as will ask to change to more dedicated sleeping pills if they aren’t knocking me out

2 Likes
16

I feel like she has taken massive parts of me with her , I used to enjoy my own company , loved going for a bit of me time in a coffee shop . Tried it today and just felt lost and empty , kept thinking she won’t be there when I do go home like she used to be .

1 Like
17

Unfortunately GP tend not to give sleeping pills, I got on them from mental health team. However there is sleep calming pills from pharmacy.

Good luck getting sleeping pills if you think it could help.

Getting sleep is very important.

I wish there was a pill that could take away the pain the loss the upset.
I wish there was a why of turning this painful time off.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better or I survive a other night.

2 Likes
18

Hi
This is for everyone who has posted on this thread and indeed on this whole site. My heart goes out to you all. Wherever we live, no matter how different our lifestyles, family, health and work etc we all have one thing in common. The loss of people who were very, very dear to us and words alone cannot even begin to convey the depth of the pain we are experiencing now they are gone a lot of the time. What we do have in common though is that we are all stumbling through the dense darkness that grief engulfs us with. Some more so than others, but it affects every one of us in different ways on different days as we go through this journey of grieving. To say it’s a hard job is a bloody understatement!! The intensity of the grief can be truly overwhelming at times and it’s scary. Also the energy we use up even just trying to process little bits of it is intensely tiring …yet sleep eludes us. Food seems tasteless we have no appetite for it but not just for food but for life itself some days. For those of you with dependent children this daily struggle to “keep it all together” for their sakes is a terrible strain on your already depleted reserves. We need to battle on even when we are tired and weary. We need to take care of ourselves so that we can be available to help them even we are silently crying out for help ourselves. It helps me immensely to come on here as I feel surrounded by virtual friends who have my back. People who don’t judge me but rather accept me unconditionally. Thank you all for that. It really makes such a difference to me and is helping me on my journey
Take care and try to stay strong.

The living wish the dead peace
And
The dead wish the living peace too.
Xxx❤️

5 Likes
19

Yes we all do share loss and experiences in how we deal with this.
Over the past week I have struggled with the loss of my children’s mum.
She was only 38 years old, she was a blessing as she gave me my children.
I can’t see how I get over this as I struggle with daily life.

Not looking forward to this long weekend as I feel so lonely.

I feel lonely in a room full of people.

Thanks for all your help and support and kindness.

Thanks for sending all your messages.

Lots of love :heart:

4 Likes
20

Thinking of you at this horrible time. Try, if you can to focus on the love you shared with your wife. Keep it close and hopefully that love will give you the strength you need for the tasks ahead❤️

2 Likes