Of course, this past 6 weeks, I see everything that goes on in the world, from international events, to local personal activities, as those that happened before J died, and now since he died.
I find this really blows my mind. For example, he didn’t know it snowed already this week, or the results of the US election, and that we are having an oil delivery this week (oil central heating).
He also won’t know when our remaining cat (we put her sister to sleep just a month before J died) goes to Cat heaven. They are/were 17 half years old, and J loved them to bits (the one that died was his favourite), as do I.
The really, really, really, sad part, was seeing all his professional colleagues and friends at his funeral; he would have been so pleasantly surprised that all these people thought so much of him and held him in such high regard. Tragic, and brutally cruel.
Does anyone else see the world through the eyes of ‘Before’ and ‘After’?
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I really feel what you are saying. Everything is framed in before or after. My son told me today his wife is pregnant , I cried! Feel terrible that I could only think about how he will never get to see the baby.
Not been able to say that to anyone, I know here people understand. Hope you find some support here🫂
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Yes I understand, a couple of shops in our town that he was used too closed down & re-opened as other stores, he doesn’t know, I’ve changed my hair colour he doesn’t know…
He died at just 60, I’ll find it hard to go past 60 myself as his life stopped then.
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I think about all the things that have changed since 1st February. He would be surprised that I decorated two rooms in my house, I have a new car, new friends, my garden is finished now, I have a new business venture, a serious medical issue.
He would be really angry with a couple of his friends for the way they talked to me.
He never missed a trick, and would have so many questions.
BC and AD.
@OnlyMe2 I think your first cat went to Heaven to wait for him there.
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I write to my husband in a journal every day to let him know all that is happening There is so much I have to say, and lots of things I need help with to ask him. I always tell him how much I love and miss him. Just wish he could reply.
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I feel the same, before and after. I loved my life before and im not loving it now after 12 weeks of grief and anguish.
I feel so bad about not having the discussions we had about the state of the world, the children and the grandchildren who adored him and vice versa.
I lost a lovely caring supportive man. Im just grateful my children and grandchildren are here with me for the after
Heartsand
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