@Arti A couple of months ago, I had my husband and our two cats (17 half yrs old). We were both animal lovers.
Five weeks before my husband took his own life, we had one of the cats put to sleep. Now I am left with just one cat, and given her age, I am dreading when the day comes, which will be in the not too distant future.
How life changes in the blink of an eye.
Could you get another cat, obviously much younger so when the time comes you are not alone
@Lost12 Yes I could do, but I want to be able to go somewhere at the drop of a hat, and having a pet will prevent me from doing that. I would like to go away now, but am restricted. It will be incredibly difficult once little catty goes to heaven, as Iāll be rattling around completely alone then.
I could perhaps get away for a couple of nights at the most, hopefully.
I understand, people often say to me to get a pet. But I need to be able to go away whenever I want too. At the moment I am on a train having a few days away. To see if I feel better being away from the familiar.
@Lost12 Yes, I completely get that, same here.
I hope the few days away restores your spirits, let us know how you get on.
Will do, bit of a experiment really x
You are very brave to go away, I couldnāt do that even if I didnāt have two little dogs (Bichons) aged 10 and 2.
They are my little guardian angels in fluffy white coats. I honestly do not know what I would have done without them. They save me every day without even knowing it. I adore them.
Treacle the oldest went through so much with my husband, through all his illnesses - over 8 years. They truly were best buddies. He was even allowed to visit him when my husband was very poorly in hospital. Lying on his bed in HDU.
And Treacle still stares at the door - 2 years on - looking and hoping .
The youngest Bobby, only had 12 days at home with my husband.
It breaks my heart that they never got to know each other properly. (My husband named him though- Bobby after Bobby Stokes because he was a big Southampton fan.) for those of you not football fans - Bobby Stokes scored the winning goal when Southampton won the FA cup in 1976!
Love hugs and strength to you all reading my post
My husband also loved politics. He was very upset about the Ukranian war and will never know how it ends and he viewed the situation in Israel from the other perspective as we had family there fighting for their survival. And again sadly he will never know the outcome.
Nor if his beloved Leeds Utd will go back to the Premier League.
Or how his grandchildren so miss playing with him.
Life is so cruel but I definitely view it before and after.
Take care everyone. Heartsand x
My husband was also into his politics. He loved nature too. He was so saddened with the state of the world, and worried what it will be like for the grandchildren. He used to say that he wouldnāt be sad if he had to leave it. However as we waited for the ambulance to arrive he said he wasnāt ready to die yet. I wasnāt ready for him to die either. At least he doesnāt have to despair when he hears the news. Iāve also stopped caring about anything without him here. Its all going to hell in a hand cart, and I donāt want to be around to see it either.
This really resonates with me. Had our puppies first snow experience the other day and it nearly floored me. Iām currently in that limbo between my husbandās death and his funeral. Thank you for sharing your thoughts xxx
That is just so sad, life can be so cruel xxx
1976 was the year we got married xxx
So sorry for your loss, but I hope you can get some comfort visiting this forum, just take one day at a time and hopefully you have family around you for support, sending a hug your way xxx
Hi
I am in exactly the same boat, our youngest son, one of our twins and as my husband called them his dream team, is expecting his first child in February. Itās bitter sweet as of course Iām overjoyed however Iām so sad this grandchild will be the first not to have met Vince.
Itās also tough on my sonās twin sister as she has been trying for a baby for a long time & it seems IVF is her only hope. Of course she is excited for her twins baby to be born and she would never allow herself to be jealous as they are so close. I just see a tiny bit of pain in her eyes on top of the pain we all carry in our hearts from losing Vince.
Iām so glad Iām not alone in this x
I was in a similar situation so I can understand your mixed feelings, my son and his partner found out they were pregnant ( they had been trying for a year) on the day of my husbandās funeral which mustāve been so hard for them, the thing is my sonās partner often came and helped me with my husband when he was bedridden, and unknown to me when I was out of the room she asked him to send a baby from heaven, it was emotional when they told me the story but lovely to believe this could happen,the thing is his was head stuck for quite some time during birth and when they finally got him out his body was limp and he was not breathing so they took him away to work on him and I am convinced that during the time he stopped breathing he met relatives already passed because when he first showed interest in fotos I used to hold him in front of our fridge where there were fotos of my other grandchildren ( including his older brother) and a foto of my husband, my mum & dad and my husbandās mum & dad and those were photos he was always interested to look at and he would smile.
Call me mad, or its just all coincidence but I choose to believe its true because it brings me comfort too.
You enjoy your new grandchild when he or she comes and Iām sure your husband will be looking down and smiling too xxxx
Iām 13 weeks in- I lost my husband and love of my life when he came off his motorbike on holiday in Ireland. Weāre both 62 and had so many plans (weād both taken early retirement and he was only 6 months in). Everything now revolves around what should have happened and what now canāt. Every day I come back from somewhere wanting to tell him about so and so up the road or youāll never guess what happened in Asda. Stupid inconsequential stuff but sharing it nonetheless. Life now feels so empty, so grey and so not what I want it to be. I canāt accept heās not coming home any minute because to really believe that is too horrific to bear.
@DebraTu Oh my . Debra, so sorry about this, but you have come to the right place. It is, and will be incredibly difficult and almost impossible to deal with.
All the little things people share with their partners has gone. I had a massive tree come down last week, and J doesnāt know about it. Tiny things that we shared.
I do confess, however, to talking to him out loud, all the time at home.
Stick around for a while, we are all in the same boat.
Very best wishes.
Thanks - itās so hard and sad all the time isnāt it. All the things you never thought youād need to negotiate like fallen trees, power cuts (we have a 200yo ex farmhouse), whoās going to do any maintenance etc etc all used to be taken for granted as he just did everything.
@DebraTu
Yes, the tree also brought down and destroyed the broadband cable, so I have been tethering my mobile using my data this week! All that stuff J would have taken care of, but unfortunately, needs must, and now itās down to me.
Yes, agree ref maintenance etc, we (I mean āIā live in the woods), so always a lot of tree management, and J did all the chain sawing etc. I need to go on a course, but donāt have the energy yet. Perhaps one dayā¦
I have had quite a few okā¦ish days, but have taken a significent step back the past couple of days but I need to carry on, donāt have a choice really.
I still refer to we and ours as it brings me comfort still including H in things. I had a meltdown re maintenance as just never had to worry about any of that before but lil you said we just have to deal with it now donāt we! H had a load of wood waiting to be chainsawed but my friend banned me from using it and I had a guy round to sort it so I could at least get the log burner going. All the stupid stuff 
. Are you based in the UK?