Thank you Jane, Like you say, some things are timeless. I’m coping with her garden by getting a gardener in. I’m not able to manage what she created, so i have professional help. I fully understanf the “bittersweet comment”, just listen to Clive Gregson’ s song of the same name
Take care of yourself
D
Will do . You take care of yourself too, including getting to bed! 
A big late when we have so much to face tomorrow! Night night x
You’re so right, tomorrow, later today I’m bringing Junenhome…
Hope having June home brings you some peace Dave, Don’t quite know why but having Malcolm home somehow completed the circle, the last thing I could do for him. Now he’s home I don’t think I could be parted from him now, I talk to him a lot, he’s in the bedroom with me. Poor guy, no peace! Thinking of you today x
Oh God, Dave, that song. And seeing hands on a guitar like that, I’m a mess. Sorry, not what you want to hear today., hope all goes well .x
Hello Sheila, thank you for that lovely reply. I can relate to the idea of washing and storing Peter’s clothes. I washed all Malcolm’s shirts and often put one in with the washing so I can see something of his on the line. I came across some of his swimming trunks the other day in an underwear drawer and it broke my heart all over again thinking of our lovely holidays and how happy he was, swimming in the sea. It’s strange how differently we all react to bereavement. like your brother in law, Dad removed all trace of my Mum almost immediately. A friend helped him and I knew nothing about it til it was done,. I found it heartbreaking so could never do that to my children and with Covid and it’s restrictions they can’t come here anyway. I wonder why people think it’s morbid to hang on to everything, I wear Malcolm’s sweaters and pyjamas and it’s a lovely feeling. As for his ashes, we’d all talked about what we would do with them but thanks to this wretched virus we couldn’t and I’m so grateful. He’s on our bed in a lovely willow casket and having him there gives me some peace. I think all these kind of things sound morbid until you’ve been there then it seems quite natural, you love them and want them near. Hope you have a good day and thank you again for your reassuring words. Sending love x
Hi Bjane
I would love to wear Tony’s sweaters etc but he was 6’4 and I am 5’ if I breathe in! So prhaps not. I am keeping a scarf though, that’ll be better than nothing. You have to make the best of a bad job.
Hello Sheila you are so like me . We are the same generation. I have have my Ron here and still after 4 years. He is not going any where without me so when I go the family will mix us together and then scatter us together. Everyone has different thoughts on this but that is how I feel. I will e thinking of Dave today he will have different feelings but I am sure he will be glad his June is home with him. Xxx. CArol xxx
Ann, that made me smile, the thought of you being swamped. I’m 5.3 and Malc was 5.10 so not too bad apart from gorilla sleeves! .And I’m with you Sheila re the ashes, as we said, we’re Nilotic letting them go. Sending love xxx
Yes we all feel for Dave, that feeling when you first hold them is something that can’t be described. As was said earlier, bittersweet. Hope he feels all the love we’re sending him x
Hi everyone
Interesting reading how you have all coped with the loss. I decided to let most of Brian’s things go as soon as possible, but that’s me I’m afraid. Always one for clearing things out. Brian hated it if he saw me tidying up. He was a hoarder. everything would come in useful at some time or other.!!!
He was 6ft but slim, I’m 5’ 3" so I can get away with wearing his winter jackets and fleece’s. I don’t mind them being baggy. I wear them to walk the dogs and when gardening and I also get great comfort and feel close to him. Just to touch them is him. His '‘man room’ was full to capacity with his painting equipment, collection of camera’s, Photographs, books, computer and musical equipment. it took me five months of hard work to sort through it all and that didn’t include the loft and his shed. Why was I so manic at sorting it and getting rid. In my muddled mind I wanted to leave this house ASAP. He died here and I couldn’t bear being here. I have calmed down now and do regret getting rid of some of his things. However his painting equipment went to a family member and some was donated to a local art class. His camera’s are not gathering dust but being put to good use along with his musical instruments, scooter and electric bike. However I do wish I had kept his bike, especially with the Covid as I could have ridden it to town to do the shopping. I sold it to a friend and wonder if she will sell it back to me. I doubt it though.
Dave I am thinking of you today. I kept back some of Brian’s ashes and have him here with me but the rest were scattered and now I also regret that and wish I had all of him with me. I never knew you could keep the ashes at home. My family had never done anything like this.
Love to you all
Pat
Carol, Jane, Shiela, i feel overwhelmed by your thoughts. I’m meeting June around 2 this afternoon - looking forward to it, but dreading it too. Our friends know that she’s comming home today, but none have been in contact - i want to think that it’s because they don’t know what to say. People here know what to say - just talking about her and how you each feel is enough.
I so appreciate all of you, although we’re strangers, in many ways you are so close to me and my June
Take care all
D
We’re with you all the way Dave. Bring your June home where she belongs And no, people don’t know what to say x
Hello Dave thinking of you today and sending love. I have Ron’s St Christopher which I bought him for our Golden wedding and some of his ashes are inside and a gold heart ring also with some of his ashes inside so I feel very close to him. The rest of his ashes will go with mine when the time is right. I am sure you will so close to June when she is home with you. Xxxx Carol xxxx
A truly moving account of what it’s like to lose a husband, best friend, soulmate and everything that goes with it. My eyes are full of tears, for you me and everyone else that is going through this awful time.
Dear carolmae
I have had more than a few tears the last couple of days . I am at our holiday home and every place has special memories . But I am here at the place he loved best and where we had hoped to spend even more time after I retired . 60 is too young … and it seems so unfair - and I feel cheated when today I saw much older couples hand in hand . But my daughter , who always says the right thing said ‘ yes it is unfair mum but they probably don’t have what you and dad did . And at that I smiled again - for I believe she is right. . Never going to stop missing him . Thank you all for you kind comments about the post xx
Beautifully put, Trisha. Think you speak for all of us who have lost the one who knew us best and loved us most. xxxxx
Hi Trisha aah god bless your daughter. I agree with her. I don’t get jealous of couples because I know what Frankie and I had was rare. We were best friends before and after we became an item. We said we loved each other several times a day and meant it. To some people those 3 little words are meaningless. The pain we feel is so raw because we won the lottery and then lost everything. Take care💙
Thank you . Such a lovely tribute to a much loved husband . I am almost a year since my hubby died but we had almost 50 years married so had 10 years retirement albeit he wasn’t in best health for the last 5 . Heart bypass then prostate cancer BUT I am thankful for every one of those years .
Also for our four children and nine grandchildren and so many lovely friends .
However as you say nothing prepares you for losing the one person who loves you more than anyone - 
Hi
I sorted out my husband’s clothes a couple of months after he died and packed them away. I have only just been able to ask my stepsons if they would like any of his clothes to remember him by. They were all good quality clothes. he was always dressed so smartly and took a lot of care choosing them. As I went through them I remembered some of the places we went to when he wore certain shirts. He would always ask “does this look alright?” and it always did. I miss that so much. His boys don’t want anything after all so I have to take them to some charity shops. I know that will be so hard to do but it needs to be done. At the moment picking up his things and remembering him is still very painful and I can’t stop crying. I long for the time when it will only bring back happy memories and I will smile instead. I wear his wedding ring on my wedding finger and his gold chain around my neck. It gives me comfort that he always wore them and never took them off until they were handed to me the morning he died. As you can probably tell it has been a really tough weekend.