Hi Bev59.
I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. How on earth have you managed to cope?
I know it’s only been a short while for me, but it gets worse day by day instead of any better.
It’s just a stuggle to do anything. All I seem to do is sit and cry, look at his pictures and cry some more. I can’t listen to music and the songs we loved. all I see is him dancing around the room and singing to me and it hurts like hell.
I know we are not alone going throught our grief, but it feels like it. I was a little bit stronger last night, I managed to speak to my friend on the phone without crying and was trying to be strong, but it’s when you’re on your own again you’re bck to square one.
Sorry if I sound so depressed, I just want him back.
xx
Hi Bev. My hubby died of pancreatic cancer also but we were married 20 years. Did you marry because of his illness or were you unaware of it because we had no idea that Ron had this terrible disease where there are often no symptoms until near the end. I too have been alone for over 2 yrs and the struggle goes on and on.
When he proposed to me we didn’t know didn’t find out till December he wanted us to get married so he knew I would be ok financially I feel so low and also I lost my mum this January as well and that is hard because I don’t have my husband to help me though it i am sorry for your loss as well I hope you ok sending a virtual hug .
Hi Bev. I am so sorry for your double loss and for your husband’s late diagnosis. My Ron only had stage 3 but tumour was wrapped around an artery and they couldn’t reduce it. Chemo made him so weak and he got Sepsis. I just wish now that we had chanced leaving it alone as he seemed so well. I am further on than you and the horrific pain does subside but it is always there in the pocket of the heart. I wish you could have had a long and happy life with your husband but life can be so cruel. Hugs to you too. Xx
I understand what you are saying I just want him back as well its so hard we never really got to share anything as man and wife and also I lost my mum in January this year so double grief now .
It is nearly 12 weeks since I list my husband and I feel it gets worse every week xx
Totally agree. Gets worse instead of vetter. Just learn to exist
It’s 3 months on Wednesday since I lost my husband. Your right things have got worse over the last few weeks, I’ve just been diagnosed with PTSD and hyper-vigilance. 
So sorry for you loss sending a virtual hug x
It’s been 2 years for me and I totally understand how you feel. I find it harder now than when he died, I have never felt so lonely in all my life. X
I am so sorry for you loss it has also been two years for me since my husband passed away and I understand the loneliness it is hard sending you a virtual hug x
I am the same, it is 9 months since I lost my husband. I sat here today watching the Covid update. I can tell you where I was sat in my lounge and where my husband was a year ago when we went into lockdown. He was still unwell from having had Whipple surgery but we discussed the situation.
I just keep thinking I never imaged he wouldn’t be here now and yes I doubt my broken heart will ever heal. It is no better now than the day I lost him.
Virtual hug to all of you.
Same for me, Bob died the end of August, the day after my sons birthday. We were actually called to the hospice on his birthday ! This month has been really bad, Bob’s birthday on 8th mine on the 9th, my other sons on 6th, then mothers day. Also it was 8 years yesterday since my dad died. I went and lit a candle for Bob today. I’m struggling at the moment.