The knotted up stomach feeling

I am the same I just am waiting to join my son .is know it’s only been 5 weeks but it seems like a lifetime xx

Hi Lily and Mirlos
Last weekend we had to clear Christians flat ready to hand the keys over on Monday…it was so emotional going through all of his things… we brought everything back home with us as we could not bear to throw anything away…I wonder if our loved ones can see the sadness and misery they have left behind them…I know Christian would be devastated to see me in the state that I am in now xx

Hi marina I think they will be looking over us .I haven’t got the job of clearing Richards house as he got married in June after he thought he was clear of the cancer is don’t think I could bear to do it .they moved to carlisle 4 years ago and we are in East Yorkshire but we saw each other on a regular basis and I miss him so badly. I just wish that there was a way we could find out if they are OK. How old was your son x

Hi Mirlos…Christian was 43 so older than your son …I come from West Yorkshire but have lived in the south of England for a long time… Christian was curios to find out what it was like to live in Yorkshire and moved up there for a couple of years but being a southerner moved backed down south…but it makes me happy to think he wanted to see the place where I was born and brought up and have so many happy memories.

It doesn’t matter how old they are they are still our babies. Your son passed on my birthday. I am seeing a councillor on Thursday and my doctor has me on Meds but nothing helps I am fed up of people saying it will get easier with time.I just can’t see it some how x

Hi to you all I am so devastated for you all it is just heartbreaking the thought of you having to empty your son flat and losing your children no matter there ages .
I do think that our love ones see us .
I was with George for 36 years he was the love of my life I married at 16 when I married a beautiful loving man we had 5 children together and have 3 beautiful grandchildren and all through our life if I was upset he would do something to make me smile or just hold me and i know if he can see or here me the last thing he would want is for me to be so heartbroken.
I just hope for all of us the support our love ones give us we find away to heal and to support each other sending hugs to you all .

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Hi I really hope our loved ones are with us and I am waiting for the day I can be with my son again I miss him so much my heart is breaking x

Hi Marlo’s
I am truly sorry for your heartbreaking journey truly sorry .

Thank you Lilly
It is coming up six weeks on Sunday and I know that it is early days but it hurts so much and the more I cry the worse I feel. I just hope Richard is happy with my mam xx

Hi Marlos
It is still so hard just now you are still so raw and so overwhelmed as sadly we all are it hurts to see many people on this journey .
My husband ashes were scattered were he used to play out in woods were he grew up i scattered him there because his little sister passed away a good few years ago and that is were she was scattered and he was very close to his wee sister George was close to his sister his mum and dad who have all passed and in my heart I believe that is who he is with for me it gives me comfort that he is still surrounded with love .
I know we are all dealing with this journey in our own way and there is no right or wrong way we just take what we can and hold on hard to there love .
You are in my thoughts take care sending a hug .

I totally understand those feelings I lost my lovely Geoff on holiday last year in June he suffered a cardiac arrest in the hotel restaurant and died at the hospital. It was a terrific shock. We had been together 32 years. Like you we laughed every day and we did so every day of our holiday. I miss him so much andthere will never be anyone like him in my life again. The loneliness and heartache is enormous but thank God I have my son love him he’s looking after me like his dad would even though he’s dealing with his own grief.

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Hi Torlert

So sorry about your loss. Its very hard isnt it. I dont know if your husband had been ill or whether it was a sudden death, My husband was 70 and he did have heart problems and I suppose I should have known it would happen one day, and hes had a couple of emergencies before, but it was still a shock. He took ill on the cruise ship and I was with him all the time and saw the whole thing, at one point he looked to be stable and improving, but it was not to be, which does play with my head sometimes, The doctors did everything they could and they do have all the equipment. We were supposed to be with 2 friends but they had to cancel due to a family illness, so we went on our own and even though we missed the company of our friends, we had a really nice time and a lot of laughs, and we were really enjoying the trip. It was really hard ringing home to tell my boys.

I get up everyday and I miss him so much, even though my two adult sons ring me or call in. Some days I cry and other days I just feel numb, there is no way of knowing how I will be, and I just feel sick. My neighbours are kind and say ‘just call round if you feel sad’ but I dont feel that I want to impose my misery on them. Everyone has their own problems.

I keep telling myself that other people survive this, my mum did when my dad passed and my mother in law did when my father in law passed, so I just just get on - not sure how at the moment. I feel for everyone who is grieving, its horrid but there this forum is a help I think. Take care and try to keep it together.


Hi the trouble is when it happens to someone else we have sympathy but until it happens to us you don’t know the feeling we are getting I am devistated it seems my life as ended people keep saying chin up and move on but it’s not as easy as that the feeling inside of numbness you can’t explain I go to bed at night thinking if it wasn’t for my lovely dog and cat it wouldn’t matter if I woke up or not but I have to look after them

Hi this just me saying how I have felt today I’m hoping that writing it down will make sense to me .
George passed away on the 26th November and the pain has been so overwhelming at times I fell like I can’t get a breath I think like most people who are dealing with at the first you are so lost as if it’s all a horrendous dream you do everything in a fog then for me everything I saw or went that was a reminder of George just crushed me .
I know the love of my life died I was there I seen him go but today standing looking out my kitchen window there was a overwhelming pain that was like a fog that was protecting my mind lifted and I said out loud George you are not coming back you have gone .
And I’m heartbroken .

Hi lily I lost my wife in October yesterday I managed not to burst into tears until three in the afternoon which is a breakthrough I thought I maybe coming to terms with my loss but then this morning as soon as I got out of bed the tears were flowing people keep saying that time will help the pain but at the moment I’m going through the it’s not fair stage I feel cheated of a good life with the person I love . I was funny witty man who enjoyed a laugh but since Julie passed I haven’t laughed once

Hi john david
I’m so sorry that we are all here my husband George was the one that did things to make me laugh he was such a beautiful man he was so caring loving honest he always told me the reason he was born was just to meet me and make me happy .
I’m truly sorry you have lost you beautiful wife Julia and you have also been cheated of a life that should have been longer .
It was such a overwhelming felling today as if my head has taken over from my heart and for the first time I knew he was never going to be with me as it once was and overwhelming sadness just gripped me .
I am thinking of you and all on the forum take care .

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Hi Lily
I can understand everything you’re saying, Jack passed away on 6th December, 7 weeks ago today. I’m feeling so sad and lonely, like you say, it is the awful realisation that he’s gone and he’s not coming back. My daughter took me out yesterday, and I broke down in her car, I was remembering being out in the car with Jack. He too was the love of my life, like you I’m heartbroken, as usual I’m crying as I write this. I know you can understand exactly how I’m feeling, this pain is unbearable. Thinking of you and everyone on this forum.

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Hi Janet
I am sorry this pain never seems to lift I try so hard like you and everyone just to get through a day at a time but more time than not it just comes and bites me in the ass .
I was out today and I saw a woman who I just really know to say hello to but because George and we’re together so much she also New George to say hello to as well .
She passed me and at first I didn’t see her but she shouted and came over and she had a big smile on her face and said my god has George let you out on your own and laughed .
I wanted to slap here over the face but it wasn’t here fault so I had to take a deep breath and tell her my heartbreaking story her poor face she just looked so uncomfortable said she was so sorry and said I have to go and get my bus and I just wanted to crumble into a ball .
I got the bus home and thankfully it was a cold day so had my big scarf round my face and the tears were just flowing .
I do no how you fell my heart was sore when you said you burst out crying in your daughters car it is such a massive wave that comes over us I manange to get through the day not every day not constantly crying please don’t get me wrong I cry every bloody day but not as much as I did the pain is still so heartbreaking and overwhelming and missing him every min of the day and night just like you do .
I’m sorry Janet I’m just rambling on I am thinking of you and everyone on the forum take care Janet big hug .

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Hi Janet and Lily

I know exactly how you feel. I try so hard to keep my emotions under control but it doesn’t take much to set me off. I went by train to London yesterday ( feeling pleased that I had managed to get myself up and organised, mind you nearly asked for the wrong destination). Got chatting to a lady in the waiting room. She asked me a simple question ‘do you work?’. That was it - the whole sorry tale of my life came tumbling out. We sat together with me sobbing as I chatted about Geoff and she told me about her life. When we got to London we were like old friends. We hugged each other (both of us crying now) and then went on our way.

I have another stressful day coming up soon - it will be Geoff’s Birthday. Not sure how to handle that day yet.

Thinking of you both and others on here who are suffering. Still trying to cope one day at a time.


Hi Janet and Yvonne
Well done you for getting on the train that was amazing step and how nice you meet a nice lady to comfort you on your journey .
I think we are all doing so well just getting out of bed is such a goal never mind going out the door or back to work if anyone had said to me a few weeks ago that I’d be back at work I would have just burst .
Every day is a goal .
I got a book it’s called losing a spouse by Anna ingolfs and Gudfinna Eydal can I just say I think these women were in my head my feelings my overwhelming pain my fears all the horrendous things that I have inside me the two woman both lost there husbands if you can please get the book it is all our pain in a book and how they got through the overwhelming times .
I know it might not be everyone’s thing but I think it really well written.
I will be thinking of you Yvonne on Geoff birthday .
I’ll be thinking of everyone on the forum sending a hug to you and everyone else .