Hi John,
I know exactly how you are feeling. I lost my husband in October and I cant concentrate at all.Sometimes I cant even string a sentence together. I feel that I’m mostly on an other planet. And when I do think I’m doing relatively ok, the mad tearful side of me comes back to remind me that I’m not. I’ve nearly got through half a box of tissues in the last few hours and its not getting any better.
I too have a knot in my stomach and a shaking that I never had before. I wish I could make things better, or have something useful to say. I’m truly sorry that we are all on this site. But it is comforting to know that there are people who understand the unbelievable and unbearable loss
Hi carera I know what you mean I had one day when I didn’t cry until three in the afternoon I thought I had turned a corner but since then I’ve been terrible , I keep wishing I was with my wife then I get a fear inside me that I won’t find her which scares me more than living , the tears and pain are unbelievable as you know it’s not easy I lost my wife in October and there hasn’t a day gone by that I haven’t been in floods of tears if that makes me sound unmasculine so be it but I love her so much I hope you can ease your pain soon
Yes John David I know exactly how you are feeling I have the same as you cry most of the evening and just want to be with my Carol went to the grave this morning and had a chat with Carol but left in a flood of tears think about her every day and today is 4 weeks since she left us I feel that there is no purpose left in my life anymore we had plans for the future and at 66 yrs of age did not think this would happen yet maybe in 15 yrs or so but I really don’t think I will get through this heartbreak in my life My children have been amazing not forgetting they have lost their Mum and when I go to bed at night sit on the bed looking at photos and just in a flood of tears and maybe wrong but I really hope I don’t wake up so at this moment in time I really am totally lost and a broken man George
Hello John and George,
I’m truly sorry for the loss of your loved ones. I feel exactly the same and my husband always said I was a strong person. If he could see me now, how wrong he was.
I am completely lost and broken too.
I can’t see the point in anything, however we all must carry on. I could’nt leave my children motherless as well as fatherless. Although they are grown up now, with their own families.
I try to pretend its not real but its impossible. He’s not here, he doesn’t come home from work and he doesn’t call me.I just don’t know how to carry on.
Its still very early days for all of us. I’ve been told that crying is good- not that I have a choice in the matter.
I hope that you can take some comfort in this site.Talking to people who are in the same sorry boat, experiencing the same nightmare.
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Hi there sorry for your loss , i lost my husband on 2nd january feel exactly the same feeling so lonely at the moment.
Really Sorry for your loss.
I wish there was some sort of answer that could make you feel better.
Its a nightmare but its comforting to talk to people who share the feelings. I don’t think anyone can imagine the loss, without having lost their soul mate too.
I’m really sorry
Hi
I am truly sorry at the loss of your beautiful wife you will still be in shock it is still so raw everything will be just like a fog .
I lost my husband on the 26th November and I look at the photo beside my bed every night and cry .
Like you I feel cheated out of the years that were in front of us the plans the dreams our time and now like you it’s gone .
I am so glad you have good support from your family I hope in time the memories will bring us a time to smile again sending my prays .
Lily
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Thank lily yes I have a photo by my bed of the both of us and I also cry every night the house is so empty now and last night I found an old diary going back to 1970 and in it it says met this boy tonight and his name is George on 19 th December this nearly sent me over the top and ended up on the floor thought I was going to have a heart attack which I could not give a dam for then my daughter phoned and when I didn’t answer the phone they came round in less than ten minutes and they were in a state as well and calmed me down as you everywhere in our house Carols things are all over every room and it’s slowly killing me I really don’t know if can can survive this heartbreak but as said before hopefully I won’t wake up in the mornings then we can be together once more Sending my prayers to you.
Hi
I know it horrendous when you see something that knocks you on your ass .
I opened the the drawer in the kitchen and my husband wore knee pads when he was at work and when I washed his work trousers for work I would iron the trousers and put the knee pads in and there they were in the drawer I just could not stop crying I know it sounds so daft getting so upset about bloody knee pads .
I wish you well please take care of your self you are in my prayers .
Lily
Lily, that is nowhere as daft as my reaction yesterday. I was tidying the kitchen cupboards and right at the back of one was a half used bottle of Crosse and Blackwell brown sauce, which my husband loved. I cried and cried until my head ached. The sauce is still there until I have the courage to throw it away as I don’t like it. Crazy ? Definitely. Warmest regards, Eileen xxx
Oo Eileen
I sit at times and think my god George what are you saying as you see me in fits of tears over things that before had no meaning .
My sister in law say to me when I tell her about what daft things I’m doing that George would be saying my god pet what are you doing and probably shaking his head what a sorry state we are in Eileen take care lily xx
Does anyone have the same problem talking. I can sit without saying a word to people I know and love, and hold very dear to me. My mind is blank and I cant find any words to say.Is it just me?
My Husband died on Christmas day last year and I also have that horrible knotted stomach feeling. I hate it. I am worried about what the future holds as I am sure you are. You are not alone I hope that in time it will fade. Look after yourself, I hope you start to feel better soon.
I lost my princess wife of 25 years 5 weeks ago at the tender age of 49.
It was completely out of the blue ,I came home from work to find she had died at home sometime that afternoon, it rips me apart that she died alone, she had had chronic back pain for the last 11 years which had shattered her dreams.
We were soul mates and I love her more than the universe.
People try to help by saying take one day at a time but it is more like an hour at a time (if that).
We are both Christians so this I do know, and I hope it brings a little comfort to other’s, in heaven you feel no pain and what is even more fantastic is that you have no memory of ever being in pain.
It also states the we will recognise loved ones in heaven.
I personally believe that they cant see us grieving on earth because that would undermind what heaven is, but I trully do believe they can only see the pure love we have for them, because if we did not have pure love for them what would we be grieving for.
This doesn’t in anyway stop my grief, and my faith has been rocked, but I personally keep pulling myself back to the fact she is no longer in pain, and can never remember ever being in pain.
Hello Richard
I am so very sorry that your wife has been called home but hope that this site and all who use it will be of some comfort and reassurance to you.
Thank you for sharing your beliefs with us and reaching out in your grief…my own faith is nowhere near as strong as I would hope but I do believe that God is actually present with each of us in our grief and that He provides that inner strength which we all find from somewhere to carry on, almost in spite of ourselves.
It is very early days for you, and also for Kezz, but the waters will get a little calmer and the storms will not be as frequent as time rolls on.
God be with you on your journey… as I am sure He was with your wife as she journeyed home. x
Thank you for such kind heart felt words, I do hope your right about the storm’s eventually calming slightly
I lost my soulmate after knowing him since we were 19 but only reconnecting last year. 5 weeks ago after I had seen him all day and spoke to him on the phone he suddenly stopped replying. As this was unusual I did a police welfare check and he was found dead - no cause of death as yet he was 35. Like you here I’m struggling to go on, i function by getting up and going to work but i would rather not exist it still barely feels real I saw him every day of my life and then never X
My husband died last October and I feel exactly like you almost every day. It’s a feeling of impending doom. I also find myself clenching my jaw and biting the inside of my cheeks. I don’t know why it happens but I think it might be a fear of falling apart. I dread going to sleep and find myself doing thing all the time so I don’t have to think. The only time I feel at peace is when I go for a walk with my dog. I think lots of people must feel this way. We can’t be the only ones. Each day I get up and just put one foot in front of the other and try to make a better life for myself what that will turn out to be I don’t know yet. Time will tell.
Hi Quilter
I went to bed and couldn’t sleep. Like you I had a feeling of impending doom. Just couldn’t settle at all. I got up to make a drink and have just read your post. My husband died in October and it’s seems everyday brings a new challenge to overcome and just like you I get through each day trying not to think too much. I know it’s a bit late to post, but I wanted you to know I know exactly how you feel.
Let’s hope tomorrow is a better day.
Yvonne
There must be hundreds of people like us. My husband died in October as well. I am getting worse each day. Falling deeper in to this black hole. The whole world looks different. Familiar places and people all seem very different now.
I dont know what the answer is. I know that nothing will bring my husband or my old life back, but I cant get out of this downward spiral.