Hi @Hazel4 thanks for your kind words .
I don’t think there is a magic fix except maybe time, but I think even that will just dull the pain maybe. And we are all different.
Karen actually said that she felt robbed as her illness worsened, that we wouldn’t have the growing old together we took for granted. We were just getting to a point where we could take trips away and get a bit of freedom back…
Take care and be kind to yourself.
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Hi @Skip ,I appreciate your kind words and find so many similarities in your experiences with my own.
We just get on getting on ,don’t we…
Take care of yourself.
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I know its so sad … my husband never even reached pension age so he could enjoy some more travelling with me … its rotten isn’t it 
no idea where my life gonna go now - it throws so many things in the air doesnt it xx
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I feel absolutely cheated. Just managed to get on an even keel. No more overtime. Go on weekends away or weeks. 28th Feb diagnosed with lung cancer quite by accident. Stage 4. 25th April he has gone. I don’t think I can do this. The pain is indescribable. We are both 57. His birthday was 26th March. 
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I know the pain really is awful isnt it ! The pain in your heart is immense . My husband same - diagnosed in October and by December he was gone ! God bless us all xxx
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@Rammie im so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, aged 61, in 2021 and with treatment did quite well until last October. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you, it must feel like he didn’t even get a chance at treatment and more time.
Take really good care of yourself xx
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@Lucy55 it had gone to his bones and adrenal. But was small on the adrenal. They were going to give him treatment. We were positive and thought could have him around for a while. Then over Easter he had trouble getting out of bed. We found had gone to his brain. But the put him on steroids. He improved the day he went they had discussed whole brain radiotherapy. He was still in hospital and we had the bed at home for him to come home. He sat eating his tea that evening. I was with him thankfully. He got up said he felt sick. Fell back onto the bed and he was gone. Just like that… I can’t imagine another 20, 30 maybe years of being like this. I just want him back. And I know that can’t happen. I look for signs he is with me too. The car radio when I get in it. Sometimes on AM which is static. Not a preset. And every place I have been to register his death or arrange the funeral. The computer won’t work. Or it crashes or the printer or photocopier doesn’t work. 
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I totally agree with this my dad died on the 5th March very suddenly his funeral was on the 20th April and since then everyone around me (not my siblings) has gone back to business as usual and seem to have no empathy at all about how grief is affecting me, I don’t expect them to pander or anything but there is literally zero acknowledgment anymore about the death and then o am getting through days trying not to cry and act like stuff is normal but the way that my dad died is constantly on my mind and is so tiring. I send you some empathy and good wishes with coping at the moment as I know how near on impossible it sometimes feels and exactly like a bad surreal dream xx
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Oh join the club … i dont get much empathy from my own family ! Theyre horrible ! I get more empathy from my neighbours ! One of my daughters has been kind recently though so thats a relief 
xx
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Hi Spike, i can fully empathise with all you’ve said. I lost my best friend who i shared our place with for 33 yrs. She was my rock, kept me grounded & never let me diwn. I could count on her 100% & i’ll never have that again. I too have 2 dogs & one was like a therapy dog to my friend. She grieved like i could never have imagined. So i had to be strong for the pair of them. It sometimes is the little things. Someone in a film will do or say something & triggers my emotions. I too feel everyone moves on & at times i’m still stuck, in shock as it was sudden & unexpeted & on a daze. At times thinking i can’t do this alone, i miss her so much. I find people ask how you are but they want to hear you’re ok. They can’t handle it if you aren’t. I have no family & at times feel very isolated but my dogs need me & keep me going. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife, it’s awful what has happened. I lost my friend the morning of the first lockdown so dealing with all that & being alone, i don’t know how i did it. I guess like now, one day at a time & go with the flow. It’s very hard though & i do struggle.
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Hi @Scamp1 I m so sorry to hear about your best friend. It must have been an awful shock, I can’t imagine losing Karen like that, though even when you know the worst you always think there will be more time than there is…
In the end it was the final few days that were the hardest, I went from Karen starting a new course of treatment and thinking we had caught a case of sepsis intime to being told it would be a matter of weeks to getting the dreaded get here fast call the next morning. We atleast got to sit by her side for her last day… I was numb for weeks I can only imagine how you felt and then going into lockdown too.
I hope you continue to find solice and companionship through your dogs, I m so sorry you don’t have family around to help you along, my children have been my life line…
Look after yourself ,and there a lots of lovely people on here I discovered only this last week to share experiences if you need to vent.
Take care.
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I’m new on here so just seeing how it goes. Yes was tough but she died at home with me & the dogs which is what she’d have wanted. For her it was quick, pretty sure pain free & she knew nothing about it. For me & i’ll spare you the details it was awful & i still relive that last weekend & that morning. What hapoened, the sounds, the smells, all of it. I wish you well & am pleased you have your children.
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I know exactly how you feel spike 7… Ive kept all of my hubbys things…ppl have stopped asking how im coping now infact they dont even mention him anymore!! And that hurts me to my core as he was such a good frend to many ppl here. I talk to him all the time n feel like screaming but dont for fear i wont . I feel angry at the world and robbed kike our future of growing old together has been stolen. Im ripped apart inside abd still feel like theres a hole where my heart used to be…and well…just numb like i am existing not living…he was only 55…why why WHY are the words whirling around my head…constantly…i lost his family and my own when i lost him too…( Too long a story so grieve for that too…im totally alone…he was my care because im disabled…but above all that…i lost my everything when i lost him…i lost what was
" home" and just get through each day empty…cheated…and robbed…thats my life now…its just a nothingness…a pit of devastation…and i wake each morning thinking oh god not another day…just take me too huge hugs lovey and know your not alone with how you feel. However much it feels like you are xxx:purple_heart:
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Aw tina i totally get you. My life is pretty similar too its that emptiness in your life now theyre gone isnt it ? That’s what makes me cry -a lot !! Why dont people understand that ? Are they so thick ? And why do people just avoid talking about them as if they were never here ? Its so hurtful isnt it ? When they were your everything 
Big hugs to you xx
Oh and btw i haven’t got rid of any of my husband clothes either … dont rush into anything ! Its your life not anybody elses x
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Hi @Tina6 , thanks for your reply.
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband.
I think losing a partner at any age must be incredibly hard, but when they are younger it adds the feeling of being robbed of life yet to be lived. We had so many plans…
Losing touch with family must only add to the awfulness of how you are feeling too. I ve found the lovely people on this forum very helpful and supportive though even though weve been thrown together through the very worst of circumstances .
Be kind to yourself and take care xx
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18 weeks without my soul mate the love of my life, and everyday seems a struggle, keep asking why, what point is there carrying on, the pain is unbearable at times, just finding it very difficult he was the love 
of my life is this the pain you have to endure because you loved them so much
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Hi @Lin22 , so sorry to hear about your partner. I m afraid I think you’re right in that grief is the price we pay for loving someone so deeply…
In my own experience it comes in waves, I m fortunate to have people close at hand but as other’s have said thats not always the answer either.
As someone said to me earlier in this thread, its trying to be grateful for the memories and for the positive impact your partner has had on your life…
Try and take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
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The emptiness is indescribable. The pain is nothing like I have experienced in my life. I wake up every morning knowing I have to trudge through another pointless day without him. Putting on a brave face so other people don’t feel awkward. Not even had his funeral yet. I am not sure how I will get through that one @Lin22
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I try very hard each day to carry on but it’s breaking my heart to know I’m here and he isn’t I feel like a lost soul trying to reach out for someone that isn’t here anymore 
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Sending hugs least we know exactly how we both feel thanks for sharing your thoughts x
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