The loss of my adult son

Losing a child
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111/2 years after my son unexpectedly passed away, I’m not much better than the day that he died. I’m a completely different person now. Everything in my life is gauged as before or after his death. It consumes my every waking moments. People say that it gets better, but it does not.

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Hello Grnnyofthree

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your son. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care, Rhi

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Hi Granny of three, this is my fifth christmas without my son Ryan.
Ryan died of brain cancer when he was 29.
At this point the feelings of loss remain . I dont think it gets easier i feel i have just become accustomed to them
We speak of him often, laugh at stories of his less positive personality traits.
Its hard to enjoy life for a long time i felt guilty if l laughed or enjoyed myself.
But i knew my son would not have wanted us to be sad forever.
So i decided to battle the grief. Sought counseling and it helped to reset my mindset to something a bit more positive.
I am not the person i was before he was diagnosed. But life always changes us and leaves its Mark.

Wishing you some peace xx

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Hi Gayle, this my 11th Christmas without Brock. He passed suddenly. He was diabetic and didn’t know. He went into a diabetic coma during the night and aspirated. It blew my world apart, as I know that it happened to you. I hope you find some peace. Thanks for the email. It takes another mama to understand.

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I take comfort in your messages. This is my first Christmas without James. He died suddenly 5 months ago aged 31. My heart hurts in a world without him. X

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I lost my son Simon on 13th January 2023 and I’m finding every day a struggle I cry constantly and I’m always asking God why he took my son away when he was only 32 is death was due to a fall and bleeding into brain he was found in the street early hours of morning by a passerby and they called emergency services and the police was first on scene and they didn’t help him even when he said he couldn’t breathe I’m asking why didn’t the police get him help instead of assuming he was a drunk he lay in street for one hour with this lady holding his hand and begging police to get him help when they realized that he had stopped breathing they summoned help but it was too late I was away on holiday and wasnt informed by the police but my deaf daughter rang me screaming down phone I can’t cope with every day living I tried to find someone I could talk to but was unsuccessful so I have been struggling on my own I’m not sleeping good or eating I saw my Dr but was told things will get better to give it time and Christmas I’m finding a real struggle and then i got to cope with January after I can’t get bereavement help anywhere I just wished my son was here I just don’t know how to cope with my grief I miss my son’s voice every Friday when he used to ring me and say I love you mum I never thought this would happen to me his sister is struggling and his brother is as well but how do we hope with this grief

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I am so sorry to hear of your terrible loss. My son, also called Simon, died recently. I too constantly think of the what ifs and if onlys. It is agony.

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Hi O, it must be awful to know your son was not treated with kindness and care when injured.

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