Dear Friends, Should I write this message or not??? Well, why should I hide it - to some of you it may mean nothing! My wife died almost a year ago — I am experiencing 2 divorces in my family - one son in law is staying with me, living in my basement apartment. Ok, I can accept the setbacks — I was cutting grass, raking up the leaves , the lawn mower stopped working, I pulled a muscle in my shoulder because the pull cord is somehow locked. I went back to blow-vacuuming the leaves. I received a phone call from the Eye Clinic - they wanted to know if my wife was coming in for her eye appointment, It’s not their fault, so I had to tell them that my wife had died and that she was not going to make her appointment. The clerk was very apologetic and expressed her sorrow. That’s when it hit me! I couldn’t talk - but broke down tell her my wife had died. There have been a few telephone calls as well as letters and catalogs, etc. I had enough for the day and stopped the grass cutting. I watched TV for a while, then my son-in-law came upstairs and asked how I was doing - I told him everything that occurred. I could see a tear welling up in his eye. How I hated to tell him this. I guess the bottom line for me is I’ll always miss my wife., and he will miss her too. I know this is not in the forum we have here on the site. But today, I felt I needed to release this emotional setback that had happened today. Some of you may dismiss this experience, but for me it was another reminder of how much I miss my wife and the effect it has on us here . Wishing you all the best!
Herb
Greencat1950 I know exactly what you mean. You think you have a little bit of what passes for “new normailty” going on and the slightest little trigger breaks the wall you are building up to sheild yourself from some of the awful pain and loss and the grief comes straight back and knocks you over. I had two instances in recent days. First was on Monday. Tyre pressure warning light came on in my car. I hate doing my tyres. I know HOW to do it, I’m just convinced I’m going to let even more air out so I drove to the car tyre place my husband used for spares etc. In the office they took my car reg number and asked me if my husband still had the car registered on their system. Had to say No and could they please take his name off their database because he had died. You think you’ve told everyone who needs to know but there’s always another ready to smack you in the face. Second time was last night just as it was getting dusk, which I hate, another long evening dragging ahead. I was in the kitchen feeding my dog and knocked a glass on the floor which smashed everywhere. I shouted at the dog to get her out of the kitchen then burst into hysterical tears and could NOT stop. Cried all the time I was cleaning up the broken glass and thought some very dark thoughts before putting it all in the bin. We all know I wasn’t sobbing over a piece of broken recycling. It’s the loss and loneliness and not knowing how many endless years before I see him again. Hope things get easier for all of us here. It’s endless isn’t it?
Oh I feel your pain. Especially now the long nights are here. I have a friend stay with me a couple of nights a week and it’s the only time I can sleep.nease talk to me it will help us both. Where are you basic . X
Meant this reply for Bessie but still applies to all of us. Sometimes the smallest thing seems to break your heart all over again. My boiler went wrong and the usual man came to fix it and said your ond man is good at this why didn’t you get him to donut . I just went to pieces as I told him he had died. He was so so kind.
I live in Wiltshire.
I used to
Live in Hungerford bordering Wiltshire