Top things that have completely shocked me over the last 3 months since I lost my husband. People are strange aren’t they!
Why do you say “he has died “not “he has passed away “ it sounds quite harsh
Answer - he is dead, however I say it won’t change that. I won’t say things just to please others!
Don’t you feel guilty booking holidays now he has gone
Answer - no. Kev loved holidays and he would be laughing at me for booking more. He would want me to be happy (wouldn’t you rather see me happy?)
The worst one “why are you still wearing your wedding ring, technically you arent married anymore”
Answer - technically you are correct, but I have no intention of taking it off because in my heart I will always be married to him ( that one I then de-friended on Facebook!)
Have a good day everyone
My worst one was “God needed him more than you”.
As for wedding rings, I now wear his as well as my own.
At the end of the day I go to bed with my own conscience. I do what I need to get by, I do my best.
If it doesn’t suit other people, that is their problem.
Xx
I don’t get this your not married any more,in my mind just because he’s died doesn’t mean you are no longer married to him.I know the law considers you single but I just don’t get it.
Willow, I am a non believer so I don’t think anyone would say the “god wanted him” to me or physical violence might result! I stopped believing when our baby grandson died
My husband was a non-believer too.
I believe in God, and I keep an open mind. I don’t align myself with any organised church, or attend any.
I hope that one day we will be reunited. In the meantime I look for signs that he is still with me.
The person that said that to me is a devout Christian, although I didn’t think it was a very thoughtful or helpful thing to say. Perhaps they thought it would be a comfort, it takes all sorts, I suppose.
I would have preferred a hug and a bunch of flowers, but hey-ho.
Xx
One of my closest gin (who owns a fruit farm and has been on holiday with me and my late husband) didn’t send me flowers, but sent a bottle of gin and a bag of apples! Some people are so kind, others just don’t understand the trauma.
And yes I do believe there is something, maybe more aligned to nature, my husband believed the same too and that does give me some comfort xx
My absolute worst one was ‘I know how you feel because we had to have our dog put down before Christmas.’ Truly!
The best one was a friend who arrived with a hug, moussaka and some brandy.
Yes, I have had the dog conversation too!I just looked the other way so they couldn’t see the expression on my face! Brandy and moussakka - that’s a good friend xx
One of mines was “you’ve lost a lot of weight, are you going to try and keep it off “. I, as a lot of us do had lost over two stones….yes like that’s a bonus of losing your husband.
The W Plan Diet. It has a nice ring to it.
Effective, but very painful.
I think I would rather be overweight.
There really are some idiotic things said to bereaved people.
Xx
Mine was my SIL who I have known since I was 11. Heard her say to her husband “ she looks tired”. I responded “ that’s what happens when you cant sleep”. She then said I shouldn’t rely on my very helpful neighbours so much who would kindly give me lifts and I should always use a taxi.
Oh, and another one. My work six weeks after my husband passed away…we think you should come to the Xmas party night out, it’ll do you good. No…it really really wouldn’t.
And a colleague saying I was a bit snappy after getting so tired of being asked if I was ok all the time when I told her no, I wasn’t.
There aren’t many of us in this site down here. Dorchester considerably bigger than Crewkerne but you know the issues of rural living. If you are ever down this way you should drop in for coffee.
Thank you Pudding, my husband is buried at the natural burial ground at Corscombe so not far away from you. I used to work in Crewkerne, with a bank that is no longer there (don’t think there are any left there now) I have friends and relatives in that area too. So far, I have only managed to drive to Corscombe, so when I feel I can drive further, I will let you know xx
