the unfairness of it all makes me even more sad and angry

It’s been a month since my hubby died, he suffered a life-limited neurological condition of over 8 years. Watching him deal with the terrible symptoms that came with his condition brought so much despair, he was only 38 at the onset of the disease and he died at 46. I have grief for all that he has lost, the year of our life together as well. I am finally processing all those years of grieving and caring for him as well as his death, I would not have wanted him to continue suffering but the fact that he is no longer her breaks my hear beyond words and makes the loss we experienced so many years ago real. It is all so overwhelming, not sure how I can carry on, my heart physically hurts.


Although my husband was older, I still think how unfair it was that he died. He was such a lovely man, who deserved so many more years of life.
I believe we are not alone in thinking this.

You are a short way along this devastating journey, although it will feel longer.
Everyone on here understands what you are going through.
This is a a good place to express yourself.

Big hugs x


@RoseGarden, thank you for your kind words. We ask ourselves this question over and over why is it that some of the kindness people are dealt such terrible cards in life? Sending big hugs to you as well


I’m so sorry for your loss. Its very early days for you so I know how devastated you must feel. Like @RoseGarden my husband was much older, but I was still not ready to lose him, he still had so much life to live.
Please keep posting on here. We all understand because we’re all going through this horrendous journey of heartbreak and loss.
We are all are here for each other

Take care
Sending hugs


thank you Liro. Hugs to you as well.


Its very true we feel robbed of the life we should have with our loved one. Life is cruel and there is nothing that makes sense of it all. You just have to try and keep going , taking one step at a time. I say that but i know as only being recently bereaved 3 weeks and 2 days ago, how hard it is to find a purpose to carry on. But we know deep inside of us thats what our loved ones would want. Big hugs xx


My husband found out he had a brain tumour in 2014 so for 10yrs he fought it.
We travelled all over the world and fitted so much in.
Nick remained positive. Taking his chemotherapy medication and living a normal life.
2022 Nick got the shingles in his face and sepsis. He fought it.
He got ill Christmas 2023… he said he had a headache and would sleep it off.
By 27th December i demanded to take him to hospital.
Really fit guy. Cycled and ran everywhere so observations came back good.
CT scan… inflammation on his brain pushing his tumour. He was given a high dosage of steroids.
I brought him home 6th jan 2024.
I looked after him and he deteriorated on a weekly basis.
13th march he was taken into a nursing home. I went every day feeding him.
Nick passed away 20th April. I was by his side.
I feel cheated… only 54… larger than life.
We had so much we wanted to do.
I feel so lost without him… he was my best friend aswell as love.
Its still very raw, but i dont think ill ever get over it.
I spend most days crying or angry.
Im hoping to go back to work in june or i think ill go mad :angry: listening to our favourite music and looking at photos all day.
My heart really does feel like its breaking :broken_heart: :cry:


I lost my husband in early March. My whole body felt strange at that time. My heart was physically aching as if half of it was grabbed and removed. Although the heart pain is now eased, I still get palpitation occasionally when I think of him, crying.
Like some people, my husband was much much older. But he ran a full marathon twice in his 60s, and he looked much younger than his peers. Yet he suffered from a cancer. After intensely looking after my husband for a few months towards the end, I miss helping him every day, touching him, washing him, wiping his body, putting some cream on and so on. I wanted him to stay with us much longer, although I did not want him to suffer too much. It is difficult. He always called me when he needed me. I miss his voice. I found a few voice messages from him to me the other day. I was pleased, as I can hear his voice. But it also reminds me that he is no longer with us, which is for me still difficult to accept.
I hope your physical pain will ease over time. But deep sadness is stil very painful.


Hi @AL30 I’m so sorry. Your words resonate so much with me. It is very hard without our special person. The sadness hits hard. Also the loneliness. Take care.x


Ahh, my heart goes out to you. You must feel in turmoil. Life is so cruel and its hard to understand why ! But your husband sounds an amazing person who grapped life while he could and he would want you try and find a new life for you. I know that’s way off at this time. Its all new this grief to us both and msny others on here. In time we can hope things will seem brighter. Heres hoping ! Hugs to all, who are coping with grief xx


So very sorry.

It is unfair, very unfair.

We want a reason why? Why him?

Sadly, there is not a good enough answer.

Sending you big hugs.

We understand what you are experiencing.
Please feel free to write on here at any time.
You will find such kind people will respond xx


My husband was much older than me, but age is just a number! It doesn’t matter how old, if you love each other. My husband was only 63 when he died 3 weeks and 2 days ago. I’ve got to register his death tomorrow as finally they have done a postmortem to ascertain death. I still vant believe im never going to see him again. I was writing his tribute for his funeral service today. Suddenly tears started pouring down my face and i was unable to stop crying . The immense knot in my stomach i felt was all consuming.
Realising life is never going to be the same without my husband. :face_exhaling:


I am sorry for your loss. 63 is much too young.
Registering the death of your partner is tough, and having a death certificate in your hands is very very sad and surreal… Hope you can gather yourself and get through tomorrow.


My husband suddenly and unexpectedly died from undiagnosed cancer and a pulmonary embolism. He was only 53 years. He definitely been robbed of his life and us of our future plans and dreams. Life is definitely unfair and cruel. No chance to say what I would want to say. How did this happen? He was working the day before. Didn’t notice my husband weight loss until the last week.


Thank you, it’s going to be so hard. Nightime is the worst, when you lose someone, I’m struggling to sleep as I can’t bear to go upstairs to the bed, we shared together.


Life is so cruel, 53 is no age. My heart goes out to you. But don’t blame yourself for not noticing things. We are all human ! :hugs:


Thank you xx

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It’s so hard when you had all these plans for future and now theyve been taken away from you. I know how you feel as we were the same. Our life was going to get better since he retired last year. But then he was gone !


I am so sorry to read this…life certainly is unfair and cruel xx


Very sorry for your loss. I imagine it is extremely different to accept what has happened. Your husband must have been very fit until very recently. Even with my husband’s long-term illness, the end felt too quick for me.
We cannot turn the clock back, unfortunately. That is what I tell myself occasionally. Hope you have somebody you can talk to…