Thank you and I am so sorry that you lost your husband and find yourself on this forum. Yes I have had a lot of support from friends and the doctors as was such a shock and very traumatic …take care and big hugs Xx
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So sorry we all feel the same, iIhate going to bed as well, its so lonely, our hearts are shattered, its really horrid. Everyone says it will get better but is doesn’t, how can it when you have shared everything with someone. Sending you a big hug and all the love on this board.
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I look forward to going to bed…the only time I feel ok is when I’m asleep…but then I wake up and the nightmare continues 
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We had so many plans… we didn’t buy xmas presents because ŵe were going to Venice in April 2024. Instead, Nick passed away 
Solo travelling will be difficult in the future. Especially as we always had so much fun and lots of adventures.
We went to Rome and Florence August 2023. It was so beautiful.
Life is so unfair x
Lucky you can sleep… i cant
Ive got sleeping pills but i dont like taking them.
Im tired and weepy
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Italy was our favourite country…had a 25th wedding anniversary holiday in Italy 3 months before my husband suddenly died. Just so tough xx
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We went to Venice last November for my birthday , was beautiful , little did we know it would be our last adventure away together
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I know, all we have now is photos and memories
My 22 year old son has said he’ll go with me to Venice. Kind of him but hardly the same.
I might do in the summer, just for 4 days.
Then ill have to plan for myself.
Its strange, i feel like running away. The house is getting too much but i dont really want to see people either.
I went for a massage today, my back has been killing me… stress!
I started talking about Nick after the massage and burst out crying. Felt so sorry for the girl, she was crying too.
People will probably start avoiding me…
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Aww well i can say Rome was our last holiday, August 2023.
We loved it so much if we had another day we would have got the train to Venice. We got the train to Florence one day. It was beautiful there too.
This is so painful and lonely isnt it?
I knew id be upset but i actually feel like my heart has been ripped out 
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Funnily enough my daughter ( who is 18 ) has said she wants to go to Venice with me , agree it won’t be the same but as I really need to get away from here ( everywhere I look is constant reminders ) for a little bit may well go for a few days soon .
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Our last trip abroad was to Florence in Christmas 2021. It was a beautiful Christmas. Italy is our favourite country too. Been to Rome, Venice, Florence, Sorento, Sardinia, Sicily… with lovely memories. Feel sad and lonely now…. It will be difficult for me yet to see those people and families with big smiles.
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Aww we went to Sardinia too.
Our favourite trip was New York… we spent so much money… did a helicopter ride aswell as the ferry.
Got up at 6am and went to the Rockerfella building… then went when it was dusk aswell.
Nick was so romantic 
he would send me love letters. He made every moment special.
In time ill travel again but it will never be the same x
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Such a loss my husband passed over a year now 61 no health issues just dropped and was gone. I find myself still having to just stop and remember it actually happened. We were together from primary school and his loss is profound and painful but I’ve decided he’d have been so upset if I didn’t try to be happy and enjoy our little grandchildren one of whom he didn’t get to meet so I get your physical pain I do… know there is people who love you and want your happiness to bloom
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I really dont know how anyone does get over this.
Its so overwhelming 
Im fine then i just start crying.
I wish i had a grandchild, but i dont.
2 grown up children who are living their own lives. I dont blame them.
Ive got to get through the funeral on Thursday.
Hopefully go back to work 3rd june.
Me & Nick loved travelling.
So thats the plan to travel as much as possible.
I dont want to go the pub all the time drowning my sorrows 
Ive got to be positive.
You must feel so lost 
x
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It is hard ,i had the funeral today, which was really hard. But you have to take one day at a time. If you look into the future it will be too overwhelming. Ive done it and it just breaks you. Just keep talking about how you feel and lean on family as much as you can 
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Sorry for your loss
At first i felt like i was in a bubble, the only person to go through this.
After joining this site ive realised how many people are grieving and going through the same emotions 
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Same to you . It does help talking to other people on here about how your feeling and knowing they are going through the same. The only thing thats a shame, is there is no actual groups to meet up. It would be nice to meet in person actual people going through the same grief as yourself.
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Isn’t it so incredible you can change mood on the turn of a coin. Going along and it hits like a knife. You can’t see how you survive especially if your like me when I did nothing with our banking insurances and general running of our home/lives. Massive learning curve for me but you just need to get on and survive it… daily… hourly… minute by minute. I have to believe he’s guiding me through this utter hell
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I brought my 2 kids up on my own really… well my son was only 2 years old when we split up. An unhappy marriage and i felt relieved to split.
So, i knew how to look after a household. I can do basic DIY… pay bills etc
But, this is so different. The pain is real… ache in my heart. Missing my best friend and love. We knew eachother from secondary school then went our seperate ways.
Nick restored my faith in men… shame we were 42 when we got together. He would have been a great dad but,
I didnt want to start all over again with a baby at that age.
We just got eachother, completely. Built our lives round eachother.
My daughter was 22 and left home. My son was 10. Nicks always been fantastic.
Encouraged my kids with whatever they wanted to do. A great influence.
We are all grieving for Nick in different ways.
My son says i dont talk… but im constantly thinking, remembering the past.
Clinging on to memories of Nick.
Looking at photos and listening to music.
Lonely but i just want Nick back.
Other people’s company gets suffocating.
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Ive just arranged the whole funeral by myself.
I didnt like letting people know of Nicks death though.
Thats been really tough
We were together 12yrs
But only married January 2024
And he passed away April 2024… brain tumour.
I hear people gasp… oh sorry for your loss.
You bet, i feel so cheated… Robbed of our future.
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