It’s been 5 weeks now since I lost my husband , my lover, my soulmate, my everything and the pain becomes harder each day. We had so much to look forward to but God had other plans for you, they say he only takes the best and oh boy you were exactly that. My life will never be the same again and I cannot accept that I will never see you again, I hold on to the beautiful memories and know you will be waiting for me when my time comes, I just love him so much but there is no me without you my darling 
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Hi @Steffers,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Alex
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I remember feeling just like this, in fact I could have written this myself. I’m 21 weeks in on Sunday. Not sure how I’ve got here, just putting one foot in front of the other I guess. Just getting through each day. The days are better now, they are brighter and tears don’t continually flow. I’ll never get used to not seeing him, hearing him, having him walk through the door. It’s a lonelier world I live in now. I have company but it’s not him, it’s not the same. I miss him beyond belief.
But, I have a life and it has to be lived and it’s up to me to make it worth while. I will see him again, that I believe now.
Sorry you’re in this club that no one wants to join. I hope the days get lighter for you soon.
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I wrote those words on my funeral flowers - there is no me without you. Also i wrote, to my love, the wind beneath my wings. Every day remains a struggle but 12 weeks on i do have some joyful moments before crashing down.
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@Steffers
Those are perfect words…'there is no me without you"
EXACTLY how I feel…
The old me died the moment my husband died.
I miss the old me so much too.
I don’t like the new me.
There’s no getting back to ‘your old self’, which is what everyone else around us wants to see.
I just wish people around me would see and understand that!!
10 months for me today…10 MONTHS!!! How the hell did that happen.
I’m sorry to say not one bit easier… WORSE and HARDER.
The lonliness, sadness and missing just grow each day.
Yesterday not a good day, and woken up, after very broken sleep, to think today, I just want to lock myself away all day, Just me and our 2 dogs
Hugs to you all, suffering too 
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For me this new existence has only begun i am just over three weeks having lost the other half of me sadly the half that is left i do not recognise i am a different person in everyway i go through the motions because i know my wonderful hubby would want me to i know sadly we are all going through this pain and sorrow and i pray we can get through each day till like you say we will be united with our loved ones this i know comforts me god bless to all xx
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Yes i love that too @Steffers what beautiful words ! I also agree with you we are a different person now without our loved ones for sure ! I am now angry and disillusioned with people in life ! I never realised how selfish and thoughtless they were ! My husband kept me in a protected bubble and now that bubble has burst and its just awful. I try each day to carry on but whats the point half the time ! My life is ruined ! I have no companion now and nobody to do anything with ! Nobody cares ! I just wish i had gone with him ! Wouldve been kinder i think ! But what does this world know about kindness ! I dont think it does !! 
x
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So sorry for your loss Joy, losing our partners and soul mate turn’s us into people we don’t recognise anymore, I hope like me you can find comfort in this group knowing we are all in the same boat, it’s good to talk about our loss and feelings as we try to get through each day, sending hugs xx 
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I’m right there with you, I don’t understand how people seem to think you can just get over it and carry on with life, these are obviously people that have never experienced losing the love of their life, does it get any easier? Right now I’m not sure I feel like this is my life now and these feelings will stay with me for the rest of my life, sending you hugs xx
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The old you will never return I believe, we have been damaged by something so soul destroying a part of us that will play a part of our lives forever, As they say where there is deep grief there was great love. It’s still early days for me just 6 weeks since I lost my husband and I haven’t actually accepted yet that he is not coming back, this group is a Godsend to me as we can all relate without being told to move on, hugs to you xx
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Thankyou all for your kind words you have all expressed the true meaning of a genuine love that has sadly been taken from us and no one no matter how meaningful can ever understand unless they have or are walking this lonely lofe we are now living love and hugs 
to you all xx
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You are very early on @Joy72 but i dunno if it gets easier this grief … it just changes ! Perhaps not as raw … but the pain is still there, the sorrow, the loss ! I wish i had gone with him i really do ! Its all such a damn waste of time now !! He was so lovely and kind and im raging at that so called god up there ! He can het lost he can !!!
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I can relate with you Deb, very early days for me but I don’t think it will ever get any easier, I also just want to go and be with him and look after him, we are all in this together and it’s a good thing to share our thoughts with one another, sending hugs to you and everyone going through this living hell xx😘
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Yes life does seem pointless and unfair especially times of great loss our spouses were all very special and unique to us and although we are all in this life changing time we all grieve differently i still believe in my faith,but totally understand how others may feel love to you all xx
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Yep thats whst it is isnt it ! A living hell ! I knew it was gonna be bad but never this bad ! I feel like i have lost everything ! And i have really ! Ive lost so much ! And its not fair ! Why do other people get off scott free ! Why as my husband said near the end - why does it have to be me ! And im asking the same question in this horrible , cruel world !! World ive got news for you ! I hate you !!! X
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Thank you for your reply.
10 months for me today…10 MONTHS!!!
I still don’t want to believe it’s true, and to be honest spend most of the time acting like he’s still here. I still and always will say ‘we’ and ‘us’. I talk about him in the present tense, I wrote his name in all cards I send to people, I buy him cards, I write to him, I talk to him.
Many people, especially family ( who don’t live nearby, therefore I hardly ever see them) think I should be moving on, and keep telling me I’ll get better!!!
I hate that ,…I’m NOT ill.
And I hate that despite the fact I have tried to explain my feelings to help them understand, they clearly haven’t listened to a word I’ve said.
They expect to get ‘me’ back…well as you say, and understand ,(thank you 
) that person has gone forever.
I’m done with it and them ( family) to be honest. I’m better on my own ,( and our two adorable dogs, and keeping my Phil alive in the little bubble I created for myself)
Big hugs
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Yep … im afraid “family” are the worst in my experience ! Thet dont listen and frankly i wonder if they even care ! Well its fine cos i dont care about them either and as you say easier on your own ! 6 months for me but doesnt get easier does it ! My heart still as broken xx
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There are a lot of kind people in the world and I’m sure everyone on here will have kind words for u because we all know exactly how you are feeling right now, you are not alone in Ur grief, I’m sure u have friends and family to do things with, don’t be frightened to reach out to them as I don’t know what I would have been like without them, they have been my reason to get up in the morning, I woke up the day after my soulmate died a different person and I’m learning how to look after my house and myself on my own( scarey stuff) as he done everything but use the offers of help and chat it will help a little
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No i hsve given up.on humans @ i got my puppy and some ok neighbours and people chat to me but in general i find it a cruel world out there cos people dont want to understand what its really like in your heart ! They only wanna c their version !
I know people on here understand but thats cos its happened to them !
The majority of people dont want to understand ! My counsellor said our culture are particularly bad at dealing with death and shes right !!! So right in my experience ! All talk and no action !!
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Hi All
So absolutely right
No me without you……
I also do t like the new new
I don’t want a ‘new’ life I yearn for my old life nothing natter with it everything to look forward to and yes Paul was the best and he was ‘taken’
I am in denial of absolutely everything
He passed away 24th July 2022
How have I got here
I just don’t know
I get up
Function
Go to bed
And that’s it
I miss him so so much my heart my whole body hurts
We all know here how painful it is
Xx
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