Bless you he was so young but it was lovely that you got to care for him and each other in those last years together you’re right so many people on this forum have lost there loved ones suddenly and tragically with no time to say what they wanted to. I was lucky enough to be able to tell my hubby gordon that i loved him as did he to me which i will cherish till we meet again which i do believe we will all be with our loved ones because a love as strong as we all have had never dies it lives on xxx
How I feel exactly what you have written, 6 months since my husband died. Each day I go through the motions of the day, one of daughters has started a new business recently, I’ve kept busy with that and my grandchildren, but it’s the alone times I need but are hard, we did everything together and I just miss talking with him and being together. I talk with him all the time and I had his ashes interred at the cemetery a place where we as a family can go, try and help our grandchildren understand especially the younger ones and a place I go daily and our daughters go to talk with there dad.
We are all in this group and don’t want to be here, life will never be the same, I wait on the time we can be together again.
My lovely Sheila - I SO hope you are right! You are always the voice of reason so maybe…!
I know exactly how you feel. I remember the first kiss too - I don’t think people who love like we do would ever forget. He was a great kisser, right up to the end, bless him.
I have spent most of today going through his ‘souvenir’ box. We both had one where we put cards from each other, little notes we left over the years and letters we wrote when we were called away on courses for work etc. When we first met, he was working about 70 miles away. He put in for a transfer a few days after meeting me and until it came, we wrote to one another every day! I was going through those letters today, heartbreaking but also comforting, if that makes sense, They made me cry, because he’ll never be able to tell me he loves me again, but also it was lovely to see the words he wrote.
I am like you in that i can’t believe I am nearly 78. Our granddaughter had her 21st a couple of weeks ago and said how much she wished her granddad had been at her party. They were very close. I remember once coming into the lounge from the kitchen and they were having a very interesting discussion about sex! At that stage, our granddaughter wasn’t seeing anyone seriously - she was only 18, but I think it did her good listening to her Granddad, who always gave good advice She told me once that she wouldn’t marry anyone who wasn’t like Tony! Luckily, her boyfriend (serious) is absolutely lovely and has the same values as Tony, He looks after her just as Tony looked after me, so I am so happy for her.
Love and hugs
I have always kept a diary too! So I have 57 of them! I look back over some of them now and again, it’s bittersweet.
Your granddaughter sounds just as dotty about you as Abi is about me (us). I loved what was in her case, bless her. Abi always wanted to live with us, and stayed with us often. A long time ago, we had a holiday home in northern France and our grandsons spent lots of time there with us. They are our older daughter’s children. We made wonderful memories. We sold it just before Abi was conceived as we didn’t spend as much time there what with one thing and another. Our younger daughter and her husband had said from the start that they didn’t want children, so it was a real surprise when they changed their minds. It took them14 years, so no wonder we felt safe selling. Ironically, they told us the happy news on the day we were due to tell them we had sold the house! If we’d known, we’d have hung onto it so Abi could have gone there too. She and I both regret that, but we didn’t know, and by the time they told us, it was too late to back out. Hindsight’s a wonderful thing!
I think I might private message you in future as I’m sure the world and his wife don’t want to have to plod through my essays!
I meant to wait a while before replying, but then I thought if I did, I’d forget to reply altogether! Please don’t feel you have to answer straight away. That said, it has been nice chatting to you!
Off to have something to eat now? I didn’t realise the time!
Bye for now x
Exactly how I feel, just over 6 weeks now, but I sob every day, friends offer help etc. but it’s not the same, the tears won’t stop, I make an effort to drive somewhere for a coffee but I just sit there and sob, I wear dark glasses to hide them
Know exactlybhow you feel, my wife died 8 weeks ago tomorrow. Every day feels empty, friends have been brilliant, and there is some comfort in their company, but, i had that company and my Marlene up until recently, so no matter what im doing, where i am or who im with, i still constantly feel alone.
Evenings and nights arecthe worst times for me, with the nice weatther i can keep busy in rhe garden or with outside jobs, but its when im on my own in our house that i really really feel that terrible sinking lonely feeling.
Must admit though, im a bit better fof parts of the day now, compared to four or five weeks ago.
Thinking of you x
I am exactly the same, 18weeks this Friday since my hubby left, and it’s those empty moments at night or first thing in the morning when there is nobody in the bed next to me that the loneliness is crippling, and the sadness of yet another day he is missing out on life, seeing our granddaughter getting ready for Pr6 or missing his golf buddies at the weekends or planning our 45th wedding anniversary holiday… life just seems so unfair they say it’s good that die young, well that is most definitely true in John’s case
Hi Lindi227
True true
My husband Paul was the kindest friendliest loyal generous bloke going and at 68 snatched from me
24th July 2022
Would’ve been our 45th wedding anniversary this Saturday 5th
Instead of receiving beautiful flowers he always got sent also a lovely card from him I’m alone crying grief stricken and broken hearted
A cruel cruel world
Big hugs
Xx
Thank you for posting this. I am new to the community, but you have expressed my feelings exactly, and it’s comforting to know that others understand.
Welcome Lark
Yes unfortunately and fortunately everyone here is in the same boat
And…… we understand and support each other
Welcome
Xx
Hi Bess, so sorry for your loss, I hope u have a lovely family and support network , I have my oldest son and granddaughter that have been my lifeline I also have a very good friend who has been amazing but I find myself resenting the fact that I need to lean on her. I keep thinking that before John died I didn’t need or depend on anyone as hubby was my other half and then I feel bad for thinking that not sure if that’s a natural reaction or just me
Hi Lindy 227
You and me both
Paul was my bestest friend my 100% support and like you he was all I wanted or in fact needed
Yes we had friends but we had each other
Family …… well my family …… I’m a farmers daughter and like the history books farmers look after their sons in my case my eldest brother
I have had no support whatsoever from my mum brother sister in law 2 nephews one of which Paul and I are his godparents
We haven’t fallen out and it’s been the same since I left home
Paul used to say the problem is you left home
They actually farm over the road from us
Anyhow Paul would say
They are never going to change…… so right
On the other hand paul was a twin Richard and wife have been totally amazing and thier son and family
Without them?
And a few totally amazing friends all be it 2/3 who are there for me so focus on the positive
But just finding everything so so hard
Just feel all alone which in essence I am
Heartbreaking
Take care
Xx