i had a nice afternoon ,pub garden, 2 beers and a lamb pie,there was live music and then a chance for anybody to get up and sing for local charity,that slot wasnt well supported, it was then i missed my ale loving ol man(river)i would say if you know,you know, but you on SR dont,! adrian had a splendid basso profundo voice,he sang in choirs/choral groups. and typical of cornish pubs there was singing, and after a relaxing beer he could be persuaded (for local charity)to sing “ol man river”,not PC but eyes closed you wouldnt know if it was paul robeson or “AB”. it always raised a bob or two,for the charity box and caused many a lip to quiver,eye to mist. oh,”how i miss that man of mine”,he would have loved this afternoon.
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So pleased to hear that you were able to go to the pub today with friends. It’s so hard to meet these challenges, so well done.
There seems to be so much going on at this time of year. People going here, there and everywhere and I often feel as though I am looking at everyone else carrying on just as Nigel and I would be doing, but now I am just a spectator. I try each day to put on a mask and pretend I am like most other people, whereas in reality I feel completely broken and exhausted.
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its heartbreaking being a spectator,when its couples everywhere,and the good weather has meant there is much going on, yesterday was the first time i hav e been out in a public place with lots going on in 5 weeks. and was glad to be out,to be included,its the inclusion i miss,not all couples want solos with them,thats tough.and why real friends are now counted on one hand. . im pleased with myself,i needed to “tell all”on here,the “good stuff”needs sharing,or it does with me. and then i slept well as i was able to share that i had some enjoyment. quiet today today,but not a problem,yesterday did me good.
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@manb @Beryl1B One wanders through the world, invisible, but one gets used to it. We are survivors, in all senses of that word!
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yes,survival in an existance .i say existance because its not life as i knew it, we can do nothing other than to get used/get on with it,swim,not sink. my family have recieved the email i sent with my “ideas/pos/cons”for moving closer to them,my D.I.L. was upset that i was upset,and yes they do want me to move that way,as i said they need more time to think over all i have put to them,it took me couple of weeks to put it all together,so we are set for a “round the table” on 3rd sept.
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@manb That is encouraging, that you will have a round table. I am glad you have folks around you to care, and that you managed to put together a plan. Constructing a new life, without our anchors, is a difficult task. You seem to be meeting the challenge Cindy 
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im doing my best cindy,everything i do,i do for adrian,we did have some time to talk about my future,well,he told me what i should try and do,i found it too hard to contribute to the conversation.. now,23 months in “limbo land”i feel ready,with family help to try and get a plan in place,my friends are 100% with moral support,so important. mandy
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i think about young police widows,on the start of this journey,and due to the horrific circumstances in the public eye.
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We know only too well how devastating it is to lose your partner. How you ever come to terms with the anger stage I honestly don’t know. The sheer waste of life and memories that will never now be made seems so pointless.
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our hearts go out to them,anger eats away at you.
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@manb You are blessed to have the support you do! Besides a few friends, I am all alone. I hope your plans are settled soon, to your satisfaction Cindy
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yes,grateful to have my son and daughter in law,we get on really well. but friends are easier to talk too,i have 1 in particular,my “guru”always words of wisdom,impartial,she has been here this morning for a coffee,accepted lots of advice,mostly practical,much appreciated as i will be starting the ball rolling within a couple of weeks. so before i can do anything “official”like get estate agents in,im on a mission “everyday,throw away” so today a load of odd glasses have gone to the glass recycle box. every little helps!
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@manb Yes, it is freeing to dispose of possessions. I have been doing so, since my husband died 9 years ago. If I have to move, I want to be as pared down as possible. Your guru friend sounds like a great person, and so glad you spent time w/ her today Cindy
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Hi Alex. I lost my partner of 40 years eleven months ago. My friend’s husband said something similar to me a couple of months ago, not as harsh as that, but that I had to get out more, and that life goes on. I was furious and upset, had to walk away or I would have lost it with him. A friend telling you “to snap out of it” so soon after the funeral is disgraceful. You just wonder what goes on in their heads sometimes. Take care
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hello everybody,well,i have registered with 2 estate agents in portishead,booked a house valuation here and asked a small local solicitor to act for me. ….mixed emotions,be so glad when im with family next weekend to talk all this through properly,they are enthusiastic,iam trying to be,i know its best now,having had that sudden realisation, that life on my own isnt working, but so aware of the logistcs involved. my “wednesday friends” and “guru friend” are very supportive and will do anything i need,charity shop/tip runs,and yes,i will ask this time.not struggle then tell them after the event! my son and the house clearance will deal with everything else when it happens,so i shall be able to move with very little. yes,i have it all planned in my head,thats a good start. not going to happen overnight, or this year i dont suppose,ive called it my 2027 project. brain tired,emotions running high!
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Good luck manb with everything I hope it all goes smoothly. I’m sure you will find a lot of comfort being with family around.
Wishing you all the best Tom
thanks Tom,now of course i want it to happen ASAP,it wont of course,im sure there will be worries/tears, ok sounds -ve,but house buying and selling can be very stressful,got to be realistic. ….i too wish for smooth passage tho’ mandy
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Well Mandy we will all be rooting for you and hoping it all goes well. Wishing you all the best Tom
im sticking to this group for as long as a draw breath,so updates are a guarentee.!
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Look forward to following you on here re all the updates. It’s good to hear the positivity in your words and I wish you a smooth journey, you certainly deserve it. X