i think @Hope5 made a point,”grieving for family” not occured to me that it can be part of this process,it makes so much sense into how i have started to feel.
3 Likes
Hi Mandy I hope things come together for you and you can be living close to family. I can imagine it being a lot more comfortable for you all. I often wonder what will become of me alone it’s not a problem at the moment apart from the loneliness but there will become a time when it will be difficult. Anyway, wishing you a quick sale and resolution. Thinking of you and sending hugs
All the best Tom
3 Likes
I find your story very much like mine. I lost my Husband of 55 years on 30th September 2022,.I have major subsidence in my house but it is a council house that I have lived in since 1973, so I do not have the worries about mine like you have. I do not drive, rarely go our because of knee Arthritis. i am 78 years old,healthy, but like you had been on Anti depressants for 4 years. I stopped taking them 6 months ago & still going through withdrawal but its getting better. How long have you been on yours & which ones are they? I don`t think anything helps when you lose your other half. I hope you have family & friends to lean on when you need too. I have family near by but only a couple of friends. Alan & I were always together, never apart so no time for anyone else I suppose.It is a shame we cannot all meet up with our friends on here but the distance is the problem. I live in Surrey & do not know anyone on here that come from anywhere near. still talking on here is a great help, knowing you are not alone in your grief. I hope you feel better tomorrow. Pat xxx
3 Likes
Hi Tom and thanks .Yes you’ll feel it too having no family there it’s really hard having to do everything now and no family to lend a hand or just give you a hug and not been there to enjoy my young grandchildren. It’s sometimes hard to hear when other people are telling you about lovely times they have spent with their families .Would you ever consider moving bk to be nearer your family .
2 Likes
I’m glad for you that it is possible especially when your getting older it’s just a lonely existence now .I’ve looked at small.studio apartments and still way to much money even renting i dont think would be possible hope it works out for you .
2 Likes
Hi Hope I don’t suppose your children have a big enough garden for one of those mini garden homes. I did think about moving but my only option would be my sister and would feel like I’m imposing plus no guarantee they will stay in one place.
Wishing you all the best Tom
2 Likes
Yes Tom they have land but they said the wouldn’t be able to get planning permission and you would need planning permission so I’ve looked into everything tbh with no luck so it’s so hard on top of losing my partner to deal with .So struggle to find any positives. Take care
2 Likes
manb, i do hope you have managed today the best you can.You are so brave trying to put positive energy into the road ahead.I do hope everything works out for you on your move.It really is a hard path we find ourselves on but all we can do is our best.Its so true about trying to get jobs done now we are on our own, before there were two of us to sort things out now its just us.As many of us are finding just as one job is sorted something else crops up, its one thing after another,then its finding trustworthy, reliable people, there are so many cowboys and scammers out there.I have found a recomendation from neighbours or work colleagues can be a good way.Take care.
3 Likes
thanks @brummy i have coped better today than i did a few days ago,im trying to switch off from”house stuff”now and get ready to go to the algarve at the end of the week,the friend im going with has a multitude of problems in her life,but we have made a pact,we will chat through on thursday evening and no mention again for 7 days,its exhausting otherwise,not what i need right now! i appreciate your message and kind words . mandy
3 Likes
thanks tom,appreciate your kind words . mandy
1 Like
Dear Hope I am so sorry to hear that, I wish I could think of something to help. Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
1 Like
Thanks Tom you are kind hope you sleep well tonight 
1 Like
Hi Pat. John left 2yrs ago next week quite suddenly we had no warning. He stared to slur his speech so we took him to hospital where he was diagnosed with 3 brain cancers. They gave him 3months. But after a fall in hospital banging his head on a door jam he had a brain bleed and he left us around 5weeks later. I brought him home because the hospital said there was nothing they could do for him. I still live in the same house we lived in since 1976. I have 3 siblings but they fell out with me when dad died in 1998 and have spoken since even though they all know about John. Where I live most people work so I don’t see anyone for days. John took early retirement so we were together all the time for the last 15yrs. We didn’t need friends because we did everything together. The antidepressant I’m on at present is the maximum dose of Duloxetine. But I’ve had loads of different ones since dad died. So I’ve taken them for 28yrs but nothing really helps. I have one son I can rely on the other one lives over 200 miles away. I don’t want to be here anymore but can’t hurt the boys by leaving so I struggle through another day. Xxx Yvonne
7 Likes
Sorry it should say my siblings haven’t. Spoken to me for 28 yrs
3 Likes
Thank you, I know I’m lucky to have a few family members even if I don’t have kids. My 2 friends have been supportive too. That said I still feel as if my life has ended, there is no joy or hope. I’ve got worse since the 1sr anniversary on September 26th. I really don’t care about anything now. Take care.
6 Likes
Can I say I had been feeling the same after 1st anniversary the other week.
Two days ago I woke and it had lifted.
It hasn’t left me completely but it isn’t as intense.
Nothing had changed. It just happened.
I so hope you get a bit of this relief too.
Hugs x
5 Likes
Hi Norma. I feel like that most days, having to think what will I do today, whereas ,when Theresa was with me it was whatever she wanted to do, shopping or visiting I’m over seven months of losing her,still feels like a few weeks ago. Take care
6 Likes
@Absent weird,as today,the 1st day of my3rd year of widowhood i felt less tense,i think i may have said similar before as i tend to write frequently on here as i ride the roller coaster,and share my ever changing emotions,i would love to think this is a real step forward,i also feel more positive about selling/buying the house,my case is in the hall ready for the algarve,a much needed diversion,i am blessed., a day without tears too. …long may it last,having the feeling that a little weight has lifted from my shoulders,not sure why ,trigger factors are not always a reason for any of our emotional changes. the unexplained footsteps on this path. good night and virtual hugs to all
6 Likes
Hi Mandy
Have a good change of scene and warm yourself in the sun with friends
Wishing you calm and fun mixing new memories with the old xx
1 Like
Hi Yewtree
It’s a hard road for you being so isolated
You have got this far
I have been there - just kept going for my children It takes courage One day at a time as they say you have said about some of your better days and I hope they will break up this hard time for you And you have let your sense of humour peek through now and then
Best wishes xx
3 Likes