Me too but I’m trying really hard to learn how to do things he did. I am going to buy a wooden bench in a park he loves with his name on .David died without any prior war with a heart attack and I found him on the bedroom floor such a shock
Take here to chat whenever
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PHM and Jojan. yes the shock of unexpected,in my case police at the door, he had a cardiac arrest out walking,they said it was toxicity from the new chemo.8 months ago like you PHM . every week there seems to ne a new hill to climb,the “firsts”. Jojan i have done some basic DIY,i quite enjoyed it,its do it or get somebody in,and i have found there a few things i can do,good therapy too. you may seen on here that roses are quite a popular memorial,ive gone down that route for his upcoming 80th. they have planted some roses,put up a bench in the campsite where we had our caravan,we used it all year for the last 11 years,so i was humbled when this happened. take care everybody.
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How kind we had a static caravans in the Lake District many years ago but when my girls reached teen years they had no interest so we sold up regret up ground rent insurance etc was very costly
I would like to learn to do basic carpentry as my partner was brilliant at fixing things he had a fine arts degree and was very clever
My husband was a skilled coach builder, which means he was excellent at woodwork, metal work, and upholstery. He could also turn his hand to most anything needed in the home. We never ever needed to get anyone in to do any work in the home or garden. Now it’s just me and I worry all the time about what I will do as and when I need work doing. Finding good, honest tradesmen is a minefield!
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My husband was extremely handy did all woodwork diy I struggle to do some things but have a go at lots but I have got a gardener who does other stuff too as my husband took great pride in his garden
yup,i sold up because i couldnt warrant the ground rent,that ££ can be used for other excursions,i miss the place, luckily we acquired lots of local friends so i still am able to visit,stay over,my happy place by the sea,it has proved a great tonic over the last few months.
ahh,adrian was not "handy man"we had somebody in for almost everything,but the shed is full of “stuff”,you know the expresion,“all the gear,no idea”. so im having a go,my father and grandfather were perfectionists when it came to anything, "handy"i watched and remembered,albeit life time ago.
HONEST tradesmen,somebody who wont fleece a vunerable lady, being quite rural im lucky,everybody knows/related too somebody “who does”
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i did carpentry(basic)at night school when my son was a baby,a "night out"and being grand daughter of a cabinet maker i felt very much at home handling wood and the tools,45 years ago,im still willing to give it a go if needed,i still have some of his and my fathers tools,i think i may need to get somebody in to correct my mess !!!
That’s lucky. I have every tool imaginable in his shed, and I mean EVERY tool. Right now I’m attempting to keep his garden up to scratch, even though it’s small, it was his pride & joy and he even won prizes for it - I can’t match his standards!
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I read somewhere, regarding jobs your partner used to do. Think it’s not that I can’t do it, just I don’t know how to do it yet.
I was in the Netherlands visiting our son. I’d just read a story to our four year old grandson and noticed I’d missed six calls. The police. They didn’t want to tell me over the phone until I insisted. My husband, a gardener, had been found dead by his clients. Life changes in an instant.
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OMG ,yes,the blink of an eye,i still get a wobble when i hear lots of blue light/sirens near our house
the fight against weeds,they grow before my eyes!..im sure you can keep it looking good,if not exactly “perfect”. as for tool shed,makes me chuckle,adrian bought all this stuff,never used, never knew how really, but “just in case it could be handy”. . bit like buying clothes in M&S…may be handy next summer/winter,he was never a boy scout,but was “prepared!”
Problem is my husband used every single tool. He looked after them, maintained them in tip top condition, kept everything sharpened to within an inch of its life, and now they are just sitting there doing nothing. I haven’t got a clue what to do with them all - 3 sheds full!
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John has a double garage so you can image how full that is. He did everything around the house himself . I had abad day today. I left my bus pass at home.so had to pay bus fare. Then i realised i had forgotton my phone. Trying to get home again was difficult no taxis anywhere. So i had to wait 3/4 hour for bus. When i got home i hit me how i hadn t appreciated all John did. Normally i would just phone him and just say " John can you come and get me " He’d ask where i was and come straight away and pick me up. Now there’s no one there. The bus only comes once an hour and there s no taxis anywhere. There’s no John either. I miss him so much. I can’t manage without him and i’m sick of trying. X
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@Yewtree
It’s the most difficult thing in the world, to lose that one and only very special unique person… your soulmate 
The person who truly loved you and cared about you and you could depend on 100% without any doubt or fear, come rain or shine.
When you’re just living your life, it’s easy not to appreciate all the everyday little things… because there’s no way of knowing that everything you know and hold dear is going to be taken from you in the blink of an eye.
I’m sorry that I don’t have any answers or advice but I do have complete understanding, believe me.
I don’t know why life has to be so cruel and unfair. I’m struggling too 
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So beautifully put and with complete empathy.
Awake at 5 am and living with a broken heart.
I find it so frustrating when I am with friends who I have known for more than forty years and they always seem to be moaning about everything, , especially their husbands ! I find it hard to just listen to them and think to myself what I would do for just five more minutes with my husband…
My dear Nigel and I adored one another and I suppose the difference was we had both been widowed at a young age and really appreciated every moment we spent together.
Take care of yourself.
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It is really tiring. My car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I coped, eventually, after I stopped crying but everything appears more momentous when you can’t off load to your partner. And, yes, I listen to friends making holiday plans and think, I hope you both make it! I’m unraveling the plans my husband and I had made. Sending care to all in here.
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Your John sounds exactly like my husband. He did everything around the house too, and would take me where ever I wanted to go, and, with no complaint come & pick me up again. It’s exhausting trying to manage without him.
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