@Peter11
Good Morning Peter.
Sounds like a bit of a rough time for you just now which you really don’t need
People need to be wary after losing someone they absolutely loved and after being together for a long time.
We cannot ever replace what we’ve lost with the same because it’s impossible and we are vulnerable…
If your new relationship is complicated then it’s not meant to be and you should shut it down and move on.
There could possibly be another woman out there for you who you can just enjoy life with so why waste time with one that isn’t making you happy…
As you know life is precious and too short.
I really wish you well
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i did it…had a mini party for his 80th yesterday, our son appeared,unannounced,he drove down from bristol to be with me,so there were 4 of us sat in the garden for 6 hours! i was too shocked to cry when he walked through the door,but i made up for it when he went to bed,cried myself to sleep,today i feel a tired,emotional wreck,. my daughter in law told me today that he had a couple of sad days and wanted to be here,he left at 05.30,2 hours drive ,home to see the boys off to school.
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Hi lost my husband to cancer in january 2023 but am really struggling i am 54 but he was my soul mate we did everything together didn’t need anyone else but now i don’t know what to do
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we have all heard the phrase"time heals"…but i have my doubts if “heal” is the right word,we learn to live with the void in our lives. do you go out with friends/family,belong to “clubs”. i see friends,but i dont "do"things,maybe i should,im not ready(9 months)its never been "my scene"so i cant see myself starting now(im 72).maybe you feel the same? you are young,i presume you work? i hope you find some answers soon,its been a long time, wish you well
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Hi I lost my Husband in September 2022. We had been together since I was 15. It is nearly 3 years now & I find every day a struggle still. I am a lot older than you I am now 77. I really feel for you as at least we had 60 years together. I think the same as manb that time does not heal you just have to take each day as it comes & hope that one day you will wake up feeling that you can go on. I shut myself away for many months as I could not face anyone but that was a mistake. Too much time to think. I am trying now to go out with my family when I can. I do not drive and waiting for knee replacement so cant go out for walks until I have had the op. I hope you have Family & friends you can lean on, even if it`s not the same as having the one person you need. This is a great forum & some great people on here that know exactly how you feel. hope to speak to you soon. Take care x
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@Nightwish1 this is exactly me i am 54 and the thought od of 20+ years wirhout my husband breaks my heart it is not something i ever envisioned
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Yes, it’s strange,even though i am younger then Sue, i thought i would go first as she seemed fitter then me and stronger.
23 weeks 24 tomorrow, i went to the doctors yesterday, nothing serious she just likes to see hiw i am doing. After losing my Dad on Christmas day then Sue 30 days later. I have had a bad couple of weeks, let down by people who i thought i could count on, did some 1st. The doctor wants me to go back to counselling as for some reason. I don’t understand my support has gone. I know people move on and it’s different for us . I think the reality is starting to hit home, nobody’s been to see me since my wife’s funeral in February. The only time i speak properly to people is the bereavement coffee morning. I have to ring people. Here’s to another long weekend. Take care
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I think because we are on the younger side of losing someone people’s expectation are for us to just get on with life but it doesn’t work like that and they don’t understand if i didn’t have my daughter and granddaughter i dont know what i would do
I am 17 mths without andrew and i suddenly realised this is now my life ans it is scary. Have a good weekend always hwew ro chat
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Nightwish1
I can really understand what you mean let down by people you thought you could count on, i feel the same.Since my dear wifes funeral hardly any contact from anyone,no phone calls nothing.Only time i see people is work which i have to do to pay the bills,and shopping for just me then seeing couples everywhere.There is no bereavement cafes locally unfortuatly,no support at all.Like yourself i have to ring people.Its a horrible life we have now,not a life just an existance.I was so sorry about you losing your dad too.I often think what have we done to deserve all this grief and pain?Take care have a good a day as you can.
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Hi brummy,
It is crap how, you can go from blissfully happy to the worst feelings and time of your life.
We lose our soul mates and we lose are selves. Take care
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I ring people as well but it makes me feel like a nuisance damned if i do ans dammed if i don’t. Their lives go on and ours dont
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reading through todays comments,theres a bit of a theme…contacts,or lack of them,i have been quite “gob smacked"by those who i thought would be there for me,“you should ring”…no,i dont phones for “bit of a chat” thats why i like it on here,can off load without being heard in tears,if somebody is concerned then surely they make the first move? when the boot was on the other foot,i made great efforts to support friends,just checking in online/mail/fb .messenger , so thankful for the few that do keep my spirits up,maybe best to have small but genuine people in our lives than those who made half hearted attempts at the very beginning then gave up.shelley got it right"damned if you…”. no plans this weekend,dont like empty weekends,none of do,its going to very hot too. keep in touch everybody. x
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thank goodness for this forum,nobody abandons you on here… strangers are friends we are yet to meet.
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Shelleyrat70
Thats exactly how i feel.At my dear wifes funeral people said i will keep in touch now nothing apart from a cousin who seems to have stopped too.I am literally all alone we had no children and i have no brothers and sisters.My wife has a sister but her mental state is very poor after having a brain hemmorage.As you say their lives goes on and ours doesnt.Take care
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manb
I agree entirely what you said about people contacting us.Its literally non existant for me.Thank goodness for this site and the lovely understanding people on here.Take care
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It is very difficult when you have no one. It is my 80th birthday today and i got off to a bad start.came downstairs but there were no Happy Birthday banners all over the doors or hanging up. John forgot to get me a card or maybe he couldn’t. I was thinking this time last year we were happy.No idea John would be diagnosed with 3 brain cancers in August and gone by 19th October. I did get some nice cards from the boys and their families. So I’m feeling a bit better. The emptiness won’t go away though and i still feel.suicidal occasionally. Then everyone can carry on with their own lives without me constantly being sad and dragging them all down. Xxxxxx keep fighting for as long as you can .
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Hi @Yewtree just want to send birthday thoughts to you x
Hi Shabelabob. Thank you for your good wishes. It means the world to know people actually care. I wish you only happy thoughts.
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Happy belated birthday yewtree.
belated happy 80th @Yewtree from mandy,part of your Sue Ryder family x