aww @Shabelabob ,you are doing so well at 4weeks,i cant imagine having gone back to work,can you do phased return or WFH? and you are young,my heart goes out to you .im at 9 months now,a few of us on this forum are at a similar phase(and similar age) on the roller coaster, its good to enthuse about the better days,i hope it helps those who are not doing so well,there is a glimmer of light,the grief may lay heavy in our hearts but the face gets braver! stay positive,and the days when reality hits like a tsunami will help you through.x
1 Like
Thank you so much @manb means a lot x
1 Like
Watching Rod Stewart at Glastonbury had me in tears. I arranged a surprise party for my husbandās 70th (9years ago!) with a fantastic Rod Stewart tribute. It was a fabulous, unforgettable night & watching RS at Glasto when he sang all those well known songs was bitter sweet. Iām 9 months in from losing him after 57 years of marriage so itās good to smile through the tears some times.
3 Likes
@Abbiesnan ā¦keep smiling throughā¦ mandy x
1 Like
I so enjoyed that Rod concert from my sofa gave me a lift as it was my birthday first year without my husband
I too lost him 9 months ago and married for 57 years x
1 Like
We have a lot in common donāt we. My birthday is approaching on 11 July, it will be my first without my husband. These firsts are so tough arenāt they
2 Likes
@Pickle1 @Abbiesnan ,lots of us with june/july birthdays/wedding anniversaries,its 9 months today for me,but im concentrating on my āminiā 80th birthday for him on tuesday,the sun will be back by then,the rain has knocked his āyou are my sunshineā rose about i hoped it would look perfect for tuesday. have a nice day x
4 Likes
Isnāt it surprising how quite a number of us have birthdays in July . Iāll be 80 on 10th. I have nothing to celebrate though John has been gone for nearly 9months. But nothing has changed. His picture still faces the wall. I hope no one else wantās to celebrate. Some days I canāt be bothered to even have a wash because it takes too much energy. I never cook any more thereās no point. It seems a lot of people are able to go out now . Very good for them . I have no where to go . It is very hard trying to find a reason to get up. Iāve been trying to watch tennis but just fall asleep and miss most of it. Iāve been thinking of changing things but canāt. The leather 3 pce suite is 35 yrs old and the dye is rubbing off in places. John kept it nice because he liked it. I donāt. It has a heavy wooden frame and the upholstery just lifts out. I donāt remember the name of the shop. We bought it probably doesnāt exist any more I know it was made in Germany. How do I choose a new one all the shops appear to be on line so how do you know if theyāre comfortable by looking at pictures. Iāll probably keep the old one. Anyway good luck to the people who are managing this horrendous time. Much sympathy and strength to those who like myself see no end to it. Xxx
4 Likes
I understand how you feel totally. I donāt see any point to my life without Roger. It is our wedding anniversary and the first time we have not been together. I miss him so very much. I find it an effort just to get up and out of bed too. Please look after yourself
Kate
3 Likes
kate,i had total melt down on our 48th wedding anniversary 2 weeks ago,probably the worst i have been in the last 9 months,its only in the last week that i have picked myself up,and started to re-climb that mountain,"come on ol gal"i say to myself! .take care. mandy
2 Likes
Thank you x
1 Like
Why donāt things improve.?. Every time I think Iām feeling not too bad. Something comes along and knocks me backwards again back to day it happened. No one has given me an overwhelming argument to try any more. 9 months is a long time trying to find a reason. I think Iāve had enough with no John to help and guide me through this minefield of emotions. If youāre not a wimp like me. I wish you better days ahead. Good Luck. Xxx
3 Likes
Yewtree, i am afraid itās part of grief. One minute you seem ok, the next you are crying again. Anything can send us into another spiral. You know i wish i could say the right words to you to everyone on here. I am 57 and the thought i might have 20+ years without my beautiful wife, is very painful and fills me full of dread. I am trying to do things but i am failing miserably. I think i can do this or that,but when i try i canāt do it. I have to rely on buses because i donāt have the confidence to drive. Yet for some unknown reason we get up and keep going. So please look after yourself and take care
4 Likes
I cant think of words for those of you who are not doing so well,we are all sailing the same storm,some of our ships handle better than others. I knew i was going to be widowed,we had time to talk about it a little,i know what he hoped of me,i do my best to ākeep goingā make him and our son proud of me,yes,it hurts like hell living with a broken heart,i suppose it always will,i just hope the pain lessens as i get used to living my life with the void,im going to do it,i told him i would,we made our vows 48 years ago,for me that includes the promises i made to him for after ātill death us do partā,it just came sooner than we expected. Dont give up.
5 Likes
Yes the first d are so hard
Have a good mini party x
2 Likes
Yewtree
I really understand what you are saying.My dear wife passed in february.I have gone back to work and thats the only reason i find for getting up.I often wonder what i am working for?just to pay the bills now.Like everything else in this so called life we now lead before my wife passed i worked for āusā now it all seems so pointless.Everything in my life now is so empty and lonely,only cousins family wise and they hardly phone now.I have had the tennis on-my wife enjoyed watching Wimbledon.As you say very good to the people that are able to go out now.I just go for work and a bit of shopping thats when i feel like eating.We did everything together, now its just me alone on this seems like never ending road.I have tried but there seems no end to it.Take carexx
5 Likes
Brummy. Saw this and thought of you.
Those we love donāt go away, they walk beside us everyday. Unseen, unheard but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear.
6 Likes
Rob05
Thank you for those lovely words.Thank you for thinking of me too
4 Likes
already having a wobble,tears,about tomorrows āmini partyā,maybe tomorrow when i get stuck into food prep and faffing around i may feel betterā¦fingers crossed!
3 Likes
Hello @Johnr
Just seen your post and can relate to it completely.
Iām lonely after 25 years of a good marriage and another 6 years of awfulness when she got dementia and died almost 2 years ago.
Please donāt do what Iāve just done and fall for the first person who shows you some affection after being without it for so long. Itās hard work!! And complicated.
Iām thinking of chucking it all in as itās wearing me out with its complications.
Peter
5 Likes