Well done I hope you had some smiles too
I went to our cafe yesterday and held my head up high - I’ve been very loved and still am by my family
It worked and I had a nice chat with two young women who had dogs in kilts !! X
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yes,lots of smiles,all the village kids were very excited as santa was out after the carols,dogs in sparkly coats and “antlers”…no kilts!! it was an “overdose of affection” and the music that got to me yesterday,but we are lucky,as you say,very loved. x
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im sat here counting the days till i go to family,counting the days till this year is over. @Andy63 you are off to Lanzarote,i hope that works for you and your son,it sounds a very good idea,a friend whos wife died in early august has done exactly the same thing. wish you all well over the next week or so. take care all,do your best,we do it for ourselves,those we have lost,we do it our way. x
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hello everybody,how “did it go?” im just back from 5 days with family,it was TOUGH,so much more than last year,this is reality v shock,not nice,my daughter in law and i had a couple of meltdowns together,she could see there was something wrong,my son didnt ask,i think he would have found it tough dealing with mothers emotions. so im home for couple of days,going to stay with a friend in “my happy place” 31st and 1st. very very low key,but i wont be alone,i will be by the sea. love to all x
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Christmas has been better than i thought it would be.been busy with family feeling flat today but overall i got through it trying not to overthink it
Out with family for a meal new years eve
My daughter is going home new years day so i expect the sadness will descend xx
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hello everybody,another year ends,no !magic switch”will make our lives easier tomorrow,for some of you it will be the “year of firsts”for the rest of us we plod on trying to pick up the pieces,hoping living with this huge void will get better,im sure it will. i had a “good period” middle of this year,full of positivity,but the roller coaster started to dip faster than it rose,i had no idea how cruel “reality grief”was. I have been communicating with you all, my S.R. friends for almost 12 months now,a place where you are never alone,thank you all for being on this page,may we continue to share the ups and downs…hope a few more ups,positivity is good . today iam going to my “happy place”by the sea for 2 days,hahha,i say “happy place”it makes me emotional as the ties with Adrian are huge,happiest times in our 50 years together,i call it “happy sad”. love to all xx
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Thank you Mandy
Yes plodding on - yes it’s good to remember the positive days
Then I’m suddenly frightened that I’m letting Paul go
I just think I don’t have to understand - It’s bigger than I could ever have imagined this grieving
But I’m thankful for all the support I have and especially this S R group
I know our hearts will continue to ache but I wish all some consolation and kindness in the new year xx
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For some reason the end of the year doesn’t mean anything but I can say it’s been the worst one of my life so I’m glad to say goodbye to it.
It will still hurt that John isn’t with me and I’m very tearful today just remembering our New Years Eves.
I’ve had a few good months feeling as though I was on the ‘ better ‘ side but I feel very sad just now and trying desperately to pull myself back on track.
Everyone on this forum has helped each other just by texting and giving their stories so grateful thanks to all.
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Think im turning my phone off later .going to get through it not thinking too much .
Thinking about you all feeing same as me xx
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I don’t doubt that we are doing the same, just plodding along. Somedays you may feel as I do , one step forward and then the next day you slide back down the mountain we are climbing. I suppose , as we all seem to feel pretty much the same, that this is the natural way to feel after a great loss. At least we acknowledge how we feel and can express it on here, knowing that we are listed to and understood. Some people, in public anyway, appear as though they are coping so much better than I am, but I do wonder whether we are the ones who are really coping more than we realise by admitting to ourselves and to our friends on here how feel. So after waffling on I would just like to say that I hope that 2026 may be a calmer and peaceful life for us all. If anyone needs to chat this evening I shall be online with a glass of sherry or wine in hand .
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You never lose them they are why you are the person you are so you carry them with you for the rest of your life you cannot love someone so much and just forget them we simply learn to cope with the loss and try to move forward without them its what they would want for you not to be mourning and in emotional turmoil for the rest of your days i carry my wife in my head and my heart and always will but she is not here anymore and she would be disgusted with me if i just gave up so i keep walking and remarkably am making good progress i do realise i have had 7 years to get my head around this but its certainly possible to move forward good look in doing that to everyone
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Mitzi1
I agree with you, the end of the year doesnt mean anything , but like yourself it has been the worst year of my life, i will sure be glad to see the end of it.for many of us on here its been truly awful.the coming year cannot be any worse but it will be my year of firsts.There have been many tears today for me too.We had many happy new year Eves.it really is a rollercoaster this grief road we are al on.
Everyone on here has been so kind and understanding , you have helped me so much.I honestly dont know what i would do without the SR site.
I hope the coming year will bring us all some peace and comfort.Take care.
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I’m sorry I’m so late wishing you all A Happy New Year. But I couldn’t get out of bed today. I would like to wish myself a happy new year but I know nothing will change. I’ve been struggling all last year to accept I’m alone. Nothing has changed since John left. I’ve tried to put on a brave face over Xmas while family were here for a few days. The house is empty again. I have had people trying to help me but nothing has worked. I can’t get out much and don’t really want to do anything. There’s no future i care about and it seems no one can help me. Xx
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Hi yewtree I too live alone only been in this bungalow for three years to make life easier for my wife as she struggled with the stairs, it is different for everyone I have been dealing with my grief ever since she was diagnosed as inoperable and incurable for over 7 years living month by month blood test and scan to blood test and scan knowing if the tumours started growing again significantly they would stop the treatment which they did about two years ago it still hits like a sledgehammer but our partners would not want us in endless torment they loved us and wanted us to be happy in our remaining years my wife would be appalled at me if I gave up she cared too much for me and wanted me to keep a watchful helpful eye on our children which is what I aim to do, it takes time but use the better days when you do not feel as low to do something or join a club even just go for a walk it helps and then hopefully you will end up with more good days than bad, you learn to live with the grief you never stop loving them they are a part of you and shaped who you are now, I sincerely hope you get better days but do it in your own time and at your own pace we are people one cap doesn’t fit us all, good luck for the coming New Year
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Thank you for your reply I appreciate it. What I struggle with most is the fact John left me so soon. He was diagnosed with brain cancer then 4 weeks later he had a fall in hospital and he was gone. I still can’t deal with the sudden loss and don’t want another year like last year. Xx
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Yewtree, we are still here,have you tried counselling, it could be worth a try. I know you like me have to use public transport. The weather has turned so it makes it harder, yet we keep going. I hope can find the motivation.
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I feel so sad that some people started on this uphill road later than me but seem to be managing and coping a lot better. I don’t have many friends as it was just the two of us for the last18rs. And I don’t drive to get out and about and meet new people xx
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Dear Yewtree
It is so hard I don’t think the coming year will be the same I imagine some days will be as bad and some won’t
We do know that our loved ones would hate to see us suffer but there is No way of knowing when the overwhelming sorrow will lessen and let us be more balanced day to day
It’s good to hear that people are trying to help you It will gradually make a difference Take all that is offered and hope for the best in the next week or two
Please eat and drink as best you can as part of keeping yourself well even if you don’t care
Keep posting on here We’re here for each other xx
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It is soo difficult I haven’t moved on only worst soo lonely without my beautiful man really is groundhog day he was ripped away from.me in the most horrific way cancer is evil trust me you are not alone they say if you love hard you grive hard
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Maxandlala
You had such an terrible experience but we’re with him to the end As I was thankfully with my Paul
It’s very hard and we experience it so acutely it’s no wonder it lasts so long xx
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