Just checking in to see how you are.
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To be honest I am not great. I try hard to put a brave face on but the tears when I am alone just keep flowing. Thank you for your support and understanding. Itās hard and hurtful when some people seem to drift away as though you are infectious even when I do try to appear ok. Thank goodness there are people like yourself who understand and are prepared to help even though they are also suffering.
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It is a constant struggle Phil.
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Itās a difficult path we are on but we can only keep trying but also give in to our tears. Itās a natural response
It will never go away but for me personally it has got easier because I have been determined to carry on, but thatās just me.
Months back I looked in the mirror and didnāt recognise the face and because I am vain and donāt mind admitting it 
I decided that John would certainly not like seeing me as I was, so had to try and pull myself together. Not an easy feat but like I say it has got easier but I think itās helped because I got myself a rescue cat and I think heās rescued me..
I really hope that the weekend isnāt too bad for you and Iāll check in again soon..
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I agree at some point we do have to pull ourselves together ..i think i did this abit last year but since new year i have struggled, but i will get there im only 61 and i want to enjoy my life but cant get myself out of this at the moment .i am getting out of bed though lol x
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Yes at 61 you must try to live your life. I was widowed when I was young and believed my life was over but I had 3 sons. I met a widower and we had 24 very happy and contented years together. I have found it so much harder at 80 to find the strength to live each day. So, what I am trying to say is whatever path life takes you down you are far too young to not live your life however you wish.
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Thank you 
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i remember thinking you were doing well,as i was, then i nose dived,i hope im on the up again x
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It is definitely a rollercoaster. One day up, two if you are lucky, then back down again. Hopefully the ups will exceed the downs at some point for you. I think itās a case of learning to live with the sorrow rather than āgetting over itā like a dose of flu. Sending hugs to all my friends on here.
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me too,always was going to try and keep going,not only did i loose adiran,but i lost āmeā i was the positive motivated lady,im so pleased with myself most of the time,maybe i have got used to the roller coaster/tears.. i think he would be pleased too,he would hate me loosing my mojo,x
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thats right beryl,we have to live on this roller coaster,no choice,we get used to the ups and downs,this is our life,and we are all here together on SR. X
You lose everything ,your life as you know it ..we had a lot a couple friends they are still there but just for a visit and a coffee .
They want you to still meet up but that is so hard ,ā the empty Chair ā
Im usually a postive person too ,but sometime you cant put a face on x
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No,i dont think passing of time yet makes an enormous amount of difference,im 15 months,done the 1sts,and 2nd christmas,which i found harder than the 1st,i put it down to reality,im not getting hit by the tsunamis now,but the roller coaster can still be a tough ride,but i need to get my motivation,positivity back,and find it a bit easier to pick myself up,so no magic fix,but im learning to live with what life has dealt me,theres quite a lot of chat on here today,and some positivity,which is good.always good to share experiences,especially good ones!
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You are right about time and reality setting in. I thought I was prepared mentally for Christmas and Nigelās birthday this week as it was second time around but I was very wrong. The previous year I was living life in a complete fog. Saturday afternoonās are not great which may be why there seems to be a lot of chat today. Everyone else seems to have something to do or somewhere to go. So may I suggest we all raise a hot drink or maybe a glass to one another !! 
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yup,weekends can be empty,most friends are couples,and thats their weekends time together. i have a cup of lemon and ginger tea as i type,so cheers to all our SR friends. tomorrow when i get to lanzarote i shall raise a glass,and when i get back i shall check in with you all. take care everybody
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I think likening our plight to a rollercoaster is spot on and I assume the bumps will get smoother as the ride goes on.
Feeling a little more positive today and I am sure it is partly due to the sun being out for the first time in an absolute age. I never thought that SAD, was actually a thing
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hi tony,im flying out to lanzarote tomorrow,lets hope the sun stays out,this is my 3rd trip out there since my husband died 15 months ago,but this is my 1st solo trip,my family,friends are right behind me in support,it doesnt hold emotional ties as adrian wasnt a ābeach holidayāfan,i have been out there with friends for many years,so familiar territory(same hotel)i hope will be a drop of winter tonic. im sure SAD is real.
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It is encouraging and uplifting to read that you and others are forging a new future, lots of respect to you as I am sure it takes a lot of effort.
Hope you have a great time and as a bonus when you return there will be a little more daylight each day.
I was glad when the 22nd Dec came, I am sure the nights drawing out will be a boost to many of us
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I have always been frightened with the wind since l was young and still the same hope you have a lovely time away take care xx
thanks di,yesterday the winds had dropped by late afternoon,so i had some sleep. im looking forward to some sun,and being away from reality,OK,got to come home,and things will be the same on return,but everyday closer to spring,and hopefully the roller coaster slowing,becoming more manageable. x
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