Dear Norma. So very sorry for your loss. It’s hard enough at the best of time but specially so when the loss is sudden and unexpected. You keep hoping it’s not true even though deep down you know it’s true. You will find your partner keeps popping up in the most unexpected places even after a year I’m not really getting more used to an empty and quiet house.I’m afraid there’s no quick fix All you can do now is try and make new memories. It’s so very very hard but time will help you through and the crying will eventually ease a little. Just take things very slowly and don’t give up when a good day is followed by a sad one. Some people manage very well but there are those like myself who have to try and realise non of this is your fault. Things you didn’t do or say aren’t your fault. Your partner knew how much you loved them. Keep remembering that. They did know ! Hoping the road you must travel is a little easier. Love and understanding are sent to you. Xxx:sob:
To those of you who need a bit of a friendly greeting On this Sunday Hello from the Isle of Wight
I have to believe that The tears will be less often 
And the smiles will come more often But for today just to say I’m thinking of you like me - sometimes staggering on and sometimes looking like you’re doing ok xx
redsquirril25
Thank you for those welcome words - much appreciated.
I struggle on a daily basis but Sundays are particularly hard. So reading your post really gave me a boost.
Sending much love and appreciation 
BSA
Ah thank you that’s bucked me up too xx👋
You are so right about Sundays being hard. Most other people are involved with family and Sunday has always been a special day in my life because it was the one day that we could slow down a bit, but now it seems to have come to a complete standstill. Thank you for your good wishes and I hope each step you take , even when you would rather not, in some small way helps you to find a way to cope with the very different life we all find ourselves in on here.
im back from my little trip to lanzo,first of all it was good to see lots of chat on here,all supporting each other @Redsquirril25 i was taken aback by your post,but i suppose it something we have a;; learnt…you soon find out who your friends are.thank goodness for SR. this time last week i felt quite elated,confident in how i was getting on having made the solo trip,the sun was shing on and off. people were lovely,they chatted,but not in your face,nobody asked details about my husband,it was “comfortable” then on thursday the wobble came,i struggled to go down to dinner,but i went,kept quietly to myself,engaged in polite conversation when required.and the wobbles,little tear fests continued(in private). i was ready for home ,i thought,but now im home,empty house syndrome, i wish i was on my sun lounger away from reality,no pleasing me is there! so im plodding through my list of chores for the week,at the weekend im going down to the coast “happy place”i need the company,was dreading weekend here on my own,as we have all said weekends are the worst, and i have to remember i cant escape all the time,being alone days/wkends are all part of our lives now,its been a reality check,oh well,onwards and upwards.
Welcome back Manb!
You did wel to hold it all together Also you are an encouragement to try things out of our comfort zone ( which isn’t particularly comfortable a lot of the time anyway )
My daughter joined me for an anniversary on Saturday and she cried with me -At last I felt connected
Actions do speak louder than words at times
And the same on here
Yes the words help a lot - the recognition and validation
But the act of connecting on here means a lot xx
Im just on my way home from ambelside .my first solo trip .im not saying it was easy .eating in a restauarant is the hardest .
But ive done it and i will go again .im sure it will get easier x
yup,i found that too,but after day one the couple of the next table struck up conversation at dinner, breakfast and lunch tended to be loan feasts,so i didnt linger, a couple of people i had struck up regular conversation with did come and say bon voyage as i was leaving,but i didnt exchange details for further contact with anybody, despite ”please come back next year”they are all regulars,staying 3-6 weeks during jan/feb.not for me i dont think ,my trip was purely to prove to myself i still had confidence and motivation using a place i knew.
Ambleside was one of mine and John’s favourite places to ride out to and that was where we were getting ready to go to on 6/3/25 when he suddenly took poorly and was gone an hour later…
I haven’t been back but I intend to one day..
Its hard isnt it , prrfer company but going with friends can be a bit much too.
Im lucky my daughter can do a few trips with me.
It hasnt helpsed ive had a sore throat all weekend and can hardly talk .ive booked the week off work to chill .
Was the weather nice in lanzerote ? X
Ambelside is lovely but we used to go to windermere. So this trip was more about me .i satyed in spa hotel so u could spend time in pool and nice hotel .but that meant i didnt really venture too far x
I went the cinema on my own while i was there ..which was nice .easier than eating alone x
Its a big step to do things on your own so full marks, i used to go to the cinema a lot with my wife the fact you can lay back in the new recliner seats was comfortable for her for a while and its something i also do now you feel like you have done something and with the right movie you forget about things for a while a local pub/ restaurant now know me quite well i try to go twice a week the staff are pleasant and always talk its not the same as having company but its pushing yourself to re-engage with society i personally have been in a bubble for over 7 years and i dont intend staying in one baby steps but still steps in the right direction take care everyone
the weather was up and down,bit like me,i felt ok when the sun shone,feel good factor! x
I agree about being in a bubble, since colin passed away ive just gone through the motions,wen i go out of my comfort zone it feels strange .
I envy you being able to just go in a pub and chat to someone ..ive been surrounded bycouples all weekend
I understand when you say it is difficult being out of your comfort zone. I don’t think I have ever felt so alone in my whole life, even when I am amongst other people. I find being amongst other couples very hard and I am crying inside whilst trying to put on a brave face. It’s not their fault and some are far more empathetic than others, but Nigel was far more outgoing than me and always gave me so much support because he knew how how much I lacked confidence.
Take care of yourself everyone .
It is hard being with couples , its the time i feel most alone .my husband was the more confident 1
Thank you very much for responding. It helps to know that I am not the only one and makes me feel less of a failure
Beryl1b,
You are not a failure, you are still going and trying. This new life is horrible and hard. Please look after yourself.