@Lonely hi lonely I’m exactly the same with sad films. I so wish we could all go back and do it all over again and not lose them. It was love at first sight and 2000 was the best year of my life because its when I met pauline. She really is the best part of me and life is nothing but empty without her and means nothing to me anymore. Apart from our pets I love them and they are a blessing and they help me keep going. As does pauline, I talk to her all the time as though she is still here. God I so wish she was. I have never known pain like this. Take care x
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I want to say something that will help your pain but I have no words because I know that feeling. I wake up with that feeling everyday but I get through it because that’s what we do. I’m further down that grief road, 2 years & the feeling your life is worthless alone does ease, I have to dig deep though most days. I have to focus on the happy memories we shared & not the memories we can’t make. Focus on the wonderful life we shared together & not the life ahead alone. The saying one day at a time is so true because I’ve got to 2 years, I don’t know how but I’ve done it. Sending you love & strength.
Take care x
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Thank you for the kind words.They all help. Michael x
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Yes the pain is on another level,I have lost parents and a Son who was only 28 but losing mu dear wife Judith has shattered me to the core.I talk to my wife all the time also ,I have her ashes with me in the lounge on the sette where she used to sit. I miss her so very much everyday. Michael x
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@Mickeyboy31 hi Michael I’m so very sorry for your loss and pain. It’s so heartbreaking and we miss them so much. I have suffered loss before also both my parents and various other people and pets. But losing pauline has broken me and there is no fixing that. But I keep on fighting through each day out of love for her and our pets. She made me a better woman and gave my life meaning. My thoughts are with you. Sending hugs x
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I hate seeing couples out enjoying themselves,laughing etc,get so jealous.It should be me and Judith but that has been taken from me by cancer.So many people being taken by this evil thing.Being left on your own is the worst thing in the world after you have been a couple for so long.It is horrendous.I am so angry at times.I hate this life so much.I just hope tonight is not like last night ,it was horrific,could not get to sleep through thinking too much.I had to get up at dawn and go out to the shops.This is not living a normal life anymore.We have been left to fend for our selves ,lonely and empty.I hate weekends as well,everyone has family to go and see ,we have nothing. Michael x
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Thank you so much . Michael x
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I’ve just come back from the football we both had season tickets & I’ve kept Derek’s going in his name, I go with his sister, it’s not the same but I can imagine him sitting next to me & he’d be happy I’m still going. It was really hard at first because we had the same seats for years but I did it, & it’s good to go with his sister Karen, they were very close & she has been a source of strength for me & she’s hurting too.
I do get very jealous of couples, like you say it brings it home when you’re out walking on your own, we always held hands or linked arms.
Got our nieces wedding coming up & that’ll be hard. It broke my heart when the invite was just addressed to me 
.
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I think I’m becoming a hermit I have lost all interest in going anywere or speaking to people
I used to be very socialable now I’ve lost my confidence I’m anxious all the time,my spirit is crushed since my husband husband passed away,I miss him so much the grief is so painful
Christine x
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Christine38
I completely understand what you are feeling. I was the bubbly outgoing one and I feel I am a completely different person now.
I don’t think I will know what happiness and joy is any longer.
My daughter got married in October and it was such a struggle. I thought I was going to be alright until we were just about to walk down the aisle and then the emotion hit me. It was awful and there are so many photographs of me trying not to cry. I feel I spoiled the photos. I got through it but that was about all.
Grief, sadness and pain have changed me forever.
No one even asked me to dance and I have a big family but I don’t think anyone knows how to be around me now.
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Hullia19
My husband passed away 17 weeks ago tomorrow and I hurt and miss him more every day it was unexpected and the grief is so painful
I understand you having to celebrate something without our loved ones,people who haven’t had the heartbreak of losing there husband/wife think time makes it easier,we were married 52yrs, our anniversary is on Monday I’m dreading it first time on my own
I am really struggling it’s so sad for us all
Take care
Christine x
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I know Monday will be so hard and your loss is so new.
My husband passed away during an operation nearly 2 years ago and nothing like that was expected to happen. He was only 57 and I have not found it to get easier as some people say,if anything I am finding it even more difficult. I don’t think I can accept it.
Do you have someone that you would want to be with on Monday? Or would you prefer to be on your own?
I am sure you have so many happy times to remember but that also makes it painful because you wanted more time to spend making more.
We were married for 36 years and it wasn’t long enough.
I believe they are with us in spirit and your husband will absolutely be by your side on Monday and always.
Sending love. Xx
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Hulia19
I’m going to be on my own on Monday I prefer this I think,I know how upsetting it will be,like you said hopefully Steve will be around me
I do have some wonderful memories but we still had plans for the future,life is so painful now,first time I’ve ever been on my own it makes me very anxious
So unfair we on here have to go through this awful heartbreak at least we know we are not on our own
Christine x
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Morning,It will be 17 weeks for me on Monday,my beautiful wife Judith passed away on 27th September at 215pm the day I will never forget ,the day I also died.Broken,alone,empty,I could go on ,this life now is nothing ,I have no future ,no hopes .Nobody knows what this is like uhtil it happens to them. We are all on this horrendous journey. Michael x
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Thank you so much for caring. Hugs to you as well. Michael x
Hi Michael
Took a sleeping tablet last night got a few ours sleep,I hate mornings the grief takes over as soon as I open my eyes
It’s our wedding anniversary tomorrow would have been 52yrs It’s going to be a heartbreaking day being on my own
It’s 17 weeks today that Steve passed away,I’m struggling bad again
Christine x
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Hi Christine
It hits me as soon as I wake up too. An overwhelming feeling of panic that my Rob is not here. December 15th he suddenly went. Really struggling at the moment and can’t stop crying. Feel absolutely broken.
So sorry for your loss too and that it’s your wedding anniversary tomorrow. There’s nothing I can say to help as I know how hard it’ll be but I’m sending love and hugs. xx
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Aww Sal3
So sorry you are struggling so much to,it really is the most painful,crushing,for us to have to continually go through
It’s still so hard to believe this heartbreaking life is now to be with us forever
We loved our loved ones so much will miss them forever it’s so sad for all of us going through this torment
Take care
Christine x
So sorry Christine send love to yoU it’s a hard journey we travel I was married 44years he was my other half miss him so bad lv annie x x
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I am struggling as well Christine,been trying to keep busy but no good it is still there.17 weeks tomorrow for my Judith,she was gone out of my life ,cannot quite accept it yet. Michael x
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