Tired and can't concentrate since my husband died.

I lost my lovely husband in April this year and I feel tired all the time. When I go to bed, I relive his time in hospital and the final weekend. I also seem to have lost the ability to concentrate on anything, even the telly.
I know its early days, but I just wondered whether anybody else felt this way.

1 Like

Yes, my hubby died 19/1/19, I relieve different parts of his final weeks on a daily basis
I can’t help it, also not being able to concentrate and being tired is part of the grief process, also I find I can’t remember stuff.Absolutley nothing prepares you for the mental and indeed physical affects on you from grief
You are certainly not alone x

1 Like

I lost my Harry in April too and like you relive those last precious days together. I also couldn’t concentrate even to watch my favourite soaps but it seems I can manage that now but don’t have any concentration or desire really to watch much else. I still don’t sleep well and today have been diagnosed with urticaria (skin problem) probably as a result of grief and stress. Just another thing to deal with along this awful journey we are all taking. I still take relief that whilst we are all at different stages in our journeys we all share the same struggles which makes me feel I’m not alone x

3 Likes

Thank you Lancashire Lass. Glad to know it’s not just me.
Best wishes. x

1 Like

You are right, although it’s truly awful for all of us, it helps knowing there are others who feel the same and understand the pain.
Many thanks for your reply.
Best wishes x

1 Like

I too lost my partner of almost 20 years this April 11th…

1 Like

Best wishes Jackie, thank you for your reply. X

My lovely husband also passed away suddenly this year in May. I too am on this awful journey trying to make sense of the past months. You are not alone. This support group helps me no end. So sorry for your loss. Take care. Sandra x

1 Like

Can’t concentrate, cant be bothered, surviving on little sleep. Always waking up early 5 am, going to bed is hard knowing I won’t be able to sleep, do all the rituals, read book but it’s just words, don’t know what the story line is at all. Nobody tells you how hard it really is, I resonate with you all. This grieving is all consuming.

Hi Princess Alice, funny you should write about your urticaria as I have unexplained itches , the last episode was burning and itching on my palms,have had rashes on my arms and chest , all down to grief. No one but no one can tell you how all encompassing bereavement is, physically, mentally ,I can honestly say I feel I am living in a nightmare x

It was 13 months last Wednesday when my husband passed away, just 38 hours after the consultant told me of the results of his tests, thankfully he didn’t know what he had and for that I shall be eternally grateful ,

It is still very early for you, fir the first few months I was in a constant dense fog, couldn’t concentrate on anything, would sit in the dark most evenings completely silent, still have many times like those earlier days, some days worse than others.

There’s no time limit on how long you grieve, just take it a day at a time, I do, some days can only manage a step at a time,

We are now facing a life none of us wanted to lead, we’re in a club none of us wanted to join. The people o here are marvellous and everyone knows what we’re all going through, we may alk be at different stages but the road we are all travelling is the same route.

post what you feel, post how you are coping or not as the case may be, many if not all will have at some stage experienced exactly how you are feeling or thinking.

Take care
Blessings
Jen☆

2 Likes

You are absolutely right, it is all consuming. Best wishes and thank you for your reply. :slight_smile:

Thanks so much Jen.
I do feel like i’ve been hit by a truck sometimes. Keep being told i’m doing amazingly well because i’m out and about with the dogs but inside, i’m truly dying.
I know i’ve said it in other messages but it definitely helps knowing there are others who know exactly what it’s like.
Thanks again xx

2 Likes

So sorry for your loss too Sandra. I’m so glad I found this site and all the lovely people on it. Best wishes Louise x

1 Like

I feel exactly the same, sometimes feel a right dope when I cannot concentrate and also remember things. For me it is over 2 years on, and still feel the same.

1 Like

Hi. I lost my husband October last year and even though I am coping a little better now I still find it hard to concentrate.
If people talk and talk i couldn’t tell you half what they said to be honest.
It’s a hard difficult lonely place to be .
I often think about my future!!! Which seems non exsistant at the moment. I wonder if in time I will meet someone else who will love me! Wether I am alone now for the rest of my life!!!
I feel trapped! Do I want to be alone the rest of my life? I am lonely even though I am never in and still work.
My only other option to put me out of my misery is to die with him yet I still have things to do and look forward to! So I don’t want to do that either!
To be honest I don’t know what I do want! I’m supporting a friend from this site who we text each other every day but it’s hard supporting some one you can’t see or speak to but because it gives us a bit of comfort we will carry on until we get through this awful situation none of us want to be in.
I hope I haven’t upset or offended any one it’s good to be able to tell people your true feelings.
Hope you all shine through this.
Sending love and hugs xxx

Hello Emily, I’m so sorry for the pain of grief that you’re living with. I read your post and I had to reply. You mentioned just three words that resonated so much with me. I to feel trapped!!! My lovely son died suddenly last year and part of me died with him. But I have a beautiful daughter who needs me and who I want to be here for. I have no partner. But I had always hoped that when I got the children raised I might be lucky and meet someone. Life just feels you another blow when you dare to hope. It’s difficult living without hope or a future and more so when you have to live without your child. But we have to keep going. As you rightly say the only other option is to die to and none of us really want that either. Your never really alone Emily, your husband will always be close by. Take care xx

Some days I am on the ball and can get my mind focused and feel motivated to deal with the necessaries, the paper work, other days i just cant get myself motivated and those are the days I tell my Richard, that those are the days I dont want to go on anymore, i cant go on anymore, i just want it all to end, i want to be with him…

Dear Jackie,

I know that feeling so well. It’s hard to see past what we are going through at the moment. I don’t think people honestly have a clue what it’s like when you lose your partner.

I volunteer on our local park and work with a group of people who know when to let me have space or give me a hug. Being outside and around people who I know care has made a huge difference.
I put on a brave face for my kids but it’s a hard thing to keep up.

Just knowing that there are others, who know the awful reality of what we are going through makes it just a little easier to take.

With very best wishes Jackie. Stay strong.

Louise

Hi Emily,
I think that when my husband died apart from the fact that I was lost and devastated, I realised that I had absolutely nothing to look forward to. I have two kids who have left home and are truly amazing young people but the only word I felt when I thought and still think of the future is black. My life was about him and we were mates.
You are grieving, sorting life out and wondering whether that’s it…a widow at 58. I made a new will the other day and filling in the details about being a widow broke my heart.

Stay strong Emily. Please know that we may not know each other but by sending little bubbles of support, we are easing a teeny bit of the heartache.

With best wishes
Louse

Back to top