Thank you for the encoragement. Ive decided to take the plunge so am moving forward with buying the cottage. Im now in the middle of clearing out cupboards and boxing stuff up. Its a very good chain both ends so fingers crossed all goes ok. I need the change and the challenge. Its either do it now or vegetate for the rest of my life. Im 70 in August so need to make the most of life. I know my Graham would want me to be happy. Im going to have a ‘memory’ room in my new house which will hold all the things that are dear to me.
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Good luck with the move Hope u settle well in your new home I am sure your partner would have wanted you to be happy there.
Thank you. Im still bricking it - but there’s no going back!
Hi
Well done 
Whatever happens you will now definitely be moving forwards with your life. I love the idea of a physical space for all the memories. Very best wishes as you prepare for the move xx
Thank you.
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Help!! Ive got the contracts to sign and 3 weeks until move day. Im so terrified. Im putting off signing - why? Scared of making a mistake i guess. Missing my Graham’s strength and support. I have help from my lovely sister and her family but its the alone times. Starting my usual panic attacks again and feeling the pull of the home we shared together for so many years - though its not really felt like home since he died. Feeling desperately low though should be pleased - everyone says ‘oh how exciting’ and ‘well done’ but i just want to run and hide.
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Hello again @Erindoors I was wondering how things were going for you… wow, you’ve got to the sight of the finishing post. Don’t worry about having a little wobble now, this is surely to be expected and it’s very understandable. Put things into perspective, you’re moving forwards (the only way to go) and this move is part of your journey. It will be a change but you’re already surviving that, so deep breathe and sign on the dotted line! Best wishes xx
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Thank you Rosiepink - you sound so much like my sister in her advice. I just feel so sad at the moment. The view from my bedroom window, the sun shining and my robin singing makes me realise how much i will miss it. But i do know that within the next couple of years that will all change with 40 houses taking its place. So i guess im planning for the future as if i stay to lose it and see it spoiled would be devestating. There’s loads of work to be done on the cottage so i guess my idea of a ‘sit back and enjoy’ retirement has gone out the window for a while!! Im off to see my sister in Southwold soon and i’m always envious of her lovely home so perhaps that will spur me on?! Anyway - less of me - how are you and everybody else dealing with life at the moment?
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Hi
I moved nine months after Simon died. I just did not want to be in the house we had both loved and shared. The move was scarey and difficult and to be honest, i think i wasnt really “with it” half the time. Anyway, i have now been in the house for 8 months and am settled to a point. It was definitely the right thing for me to do but I still see it as a house, not a home. Hopefully, this will change. I wonder all the time what Simon would think, would he be proud of me for moving on. I hope so. Bite the bullet. I send you every good wish for the future and an understanding hug or two. X
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Thank u for Ur lovely message I completely empathise with you It must be so difficult to get used to a new home alone Thinking of you I admire yr bravery in relocating I am sure it will take time to resettle
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@Erindoors and you will take all those wonderful memories with you… Time to build a new home and it sounds like really you know it’s the right thing to do. Best wishes xx
Ive moved into the cottage today and i hate it
Ieft my house clean and tidy and the cottage is filthy. Im surrounded by boxes. Im lying in bed unable to sleep - i was warned about thin walls and i can hear the neighbour coughing. My darling sister is staying over with me tonight but she is 82 and the route to hers is through country lanes so she wont be staying long (dark nights). Im so scared. Heard the building next to my former home will stsrt in the new year so everyone is saying i got put just in time. But what to? I just know ive made a dreadful mistake. Oh god - help.
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@Erindoors don’t panic! It will take you time to get your new home how you want it. Just take it one step at a time. Change is scary but be positive and have hope. I’m sure that all the good things you felt about the cottage will shine through but it’s not going to happen without a sense of positivity. You have to keep going forward. Best wishes as you unpack and adjust to your new surroundings. Xx
Dont move 2 soon take yr time 2 accept the lose of Yr husband, give it @ least 2 year’s & see how u feel, & remember all the love & hard work u both put into yr home. Take care
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Thank you Rosiepink - been cleaning all day and exhausted. My sister goes home later and i am dreading being alone - especially as i have no tv at the moment (usually helps calm me). But have met both neighbours who seem v nice which helps. Its very quiet here - which is what i wanted but its the sleeping which is always a problem andakes things worse.
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@Erindoors it sounds like you’ve made a good start, well done. Have you got some music that you can play? Remember this unsettling time will pass and things will move on. Keep hopeful and positive…xx
Well - here i am again. Alone in my beamed room. I think im being punished for fiilling my mind with the cottage and using it to salve my conscious by moving on and not spending the time thinking and reflecting on my Graham. His and Tash’s ashes are in their respective containers in the bedroom. I said G would never have chosen this place to live. He has been proven right. A week on from the move and i can’t wait to be able to sell it. I’ll have to wait 6 months before i can. My neighbours on one side have a small dog with a huge and ear-piercing bark. It barks hysterically morning noon and night and i can hear it in every room and of course the garden. I have politely had to mention it to them but they obviously love this creature and have never taught it manners. Im devestated as my other neighbours are a delight and the village very pretty - tho more cut off than i had realised. I just know this is going to become a huge problem. So - the fear of moving on was proved justified. I should have stayed put and faced the bulldozers with my old neighbours. Whats the saying? Be careful what you wish for…
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Oh well, try to make the best of it. The only way is forwards and you’ve changed things. Nothing stays the same forever. Your opinions about your move will no doubt change as time goes on. Give it a chance. Good luck and best wishes xx
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Thanks rosiepink - at the moment im hating this cottage and everything about it. I cannot see a bright future at the moment.
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Hi @Erindoors,
I’m sorry that you are feeling quite unsettled after your move. I don’t think you are being punished for thinking of the cottage rather than reflecting all the time on your Graham, everybody grieves differently.
Moving house can be unsettling at the best of times. It can take time to feel at home and get used to new things, especially if not sleeping well! Would be good to give things a chance. Is there music you enjoy that you can play? I find this can change the vibe/ my mood about a place sometimes.
Sending you best wishes
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