Today I went to vote

Yeh same - not seeing his name next to mine ! Another damn reminder. I cried when i got home :frowning: and yeh i think lot of people fed up of tories ! Xx

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Four months is very early days. My husband died 3 months ago and I felt the same. I do postal vote and just mine arrived. Sad.

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I completely understand this. It’s another milestone and they keep cropping up and they do hurt.
I ended up in tears on Thursday on more than one occasion.
For many years I have been a polling clerk in our village. I did consider not doing it but Jeff wanted me to carry on doing things that were normal for me. I also get on very well with the lady I work with.
When Jeff was alive I would leave him in bed as I headed to the polling station. He would call in with our dog to cast his vote in the morning. At 6pm he would bring us fish and chips for dinner and at 10pm he would come round and walk me home.
This year there was nobody to kiss goodbye in the morning. My dog had to go to my son’s overnight. There was no fish and chips and I walked home alone.
I told him about my day and I watched Countdown before bed.
There were a few tears shed throughout the day. Hopefully it will be not as hard when it’s the general election in the winter.

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So sorry for your loss & pray for strength and peace. Lost my beloved Mum (90yrs) a week ago and beyond devasted. Thought we had a few more years. Like you took my younger brother to vote ( he’s 52yrs and autistic & we all lived together ) and it felt surreal and I felt so guilty about continuing to do such a mundane thing. Mum & I also chatted about politics, me slightly more agitated by it all but yes I send you love and strength and peace. Andrea x

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I am sorry for your loss. What a great age and I hope all the memories help to comfort you.
Some people seem to think that just because a person dies at such a good age it doesn’t hurt as much because they were old. The pain is still the same for those left behind.

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Was just thinking the same thing this morning about Sunday roasts. What is the point?

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Anyone who thinks you should be over the death of a loved one in 4 months had been fortunate enough not to walk our path. It’s 4 months for me , too.

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Four months for me and sometimes I feel
like I am coping very well but actually filling my time going out with friends when all I want is my darling partner back.
Feeling so teary this evening.
Thinking of all our friends on this forum. Xx

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I know how you are feeling I lost my wife 17 month ago we did everything together I still grieve for even now il never stop thinking off her ever I’d known her since we were 15 yrs old we were married 62 years im 80 now it was our wedding anniversary on Sunday we always went for a holiday for our anniversary somewhere nice and warm for 2 weeks the furthest I go now is for shopping we have a big garden what we both loved it’s very hard to come.to terms on my own

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Four months is such a short time and I really feel for you. Your post hit a note with me, doing things alone for the first time is so hard to bear. In a few weeks time it will be 2 yrs for me since I lost my dear husband of almost 52 years and it still seems so raw and yes, people do think I should be over it by now but how can that ever happen, it’s impossible. Things do get a little easier to bear and you will, one day feel a little less heartbroken. For me the emotions seem to buid up over a matter of weeks and then I have a real meltdown. Today was one of those days and I sobbed and sobbed but then I wrote to my husband as I’ve mentioned before on this site, I poured out all the same regrets and feelings of guilt and deep love and ended up writing 7 pages. It helps me and afterwards I felt much calmer and got on with the day. My sister lost her husband of 49 yrs 3 months ago and hearing her cry on the phone most days brings back all the first emotions I had. I’m finding her calls very hard but know i would have been glad to have been able to talk to someone who knew what i was going through. Perhaps there’s someone you might know whose also suffered such a huge loss who might be able to help you? I hope so. Take care.

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Had the family here today but had the sadness that my darling partner wasn’t with me. Once they left I had some tears. Mainly thinking that we would have cleared up, had a glass of wine, watched a bit of tv and gone to bed- a perfect day.
We would have talked about our grown op kids and laughed/joked about all the good times shared with them.
He had his own sons too but greatly enjoyed spending time with my family too - which was lovely. Such a lovely family man with his and mine.
Oh God I miss him so much :cry::cry::cry::cry:.

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Thinking of what our spouses/partners are missing is heartbreaking. It feels so unfair.

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Hi RoseGarden,that is so true.
Good times or bad -wonder if this sadness/loneliness ever goes.

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I really, really hope so xx

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I’m at almost 8 months and have no feeling that I’m ’getting over’ this loss. Though I can see that these awful periods come in waves, and the in-between times are getting longer, which I suppose is progress of a sort.

The last few days have been so bad, I think because the weather has been lovely, which so reminds me of how we would walk around the garden, reviewing all the jobs that needed doing (I used to joke that I should carry a clipboard with a note pad to write it all down, as otherwise we’d both forget!); we’d have breakfast outside and just enjoy the peace and beauty of the place. I did that yesterday and ended up in tears at all those memories and things we will never share again.

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So sorry.

Being in the garden when it played such a large part in your lives is an emotional thing.
The first couple of times, I just couldn’t stop crying.

I have been in the garden a few more times, but I can’t say it’s easy as I can see
all the things he has done in the garden. I could even picture him working in certain places.

However, I think it’s a question of persevering and going out into the garden some more times. I certainly hope I’m right as I would like to get back at at least some feeling of the pleasure and peace I used to get being in the garden.

This is a rollercoaster of a journey, but as you have written the gaps between seem to be longer. I think that is progress, but of course the bad bits are really bad. I hope they become shorter for both of us.

Take care,

Rose x

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I feel that all the time RoseGarden, I think of the things he was hoping to do places he wanted to visit after the operation which he he so sadly didn’t survive . We both were so looking forward to the op thinking it would be a new lease of life for him after being unable to do very much at all for the last few years but not to be. Take care.

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So very sorry.

Our plans have been snatched away from us haven’t they?

We have not only lost our loved ones, our joined lives but also our plans.

It is so unfair.

I hope I will get to a point where I will go somewhere we had planned to visit and tell him I’m there for both of us and feel he’s with me.

To be honest, I think that is quite a way in the future.

Sending a very big hug x

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Right back at you RoseGarden x

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Hello everyone,

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