Today is a bad day

My mum died 4 weeks ago in hospital, I hadnt seen her for almost a year because of care home restrictions and I never got to be with her at the end. We had the funeral last week. Today is such a bad day, I’m tired, tearful and heartbroken. I want this grief to stop now, this is so painful.

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Karen58
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear mum. I came across these few words which I hope will be of some comfort. Maybe not now, but hopefully in the future.

“A mother’s love is always with her children. Losing a mother is one of the deepest sorrows a heart can know. But her goodness, her caring and her wisdom live on like a legacy of love that will always be with you. May that love surround you now and bring you peace.”

Wish there was more I could say to console you.
Take care.

Jay x

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Karen58 I’m so sorry you’re having a bad day. The pain and heartbreak can feel so relentless on days like this, and I wish I could say something that would take away some of it for you. I can only say I am completely with you in what you are feeling, and sometimes, when I feel as though I am at the bottom of a pit of grief, it helps - at least a little - to know someone is down there with me. I am there with you xx

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Karen 58
I think I also want to say you lost your mum so recently, and in such difficult circumstances, and everything is so raw and bleak in these early weeks. I’m not sure whether it ‘gets better’, I think we just slowly find ways to live with the grief and the loss. It doesn’t feel like that on days like today, I know. I find it helps to write it down in a journal, or notebook - somewhere to just get the words out. I also started a letter to my mum after she died, which helped a little although it isn’t right for everyone. Sorry for the rambling muddle just trying to say I get how hard this is xx

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I’m so sorry Karen, and wish I could offer words of comfort to you but I know it’s impossible.
I lost my mum just over 3 weeks ago and I feel like you. I have no partner or children and I’m in my 50s. My mum was my reason for living. I feel just like you. I’m lost, alone and heartbroken.
Always here.

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It’s 3 weeks since I lost my dad in an accident still waiting for the post mortem results. I feel so much pain today and just want to cry I’ve tried to keep busy but it’s not always working. I feel so alone and don’t want to tell my family that I’m having a bad dad as they are also trying to deal with the shock. My dad lived in Spain so we couldn’t go there its so very hard

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I’m so sorry AngieMick - it’s so hard isn’t it?
I’m looking at photos of my Mum knowing I’ll never see her again - it’s breaking me. It makes me wish I was really elderly so I didn’t have so long left to live. Just want to be with her.

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Hello @Karen58 I don’t know how the rest of the day has been for you - you’ve been in my thoughts and I’m sending you hugs xx

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Sometimes I think I might be having an ok day - in whatever way ‘ok’ is now - and then for no reason the grief floors me again… moment by moment I guess

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I lost my mum on the 8th feb in hospital with the virus and couldn’t see her at the end which I cannot get out of my mind, so many questions was she ok? And not alone. I feel everyone’s pain and want you to know your not on your own. Never felt pain like this and miss her so so much, tonight and this morning I lit a light to remember her and all the others lost. Xx

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Hi…it was a very difficult day yesterday for lots of us with it being a day of reflection. I treated myself to an early night. Today will hopefully be a better day. How are you today, and how are you coping? X

I’m with you - I had a horrible day so angry and crying so much about it all. Missing mum, all the unanswerable questions… It was hard. I just feel a bit debilitated today. Hope today is better for you xx

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Another bad day and crying again. Lit my candle last night and placed it by the window, looked up to the sky and called his name, so non stop tears .
I’m just walking around this morning talking to Alan and asking him question and wishing he could answer me. I hate this life now.

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It’s a bad day for me too. Losing my mum after 58 years living together is unbearable. Cry all the time and then at the same time just can’t believe she’s gone - just doesn’t seem real.
This sunshine and spring just makes it worse for me.
Knew everything about health, my mum’s health and possibly knew more than the doctor’s in a lot of ways - so for something to come along that I knew nothing about that took my mum within a week is just making the grieving worse.
Thanks everyone. So glad you’re all here - though of course wish we all weren’t.
Take care

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I feel for you right now. Sending you hugs. X

A bad day can really take it out of you. I’m exhausted today, with all the crying yesterday. X

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So sorry you’re going through it too Karen.
Thank you for your concern and kind words
Anne

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Hi Karen, I am so sorry for the loss of your mum. I cannot even imagine how it must feel given the circumstances, not being able to see your mum before she passed away is heartbreaking. Grieving is painful and comes and goes. For me, I found it helpful to remember the happy times my wife and I were together and I still celebrate those special days, it has helped. Take care and take all the time that you need.

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Hi Anne3
I’m so sorry. I feel pretty much the same as you do. I found yesterday (lockdown anniversary) very difficult as it reminded me that a year ago, life changed forever and it was the start of some terrible months for me and my Mum.

I feel as though my grief is getting worse, I look at photos of my Mum and she’s so real and vibrant, I can’t make sense of how she isn’t here.

I had no idea how nightmarish losing my Mum would be. I would give anything to have just 5 more minutes with her.

Sending hugs to you xxx

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I’m so sorry @NJL. I read what you wrote about looking at photos of your mum and it really resonated with me - I see photos of my mum on my phone, especially the live ones, and I can’t believe she isn’t really here any more. I catch a second of her voice, or her laugh, before it cuts out, and I just cry. It is a nightmare, and just hurts so much. Sending hugs xx

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