Thanks Anne. Mum’s birthday is 26th May. I’m having the day off and seeing my Dad and we are going to the cemetery together (my Mum and Dad separated shortly after I was born but eventually remained friends and we had lovely family times on birthdays).
Feel everything is a bit surreal at the moment, I suppose this is numbness trying to give me a break from grief.
Xxxx
Hi Anne
Of course I don’t mind I was on citalopram but they said they can give you an irrational heart beat if heart difficulties in family, so given there is heart disease in the family I was changed to Sertraline and I do find I feel better with the change, again it’s more for anxiety and helps depression. I’m working but my manager is good, she lost her husband at a young age so I believe she understands. I sometimes feel so overwhelmed, tired and headache, so I often take an hour break to rest, sometimes even fall a sleep then get back to work which really helps. I suffer with IBS which flares up sometimes. Thank you for thinking of me, take care Perth xx
Thinking of you Karen.
It was my husbands birthday and although my dear dad made the effort to give him a card, my mum always did the birthday cards and use to give a little something to go for a drink on her, there was nothing in his card, not anything wrong in that but bless he missed it. Thinking of you Perth xx
Hi All,
I am back at work tomorrow, on a phased return. I only in til lunchtime until after half term. I have also discussed the possibility of going part time after the summer hols, and it seems possible. Losing my mum, and having my 63rd birthday has taught me life is too short.
I am hoping I can keep it together tomorrow, my work colleagues are lovely and so supportive, but if they go all soppy I might just lose it.
I hope you are all ok and looking after yourselves. Take care…Karen xxx
Good luck Karen I hope all goes well for you tomorrow. Please let us know how you get on.
Thinking of you Perth xx
Hi Karen
I’m sending lots of good luck and good thoughts your way. I’m sure the anticipation will be worse than when you’re there and it sounds as if your work colleagues are nice. Is it worth texting some of them and just explaining that you’d rather not talk about things as it will be too upsetting for you? I think having to deal with how you think other people will expect you to behave is very difficult and you don’t need it.
Let “the gang” know how you are tomorrow. We’ll all be thinking of you.
Nicky
Thanks everyone, I will let you know tomorrow. Hope you are all ok. Karen xxx
Hi Karen
How did you get on today xxx
Hello everyone. Today I’ve been thinking of my mum and couldn’t stop crying, miss her so much.
Karen hope today went well.
Thinking of you all Perth xx
Hi Perth
So sorry to hear you’ve had a bad day, I also couldn’t stop crying this afternoon about my Mum, I can’t believe she isn’t here, it’s not fair.
I hope you have a peaceful night.
Nicky xx
Anne and Nicky thank you for your messages, I agree with what you’ve both shared.
Thinking of you both too and hope we all get a rested night sleep.
Perth xx
Hi Anne and gang,
Well I got through my first day back and up and ready for day 2.
I felt really anxious, but after the first hour it was like I had never been away. I managed to hold back my emotions until I got home. Thankfully I am only working til lunchtime. It’s my late Father’s birthday today, he has been dead many years now after taking his own life.
I hope you are ok Anne, and thanks to you and everyone for your support.
Karen xxx
Hi All
Thinking about you all, reading the posts, missing cards, awful stresses about where to live, not being able to make plans because our loved people won’t be there - so much missing and pain. And that’s just some of what I’ve read. Apologies for the things I haven’t mentioned - I feel it all for every one of us.
I’ve just had the most awful week - over 3 months since mum died and I just miss her. All the time. Every day. I want to talk to her, laugh with her, tell her stuff that’s been happening, celebrate being able to hug and go out again - it’s just too much. I have a weight in my chest and a huge hole in my stomach. I have had days when it eases for a while, at least a little bit, but it is always there in some form - this relentless grief and longing.
Thank you to everyone who posts on here - I know there are so many of you who know, who get, what this feels like, and it really does help.
Sending love❤️
Take care
Nam xx
Hi Nam
I understand every word you’ve written. I lost my Mum just over 5 months ago and it’s her birthday next week.
The ache and the need to see her and hug her and talk to her is overwhelming isn’t it. As you say, some days it’s a little lighter but then it comes back again other days. I just miss my Mum so much, she would know exactly how to comfort me.
I hope today is one of your lighter days, it doesn’t mean you miss your Mum any less but it makes it less sharp doesn’t it.
Nicky xx
Hi Anne, thank you. Today’s an up and down day, I’ve had lighter moments and then tearful moments. It’s just how it goes, isn’t it. I hope your day isn’t too awful for you. Thank you for your kindness and caring.
Nicky xxx
Thank you for your kind message Nicky - yes overwhelming is right. Today is a lighter day, but even on those days I feel like crying when I can’t do all of those things you mention.
You say it’s your mum’s birthday next week - that’s another of the heartbreaking firsts that we will have to face isn’t it? Like Mother’s Day this year… I don’t know about you but I can’t even think ahead to next week to know what I would want to do.
My mum’s birthday is in July. We always had a lovely family party here at ours with my siblings and as many grandchildren as we could gather - mum loved it. I can’t even begin to imagine what it will be like this year without mum there in the centre of it all laughing and having fun.
We don’t have that comfort any more, as you say, but I do find some in this lovely community here - I hope there is some for you too.
Sending love
Take care
Nam xx
Hi Nicky,
Sounds like you are having a tough time. Be kind to yourself, and let your tears out. Its strange isnt it, our mums prepared us for most things in life, but never their passing. I dont think anything prepares us for that.
Take care Nicky.
Karen xxx
I would love to Anne xx
I have private messaged you Anne xxx
I have no objection to you passing mine on to the others Karen xxx