Hello Anne
I’m so sorry you’re having all these traumatic things to deal with.
I think your idea to buy somewhere in the same town is the best option for you. It’ll mean your Mum’s money isn’t being wasted on rental and all property is an investment. It will take the pressure off you and maybe once that’s in motion, you may feel you’ve got one less thing to deal with
I know exactly what you mean about asking questions. My Mum talked a lot about her past and I know quite a lot but since she’s not been here, I’ve thought of so many questions that are so important and I can’t believe I never asked them and I really hope she wasn’t upset that I didn’t ask. If she could somehow magically be here, I would talk to her 24 hours a day and ask EVERYTHING.
I’m not doing too well at the moment, the loss is totally overwhelming and I can’t make sense of how MY Mum isn’t here any more, this happens to other people, not my Mum who would never have left me.
They say that grief comes in waves. I’ve had a few calmer days earlier this week but it’s back in ful force today. I just miss her so much.
If you are sleeping in the day, it’s your body’s way of telling you to rest and heal so don’t feel you shouldn’t be doing that.
Hi Anne,
It sounds like you are really struggling at the moment. There is so much going on for you, it must be so hard with all the decisions you are having to make. Be kind to yourself. I hope the anti-deressents begin to help, I am on them too, and I do believe they will help you as much as they have me.
As always my thoughts are with you. Karen xxx
My Mum was originally from Surrey, her Dad was a proper cockney from the East End. He and my Nana split up when my Mum was very small and she saw him once when she was 10 and then never again. She and I traced where he was buried and we went to visit his grave a few years ago in Lambeth Cemetery but it was unmarked so we weren’t entirely sure where he was. My Mum was very upset that there was nothing saying he was there so I have made sure that her Little Garden (I can’t say the G word in relation to my Mum) is clearly marked and her headstone is coming next month.
My Mum was an evacuee during the war, she was sent to Wales with her older sister and she had a terrible time with two nasty old ladies who didn’t want to give a home to an evacuee. I wish I’d asked her more about it. All those memories gone forever. It breaks my heart.
I’ve never taken antidepressants but I do know they take a while to kick in so you have to give them a chance so don’t think after a week or two that they’re not working, give them some time.
Thanks Anne. No my Mum isn’t with my Granddad but yes, I want to be with my Mum too.
Your Mum was a Land Girl! What a fantastic story she must have had.
I’m sure our Mums knew how proud we were of them but I just feel I didn’t tell my Mum that enough. I did tell her I loved her all the time so that helps me now.
Yes my Mum’s little garden is less than 2 miles away from where I live so I can cycle there easily in 10 minutes or less and today I walked. It’s along a lovely river path for part of the way and I see wildlife and ducks every morning. Today when I was sitting at the little garden, a rabbit came and sat about four feet away from me for quite a long time, totally relaxed. I couldn’t help but think it was my Mum somehow sending me a sign xxxx
Hello Tadpole Anne Nicky and Karen
Sorry I’ve not been on line for the last few days, I’ve not been feeling too good, just left with a headache now.
I’m on antidepressants too, have been for a while now, they help me to function in some way.
Still cry all the time about mum especially at night which means I don’t always sleep too well.
Hi All…I totally agree. The news is really upsetting, everyone upbeat about hugging and going out for meals and drinks with their families. It’s depressing, but I feel guilty for feeling like this. Anyone else feeling like this? Sorry to sound so gloomy xxx
It’s my Mum’s birthday next week and normally I’d be making plans and getting her presents sorted and I’d have the day off work so we could do something. This year I’ve bought a wreath. So I don’t want to hear about other people with their families I’m afraid.
As someone who has lost their husband - not through covid - I can honestly say that I am avoiding the news. I think those who have lost loved ones throughout this whole period are forgotten. We have suffered terrible loss during a period when we have had little access to face to face support. For me there can be no celebrations or making plans to jet off somewhere.
