People do and sometimes they mean well without thinking. One of my close friends said to me the other day you are too young to be left on your own. I wasn`t upset by this as she was thinking of me. I am actually happy being on my own I have booked myself walking holidays, go out for my own for lunch etc. I think my hubby would be pleased with me and no one could compare to him so if anyone suggests it I actually let it wash over me as I know what is best for me
I am really sorry for those of you who have had comments on āfinding someone elseā, how can people be so insensitive? I hope Iāll never receive a comment like that, itās even worse than being accused of wallowing. Just like youāve all said, my husband is my āoneā and always will be. I still feel him with me and this gives me strength to go on.
In my mind and heart I had the most wonderful and unique husband ever and we were together for 25 years. 1000 years would not have been enough.
We are all so lucky to have found our best friends, soul mates and loves of our lives. We have been so fortunate to have found the āoneā. That is why our grief is so deep and never ending but still we have had what the majority of people have never experienced- true and total love. We have been so lucky and yet so horribly unfortunate to have had that and lost it at the same time. My heart swells with love for him but is also shattered in a thousand pieces xx
Charm
Thank you. I could have written that myself. My heart is broken and will only mend when Iām with my darling husband again.
@Carol9 I agree 100%, in the words of the song I had at Marks funeral, I get comfort from the words: Eternity forever and weāll meet again someday.
Some of you will have read my earlier post but incase you havenāt:
I found comfort in the words of Heavens now my home.
If you put that in search engine along with comforting funeral song it will bring them up (by Libby Allan) I had the the one that shows a religious building on the first picture and the videos for 3m 49s I had this at Marks funeral I found the words so meaningfull and the images as well (there is also one with a female singer if itās a female you are grieving) I sincerely hope it will give someone some comfort, but be warned Iām not sure you can listen to it without tears. xxx
Iāve known my husband for 44 years, since I was 16. The very thought of taking up with anyone else makes me feel Ill. Itās not, and never will be, an option. He was everything to me. One in a million.
Dear Loney,
It is true, once you have found that one person you do not want anyone else.
We only had 15 years together. We shouldve had more ā¦ but I am also grateful that i had those years and found my soul mate.
Noone could ever take his place xx
Oh dear Lonely
It make me so sad when people have their partner still with them at 88. My husband died two years ago aged 74 and would give anything to be looking after him still.
He was my soulmate and I would do anything for him as he would for me. Your one time friend should thank her lucky stars that she still has her precious husband. Love to you and every sad person on this site.
That is awful @lonely.
Well done for what you said, you do not need that.
She will miss him and will regret how she treated him when he does pass on.
She is very lucky she still has him.
I would give absolutely anything to have my husband back.
One of my āfriendsā (who keeps sending me photos of him & hus wife and there date nightās - i gave asked him to stop) was moaning about his wife. I told him to be grateful he still has her and to talk to her x
Hubby was only 56 when he passed ā¦ I would give anything for him to be here with me x
Omg i would blick this friend u dont need ppl like that in your lifeā¦i have a friend who has not been supportive at all she loat her son 6 years ago i lost my partner 3 monrhs agoā¦i feel she doesent rate my loss in comparison to hers i do think losi g a child is beyond comprehension but im grieving tooā¦she said to me you will get used to itā¦
We all would sweetheart xxx
My dad is 89 and my mum is 85,and I hate to admit that I do get very angry when I hear them moaning and groaning at each other (especially my mum at my dad). I just want to scream out : "Why donāt you just shut up? You should count your lucky stars youāve been married for 58 years, known each other for 68! We only had twenty five!
Thank you @Lonely, yes, youāre right, I really should. The next time, they do it, I will 
.
Hi Everyone
I have been reading this topic with interest and can so relate to much of it.
I have been fortunate that I havenāt received stupid remarks (perhaps they donāt dare) except for one woman who did say shortly after I lost my husband that I was lucky as I had ONLY lost my husband as if he had been an afterthought. Never spoke to her again and she was lucky I was still in shock as I might have thumped her.
I have found that women like to tell me in detail what they are doing with their husbands. All about their trips out, even to what shops they are going to. I did point out to one woman that didnāt she think this was insensitive as I would never be able to do this with my husband again. Talk about rubbing my nose in itā¦
I can also relate to the feeling that there is no one to check on me any longer although I do get emails or text from time to time from family or friends. I am a keen walker but now keep to paths and tracks where I know there are other people walking along. Just in caseā¦
My Nan lived on her own for some years and every morning her two next door neighbours (also on their own) all checked on each other by calling over the fence. I have now befriended a neighbour also on her own who I walk with every evening with our dogs and she knows my family telephone number and I know hers. Why donāt communities keep an eye on each other. My next door neighbours of over thirty years have never knocked my door once and asked me how I was although we have chats while outside.
None of us really know what loss truly does to us until we experience it ourselves I know I certainly didnāt and truly thought that when we lost a loved one we got over it and carried on as normal. Not soā¦ I was so surprised to find that I love my husband more than ever after losing him a few years ago, he is always in my thoughts. I had been married before and had other boyfriends when young and really thought that I would cope in time when I lost my husband. I thought I was strong and had managed to cope with the loss of close family but losing Brian was a whole new ball game.
Now I am satisfied with my life on my own. I have my interests and ask for little and I have my beloved dogs of course.
And lastly I agree with an earlier post from Grandma. At times we have to be prepared to push ourselves out of our comfort zone and I decided early on that I didnāt want to be so unhappy and miserable for the rest of my life as it was doing me no good. I was also told just weeks after losing Brian and was virtually in tears 24/7 while in a shop to cheer up. The woman then went on to describe all her illnesses and how she coped and didnāt look so miserable. I blurted out that my husband had just died and walked out.
Take care everyone.
I can certainly relate to your last paragraph which is exactly how I felt when I lost my hubby. I moved from a really rural property to a cottage I own in a village down a little lane. Have to say the neighbours are lovely, today I needed to load a skip as builders take nothing away my neighbour came and helped me. The worse person for me was my sister in law, hubbys sister what a nightmare all she was interested in was money . Now she knows she isnt getting any she things it better if we dont have contact, fine by me. I will say this really sorts out the whos and the who nots have to say most have been the who`s . I also lost my mum and dad within a year of each other and thought like you but losing my husband was something else . Strangely I also think I love him more as the last few years of his life were hard for both of us. I now remember him as the person he was before he became ill and maybe that is why . Thank you for your post x
We are certainly all in the same boat, and it seems we are all hitting a real low today, reading the messages. I was in a shop today and the lady on the till was my Saturday girl (nearly 40 years ago) so she knew Mark from when she started working for me, usually conversation, how you keeping ect, I told her about Mark but I just managed to hold it together, wether it was because we went so far back or because itās my birthday week I donāt know. I got back to the car and cried my eyes out, gosh it can hit you like a ton of bricks, how ever far down the line you are. Big hug to everyone (I certainly need it today!!)
I can relate to everything on this site . Itās so difficult and if I bump into anyone I havenāt seen since my husband died suddenly the tears just flow and I let them . Iām not afraid to get upset wherever I am as it is good to release emotions .
Think when someone passes away others show their true colours .
Take care and be strong and make sure your priority is yourself now ! Disregard anyone who causes stress. Problems thatās what I do now and feel better for it x
Hi everyone. Been catching up with the dayās posts. Iām so sorry that youāre having a hard time with so-called friends. Iāve had one remark saying that I may find someone else but I just treated the remark with the contempt it deserved. I went to the garden centre yesterday with my sister. It was the first time Iād been since losing David last November. We always spent a lot of time there. My sister and I had lunch and had a look around and I was doing well until I glimpsed a household item my husband always got. I was instantly fighting tears and felt like Iād been punched in the stomach. I cried in the car on the way home. Just little things like that can ambush you and turn a stable day into a down day in a matter of seconds. Itās just so hard never knowing when or where itās going to hit and itās also exhausting. @Lonely Iām so glad you gave that āfriendā - what for and then disowned her horrible woman. Love and strength to you all. Jean x.