Hope 5
Sorry to hear re your dilemma . Similar thing happened to me with sky signed up for contract for 18 months then they increased payment t after 6 months by 50 pound! I managed to get it sorted over phone was so upset . Don’t give up ring them and speak to bereavement team . If no joy day you contacting citizen advice bureau etc it’s a lot of money and you need to find the strength to ensure you resolve this ! As upsetting as it is .
And don’t apologise re ranting it helps us as part of grief is anger !
I hope you get things sorted x
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Hi @Hope5
I’m so sorry too you are having such a hard time dealing with insensitive people in a company.
I’m amazed they didn’t put you straight through to the bereavement team
From my knowledge all companies have them. When I had to deal with all these things after my husband’s death everyone of the bereavement teams were kind and helpful.
Do call back and ask for bereavement team
Perhaps you were just unlucky enough to get an employee who didn’t have foresight or knowledge to put you through to them. When you do get through , let them know how upset you were/are. And how distressing it has been dealing with their company.
Best wishes for a resolution soon.
Bug hugs 
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I told him i wanted to cancel the contract he said its £288 pnd i would have to pay .im getting my hair died at 9.30 so after that il ring that number il let you all know whats happened thanks for all your support xxxx
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I just had another thought , whose name was the contract in?
Because if your husbands or jointly they can’t possible charge you.
Just make sure you speak to the bereavement team.
Hope you get some relaxation getting your hair done.
Bug hugs
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Hi all Thanking everyone who.has supported me with this issue Spoke to two.different people on the bereavement line both so nice different from the 2 i spoke with yesterday.They should have put me through to that site yesterday but didnt .Had another meltdown again today but what a difference it makes when your speak to kind understanding people who dont treat you like an old senile woman .Got a reduction so happy with that .Ive come to the conclusion that the kindness of strangers is so nice and comforting. Its what we expect from so called friends and family but in a lot of our cases thats just never going to happen Sad realy .The last guy i spoke too said he had lost his girlfriend when he was just 19.and hes 44 now and hes still waiting for people from the funeral who promised to stay un touch go out for drinks ect ect .Why are people so cold and heartless .All of our journeys could have been a bit easier with a little thought and kindness .At least we have it here thank god for that love hope xxx
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Hope
I’m so pleased for you. As you say, a bit of kindness and understanding goes a long way when you are grieving.
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Thanks carol 8weeks in for me and i can barely get out of bed somedays im not funchioning .at all so ue any sort of stress on top of that is too much for my brain xxxx
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I know lonely .She is ungrateful and probley she knows her sons wont want to do it if they anything like our kids .It sounds more of a burdon than a joy for you do you need that hassle ?.lifes bloody hard enough without people draining you Ye im 8 weeks in and ive enough of so called people .i get texes of people saying the usual like oh i wish theres more i could do to help you i feel like saying more ,youve not done one thing talk is cheap actions speak louder than words .I have told people not to ring me im to depresses to talk but the reality is they will.ask how i am talk about me for 5 minutes then spend the next hour talking about themselves and how hard don by they are just dont need it .Just got my hair dyed it looks ok but my puffy eyes and eye bags arnt so attractive 
never mind no ones will.see me apart from the cat and she loves me unconditionally. Xxx
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That is interesting as my mum used to say she wouldn’t be seen dead looking awful. One of my safest memories is that she did. I was so cross that they had left her in a mess like that when I went to see her.
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@Hope5 I am glad that you have got your bill sorted. How terrible of the person who you spoke to didn’t put you straight away through to the bereavement team. Just not on. Big hugs xx
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Thanks hazel i know I suffer with anxiety and dont deal well.with stress .I want to to curl up in my bed sometimes and shut all the world out to avoid any more shit that life is going to throw at me .xxx
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I never made a good job of dying my hair so my Grey always did it for me and made a real good job He would do anything for me nothing was ever any trouble .I was so lucky he chose me xxx
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@Hope5
Hello. I’m so glad it has all been sorted to your satisfaction.
And happy to hear that after all there was a kind, understanding bereavement team.
Amongst the anguish and stress of having to deal with all those things, I too found it really comforting and quite cathartic talking to kind strangers who wanted to help the best they could, while doing their job.
Big hugs
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Hi cathphil it costs nothing does it to have manners and be kind.And a few kind words to vulnrable people like us can make your day xxx
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@Lonely
I’ve shared the following advice on other conversations on this site.
It’s from my GP. She gave it to me on Day 1 ( she was in close touch as my husband died at home while receiving end of life care, and in any case she is wonderful GP…)
Her advice was
- Try to eat (still struggling with that)
- Try to sleep (still struggling with that)
And here’s the clincher…
- AVOID ANYONE WHO WILL DRAIN YOU EMOTIONALLY!
the best best advice ever… 9 months on… Do this on a daily basis.
Big hugs to you all
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Thank you for sharing that. My eating is other way because of stress. Same sleeping so take a light tablet.
Well about avoiding people draining - find that I avoid most situations which is opposite most people telling me. Just in small doses.
Hence my flowers are the best. They only cheer.
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Good morning @Lonely
The other advice
IT’S OKAY TO BE SELFISH
You are 80, You have earned that right!!
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Dear @Lonely
Oh I do understand. I’m good at giving this advice , but not at following it myself !!!
I was eldest of 4 siblings and looked after them from as early as I can remember, always the one to help friends, do all the food at social occasions/parties etc, always the one to make the contact to stay in touch plus very demanding jobs, special needs teacher for over 30 years, now teach and work with adults with LD, and run schemes for very high need kids to give their parents respite in all school holidays, look in 3 times a day on elderly neighbours (88 and 90), always the first to notice things need doing whether at home or work, and just get on with it …
My husband was always trying to slow me down . .saying things like “why is it always you?” “You work to hard !” "Sit down* Etc etc!!
He was the only one who had my back, qALL The time. God how I miss him !
I do sometimes manage the odd selfish moment… And I know when I do it’s making him so happy 
which encourages me to try again.
Lots of love and hugs to you @Lonely
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Omg how could she be so cruel .unless you have been through what we have they cant understand. If a friend had said that to me i definitely wouldnt want them in my life .sending you hugs
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Fantastic advice about avoiding people who drain you emotionally.
I have done exactly the same since my mum died last Dec and I can honestly say it has totally sorted my wellbeing.
Just don’t bother texting, phoning, meeting or coming into contact with anyone that pulls you down, upsets you in any way or is simply too full on. That way I can assure you from experience is not only liberating but healthwise does you the world of good. There are many people in my life that were full on around the time of my mums funeral and wanted to know everything, constant texts and phone calls but since her funeral nothing.
If I have ever passed them whilst out I have a sentence prepared such as sorry I have to dash am in a hurry got an appointment and I keep walking. It is so funny really as they are left puzzled. For me I just feel I am not wasting time talking to people who don’t really care about me .
Thinking of you
Deborah x
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