Aww Caroline.
I would have been so cross. You did well to walk him back to the tube or wherever it was. God alive coming over from America as well !!!.
As you say stay with people who listen to you and are kind. Dont put up with other people. Not worth it.
Deborah x
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āFriendshipā really does amaze me, this includes family!
I have found my true friendship on here.
What your "āFriendā has said is shocking ā¦ the trouble is, once they are in your position, you sre the one they will expect to rely on.
Im usually the one people come to with any problemsā¦ i tried letting my guard down slightly since hubby passed - thats shot me down and made me remember why I keep myself to me (and when he was here, hubby)
- Within the first week of his passing i was told to move on, find someone else.
- His funeral i was told that our wedding song was ācheesyā
- i received photoās sent directly to me (not a generic social media post) of them with their family away over Christmas/new year (lost my hubby November ) & telling me how anazing their time is & how much they live their family (same 'friend who said song was cheesy)
- apparently i āneed helpā
- i mentioned getting tattoo for hubby - same friend: why? What about your next partner?
- same āfriendā - still sending me photoās of his wife & saying how lucky he is??? ā¦ but then moans about wife
ā¦ ive held it togetherā¦ but seriously! I find it hard to be horrible to people- but think i need to be direct & say as much as i appreciate he 'apparently ā loves his family & have no issue seeing this on the social media news feed ā¦ sending it directly is an issue (i have tried using subtle (not sure i spelt that right) tones - he iniaites messages, if in the conversation i mention hubby, he diesnt respond?
- my oldest friend (since i was 5 - lived nextdoor to eachother 25 years) she just sent a "sorry " text when my dad passed 2 years agoā¦ her pare3didnt acknowledge my dads passing. ā¦ come to my hubby (friend came to wedding) she knew 2 days after he passed (via a mutual friend - who is the only one i can honestly say is a friend) i heard nothing until she knew his funeral - told me she would ātry light a candleā (lives 40 minutes from me) ā¦ nothing since.
- any ācloseā people in general are shocked that im still in a ābadā way ā¦ apparently should be over hubby?
The 'get over the firsts will be easier ā is rubbish!!
List hubby November. My birthday, his birthday, Christmas, new year, our āget togetherā anniversary ā¦ ive struggled through.
I have our wedding anniversary and his first anniversary left
If i mention him - everyone shurs me down.
I cry about him - im silly, need to get over it?
Here is the only place I can truely open myself up, everyone here will support you, i am sending you a huge hug right now x
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Sending a hug right back @Kel2 
xxx
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Sending loads of hugs back and thinking of you Keep posting on here
Deborah x
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@Kel2 You know I think (scrap that I know) until you are in our position you just donāt have a clue! If Iām honest I certainly didnāt! Yes my whole family, parents & siblings died within a very few years of each other and I certainly thought I knew all about grief BUT threw out this horrible time I had Mark by my side supporting me, but now Iām totally alone (I have no family whatās so ever) Friends have said thoughtless things 6 weeks after the love of my life of 40 years died I was told (several times) you know what Iām going to sayā¦ āYouāre young enough, youāll meet someone else, itās what he would have wanted!ā Three or four times a very good friend (I still count her as one of the best, she has been there more than just about anybody, she just didnāt think!) What she kept say that cut me to the core was āYouāve got a new life, get on with itā Some of you may know I also had a horrible time with a so called friend (no friend, what so ever, believe me) We were renovating our house, had carpets up, just left old underlay down, while we were working. Needed to decorate, (this person offered to decorate, I was in such a bad state I wasnāt strong enough to do it myself, I really didnāt want him, yes, heās an odd job man, but far from the best, BUT I didnāt want to hurt his feelings, so I agreed. He did 3 days (4 hours max a day!) Then came said he had to go to A&E pain in chest wouldnāt contact wife so I went with him, spent 8 hours looking at the door where I was told Mark had not survived, I got no thank you off him, all he said was heād actually done me a favour getting that 1st out of the way so quickly for me, he was off the next 3 days (no problem) worked 2 more days, seemingly I then upset him, he had sent me text saying heād been called to a water leak) which I never saw, or missed him due to his lunch being a minimum 2+hours Iād never missed him!) But seemingly when he came back I said nice to see you! He must have fumed rest of that day and next, the atmosphere was horrible, it all came to head when he nearly pulled my staircase apart, instead of carefully lifting his dustsheets (before carpet is laid there are bits of wood with nails sticking up, for the carpet to catch on) he ripped it up in an unbelievable temper, saying heāll be glad when this f*** job is done, I asked what was wrong, it turns out Iād upset him with the nice to see you comment! I couldnāt believe he was being like this with me, I said Iāf spent 9 hours at the hospital (as he didnāt want to worry his wife, his replyā¦ I sat crying in his house (yes I did, that was the day Mark died suddenly & very unexpectedly and yes I will never ever forgive him for that comment, I believe what goes around comes around so he will get his cumupence) I was actually frightened as he was shouting, I told him Iād pay him to where heād got to & get out (he lives a few doors away so it wasnāt that he didnāt know size ect of house. That was one very valuable lesson Ā£500+ to decorate 2 bedroom ceilings and top of stairs, emulsion 1 bedroom and half way down stairs and undercoat 2 doors and 4 wardrobe doors and 5 drops of wallpaper (2 of which are overlapping - I removed wallpaper ready for him)
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I remember you posting this earlier and itās actually worse reading it again.
Thatās not a man - thatās something you find under a stone or on your shoe.
Please donāt let it gnaw away at you.
G. X
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@Grandma
Thankfully I donāt, I think it was just reading those early comments & I crossed paths with his wife yesterday thatās brought it to mind xxx
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Yes, @Sulane , I too remember your post about this and it certainly doesnāt improve with the telling does it? You donāt need āfriendsā like that do you?
Hugs
Karen xxx
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I remember you telling us that. Words fail me! Cut the hideous sub-human out of your life.
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@KarenF
I think it was just reading those early comments & I crossed paths with his wife yesterday thatās brought it to mind xxx
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@Jean8
I think it was just reading those early comments & I crossed paths with his wife yesterday thatās brought it to mind xxx
@kKel2 As I say when we chat privately I am so sorry that you are going through this. I would not be talking to that person. They would be blocked in every way imaginable. Unfortunately I think we all know at least one insensitive person in our lives but I must admit I cut them out.
At the moment I feel safest when I am at home or at the burial site. I only spend time with people who understand or who have been through the same thing.
Today is another bad day for me and they certainly outweigh any bit of a decent day. I cry so much it is unbelievable.
My love and hugs go out to you and all of us who canāt cope xxx
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That is a very sad post just donāt get people. Only today my wife who has passed 18 months ago was described has my ex mrs ! Take care everyone and ignore everybodyās insensitive comments! X
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@Kwent Thats just shocking! I had a text from a so called friend congratulating me on being 6 months single!?? Needless to say, that person is now blocked!
My heart breaks for all of usā¦
ā¦. No one will understand until it happens to themā¦
Big hug to everyone xx
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Thatās awful @Kwent. Richard will ALWAYS be my husband, never ex and I canāt imagine why anyone would even think that was ok to say.
Hugs xxx
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Good for you @Lonely 
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Same here my husband will always be my husband no one will ever replace him
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There is no man that could ever replace my husband, soulmate and best friend ever. Xx
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He was the only love of my life xxx
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Fed up of being told to move on, get over it. Iām young enough to find a new love. Donāt people realise that theyāre well meaning words cut us to the bone. I for one try not to associate with āthe so called friendsā.
This life isnāt what any of us ever wanted and to be told to move on is very cruel.
Take care everyone
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