Thinking of you today, and hoping you have a better day. The pain isn’t going to ease, but we getting better at tolerating it. I’m further on than you, and if I can help in any way, please ask. I don’t have all the answers but I do know how you are feeling, I have probably had all the same thoughts. I’m still in a bubble, watching the world go on without me, we are in the same altered universe, for want of a better label. So we can support each other. As I said, I’m here for you. If you want my mobile number so we can chat that way, that’s fine. Please take care, and remember, on this site, you have new friends who know how you feel.
Lesley xx
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I’m sat in my car crying for us all. Why are we the ones to go through this. It seems we all had amazing partners who were there for us and everyone else. Chris passed away Over 9 months ago and I have tried to keep as busy as possible. May be I’ve been too busy, today I went to see a customer in York and everyone walking around me see couples holding hands. I feel so angry that I can’t hold Chris’s hand, have a kiss or chat with him. I miss him so much. People tell me I am lucky to have had 30 years with an amazing man but I’m 53 and wanted another 30 years. We have 2 amazing children in their early twenty’s but at the moment I just want to lay down with Chris and have a cuddle. Today I cant imagine how my life will go on without him. Love to you all Miki x
Hi Miki,
So sorry to read how upset you are, I’ve been there and it’s awful. Looking around seeing everyone enjoying life, for me sometimes it’s an exaggerated view, like people in my face saying look at us ! I’m still there most of the time. It’s been 14 months for me, and sometimes it’s only feels like it was yesterday. Time has gone and I have missed it. I could just give up, but I too have children,and they need their mum, they are in their 20’s too. I suppose what I am trying o say, and probably not very well, is that you are not alone in this, we are all in this together. If I can help or support you let me know.
Thinking of you, take care.
Lesley xx
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Thanks Lesley for your reply. Most of the time, I try to smile and most people think I’m doing fine because of all the activities I do but today I just felt so angry and upset. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel a bit brighter but tonight I’m going to go to sleep and try and dream about Chris. Take care and keep strong xx
I just had to tell everyone that today I got my sign from my lovely Ed ! After another terribly sad weekend I was forced to go out with a friend for a coffee. I was locking my door and beside the path was a white feather stuck into the ground !! My Ed was in the forces when he was younger and the feather was standing straight like a soldier. I have read so many times that a white feather is a sign a loved one is near and I truly believe it now. I feel so comforted and have been thanking Ed for helping my pain of missing him. I know I will probably be sad again tomorrow or other days but this sign has been such a positive help to me today. Sorry if I am raving on but I just wanted to share this small light of hope. And I hope that we all get these signs at some time from our loved ones often. Thank you.
Liz x
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That’s lovely for you, enjoy the feeling, and remember it when you are down. Fingers crossed I will get a sign one day too.
Take care, Lesley xx
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I was crying in the car when Strong came on the radio by Mark Kingswood, it’s worth a listen and then “I want to break free” came on. Chris danced to this in my swimming costume and a wig one New Years Eve. Finally when I got home there was a blue feather outside my back door. I hope they are signs to help me through my bad day. Xx
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Thanks Lesley. I’m sure you will get a sign too. And least when you expect it but most when you need it.
Sending you a hug
Liz x
Miki they are signs I’m sure. I am such a self doubting person and Ed was forever telling me off for not trusting myself more. I’m sure that’s another reason my white feather was stuck into the ground so I could not miss it and Ed saying “ believe I’m still here !” We need to trust our loved ones and feel their signs are how they are helping us and loving us still.
Sending you a hug
Liz x
Lesley, I’m sure you will get a sign too. Sending hugs Miki x