I get told “your so strong” but I don’t feel it, sometimes I feel weak and helpless. It’s been 2 months for me and like you, this isn’t what I want. Tune those people out of your head and focus on you, take it one hr at a time, then one day at a time, only you knows what you’re feeling 
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We all grieve differently, but people who say you’re strong or you’re coping say that to make themselves better.
Day by day is the best way - your way -
this is a life changer of a journey.
It will get easier but not straight away.
Little by little we let go of our loss
But never of our love.
G. X
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I know what you mean l get told l am strong.
Or l don’t know how you do it.
I don’t know what they mean- the sleepiness nights, hoping to wake up from a nightmare and my daughter and husband are still alive.
I am not strong l struggle every time I start the day but my autistic son needs me so I try to keep going.
It’s not strength it’s trying to survive the nightmare one day at a time
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@DennisS brilliant - thats great to know! It is also good to know that others are keen to meet up online. It will be good to be able to give each other peer support and share why things really are"totally shit!".
I’m more that happy to organise for those of us whose partners have died - you will all be most very welcome. I will arrange the first virtual “get together” for this coming Thursday @ 8pm. Please can you DM me your email address so I can send you the zoom link. xxx
Sorry I forgot to add - in the interest of data protection email addresses will not be shared. I’ll also forward a easy to follow guide on how to use zoom - it is very easy so you do not need to be tech savvy, you can join via your smartphone, tablet or computer.
Shaz69 haven’t a clue what I’ve done but it’s not letting me private message you ? Any suggestions on what I’ve done wrong?
Hi Mary just sent you a message xxx
Great I’ve replied thanks you
Shaz69 I’d be up for a Zoom meeting too. Thanks for offering to set it up.
Brilliant that’s good to know. If you DM me your email address I will send you a zoom link. Xx
Would love to join.
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I lost my life partner of over 51 years [married for 48 year of those] 9 months ago. now just reaching out to people… I have said to people when asked if I am ‘alright’ I am alright but not ok. You are right its totally shite. To most of the outside world people thinking I strong and managing , but in reality I totally lost. I can meet up with friends but still come home to an empty house, I am not strong, I seem to be crying more now that a few months ago. To me the enjoyment of going out to places , maybe museums , exhibitions or just up the road for a coffee just is flat. Ihave tried it and feel I am just going through the motions… Someone said to me it doesn’t get easier but you learn coping mechanisms, this is true its still as raw as 9 months ago. Yes it is shite
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I have constant noise to avoid total silence. Radio in 1 room and TV in another!
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That’s good to know! You’d be very welcome. Please private message me your email address and I’ll send you a zoom link xx
Hi Shaz69,how do i message you with my email address.Thanks Mickere
Hi just sent you a private message 
xx
I totally understand what you said, last night I was asked to a meal with my daughter and grandchildren mainly so I could meet the new man in her life, before I lost my partner I would have been happy we were all getting together but last night I was awkward and nervous doing it alone but worst of all was coming back to a dark and empty house. Suddenly I felt so alone and by the time I turned the light on I was sobbing it feels so awful coming in and my soul mate not here I only lost him in May and its still so raw and hurts so much
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I do get what you say I find it hard coming home to an empty house… my husband died in March and the silence in the house is deafening if I go out before its dark I leave lights on so I’m not coming home to a house in total darkness…
It’s not nice at all …take care
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Hi shaz69
Yes I would be up for the zoom calls too so please include me .
Lost my husband Martin 2 months ago and most days I am still totally shit
Look forward to hearing more about the zoom calls
Hi Shaz69, I messaged you my email address (I Think) but I have had no reply for the link to join in the Zoom
Sorry to be a pain, but as you can probably tell my IT knowledge is not the best, Take Care Mickere