Tragic loss… don’t know how to accept it.

Hello, I sadly lost my Grandad at the end of December. He had been in a nursing home for 8 years and his body wasn’t strong enough to carry on the fight. Whilst heartbroken I’d never see him, hold his hand, or kiss his head again, I felt reassured he was out of pain and misery and finally at peace. 2 weeks later, I came home to carnage. My grandma, his wife, who was fit as a fiddle and I had only seen a few days prior had died tragically at home. I’ve never felt a pain like that before, my world turned grey and I feel empty. I am close to my Grandma, very much so, and we were coping together with grandads loss with my mum also. We were the 3 musketeers, we have plans this year as a trio. I couldn’t understand what had happened, after a post-mortem, I still couldn’t understand, after their joint funeral… the one I had helped her plan for grandad that turned out to be hers also, I still don’t understand. I thought it would feel “real” after the funeral. But it doesn’t. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to process it. I usually go to my mum when I feel overwhelmed but she has just lost her parents so I feel cruel to emotionally dump on her. I just don’t know what to do? I feel like life has no purpose and this is all just a nightmare I am waiting to wake up from.

Hello @HannahLouise, thank you for bravely starting this thread. I hope you find the community to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your grandparents that brings you here.

It sounds like your grandma’s death was so sudden and shocking to you so shortly after losing your grandad. It is completely understandable that things don’t feel real to you right now when you have two losses to cope with, and one that you didn’t expect at all. You are still in the early days of grief, so please do be gentle with yourself.

We have many members who have lost grandparents who will understand some of what you are going through. You might want to read @Jenzy’s thread from a few days ago: I feel so lost

You mention that you don’t feel you can reach out to your mum right now as she is coping with the loss of her parents. I do hope that you are able to support each other in your grief, but I wanted to share some options for you to explore - maybe you can share these with your mum, too.

Please do keep reaching out - you are not alone.

Take care,

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Hi Hannah. I lost my Nan last month. She raised me so it was more like losing my mum. Feel free to message me, we can talk. You’re not alone x

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