Having lost my husband suddenly on 2nd Jan, I’ve had so many ups and downs. I’m trying to embrace all the emotions as they’re all part and parcel of the process. My eldest daughter was staying with me this week so we talked a lot - lots of tears! She’d booked us a spa afternoon for my birthday. We had a massage - loads more tears triggered by the human touch and the knowledge that I will never be touched by my darling husband again 
Then we went to a yoga class led by one of my other daughters. During the relaxation she talked about embracing new beginnings having come through the darkness of winter - I wept uncontrollably. Not sure what the rest of the class thought!
I’m absolutely exhausted! I walked the dog this morning. Yep, you guessed it, more tears.
I’ve lost my future with my husband, but I feel I am at least in control of creating a new future for myself. The thing that upsets me more is that I cannot alter my children’s futures - my husband won’t be there when they get married, graduate, have children. It’s just so incredibly sad for them. We were all together this weekend, but as wonderful as it is for all 8 of us to hang out, it brings his absence even more to the fore.
@Jules24
I agree with you it’s so sad for our children…
I’m not sure if yours talk to you about there dad… My daughter finds it very hard to deal with and dosent like to talk about it… and my son never mentioneds his dad unless I ask how he is feeling… I feel sad my husdband won’t be there also for there marriages or children… my son was moving house when he passed so he never got to see it or his new girlfriend … I miss chatting with him about family life… I have a doggie also but I’m finding him a burden more than I thought I would he has become aggressive and barks a lot since my partner died…
That’s so difficult that they’re finding it hard to talk about their dad. We are all trying our best to keep talking about him. He was a huge personality! I even brought his ashes in to the dining room when we were all together as I couldn’t bear the idea that he was ‘missing out’. I had to sit in his chair at the dining table because no one else could bear to sit there.
I too have a dog who was very much my husband’s dog. It broke my heart to watch him wandering around the house looking for my husband he went deaf about two weeks after simon died. I have to wonder if it’s the trauma?
I have two sons both very supportive. One hides his feelings doesn’t talk about his dad much to me but when I see him at work in his dad’s business that he now runs he talks about his dad a lot. My other son lives away and often messages me when the grief hits him and we share the tears. There is no right or wrong we just have to support each other. As I read the other day we all have a relationship with the person that died all different so our grief is different. I miss my mum but not daily as we did not live together she was not part of my routine as my husband was. The grief is constantly present with my husband but it’s bearable.
I lost .y husband 6 months ago today. I had a breakdown 2 days ago watching something on TV which sparked me off. My friend came yesterday to offer support. She lost her husband over 20 years ago (very young) but was able to tell me that she took would cry aot. She can’t remember when it stopped, but it does eventually. My dog on hearing me bubbling came into the room and hugged me, literally, with paws on shoulders and lots of licks/kisses. He really is my rock in these awful days when I feel totally lost and alone
Hi it’s sad that you are having problems with your dog but perhaps he’s protecting you and feels your sadness and fear as he doesn’t understand what’s happening and probably wonders where dad is I have a dog myself and she became quite needy when my husband died three months ago and needed reassurance constantly but is beginning to settle now . I feel for you because we don’t need any more worries at this time which is difficult enough.
Just when i think I’m coping , something triggers the tears.
I lost my darling wife on January the 6th, after being together 42 years. Im past the trauma of the funeral and the hell that was dealing with bank accounts and the associated paperwork.
I just had one more account to deal with and it was a credit union account in my hometown. All of the banks accounts, pension, cancellation of things etc, were all done online, but the credit union had to be done face to face with the death certificate.
I went yesterday. I parked in the town hall carpark across the road from the credit union office.
From this vantage point i could see our first flat we moved into on our wedding night. Suddenly i was overwhelmed with the feeling of thats where we started and now im ending the account my wife opened in 1984. The tears were rolling down my face as i remembered how happy Susan was when she showed me what she’d saved up for the wedding and all the holidays in subsequent years.
I know that shes gone now, but i felt i was letting her down by closing that account.
I know there’s a future for me and this was just another hurdle, but that sudden return of the extreme sadness was so hard to bear.
It’s hard I am the same something triggers a memory or a song makes me cry remember you are letting your wife down in anyway we all feel like this when the modern term for it is untangling which I hate separating our lives is so hard . We all are here if needing to talk
Yeh my son wont talk about his dad to me either … well 2 of them wont talk , full stop ! One of my daughters is due her baby tomorrow by c section and she is sad her dad wont be there to see him … it is sad that they miss out on so much but.what can we do ? We cant do anything can we 
x
Nope, sadly we can’t change the situation for us or for them. I’ve been very fortunate that all my children and their partners have embraced talking about simon, so whenever we get together we can have a laugh at all the memories alongside the inevitable tears. They even brought his ashes into the dining room the other day so he was part of our gathering 
Hopefully your children might have friends or partners they can talk to?
Yeh they have but they dont really wanna talk to me about it which is a shame xx
Yes that is a shame. Perhaps they’ll find it easier to talk eventually🤞
My future son in law trawled through 60 hours of home videos to make a memory video of my husband. He then wrote and performed a song to go with it. Not a dry eye at his Celebration of life 
Whenever i feel a need for a cry, i can watch it.
My son sent me the son about wanting to dance with his dad again for the last time makes me cry every time it comes on
Oh I know that one too. My husband played it often when thinking about his dad who died when he was only 18. It’s a beautiful but sad song
Very true 
Isnt it - to dance with my father again ? Xx lovely song …
Yeh i have a lovely video of when we took him for his last holiday in the east coast with all his kids and grandchildren … my daughter in law took it and its a lovely memory of him but hard to watch sometimes but gave me massive comfort n those.early days especially … just to hear his voice xx
I have a video of my husband singing not long before he died that I watch it makes me cry but I can’t help myself
Aw … yeh i have a video of him singing at a johnny cash tribute concert … he looked so well … it was literally 6 months before he passed and i cant believe that … i love playing it cos its on my phone 
it doesnt make me cry cos he was happy xx
Yes that’s the one beautiful song but makes me cry every time .