Nigel, we have a key safe which I have never used, but for some strange reason when we were on holiday in September my husband sent my daughter the code, she wondered why he did that. I didn’t know it. A few strange things like that has happened, He made sure all the garden fence was painted and made a new gate which I’ve been asking for him to do for years, he put new gutters up. He said to me after he finished the garden that I will not have to do anything for a few years. I remember kidding him on asking him where he was going. Then making sure my daughter can get into the house, just weird. Take care xxx
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Debsie,
Omg, I hope it’s not the last number on your lock, that would be my luck. I had no luck when I was trying to hack into hubby’s Turkish bank account, I’m shocked they didn’t kick me out. Tried birthdays, iPad code, alarm code, in fact I tried them all and then my daughter found it in a msg from the bank, imagine us getting a text with our PIN code. I was so pleased as it was holding up the Scottish side of things, we went and tried it at a cash machine and it worked, I got a print out and sent it to the lawyer. I hope you find it. I’m off to bed with my hot water bottle and hot choc. Take care xxx
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Lizzy, that is strange, some premonition? After Mary died, I found a huge to do list. It had over 60 items on it, with each room listed separately. It even included things like “dust” and “vacuum”! The only items ticked off were for her Franciscan Order. Literally nothing else. I couldn’t understand why it was so detailed, and then it hit me - the rest of that list was meant for me! There was also another short list, and the last entry said, “stop eating so much”. Mary ate a sparrows size portion, especially in hospital. I was the one that needed to lose weight, not her! Just so strange.
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My David was very worried about his heart surgery that he was constantly doing things ‘just in case’ so I wouldn’t have to worry about it. He was worried that I wouldn’t be able to use the lawn mower but I wouldn’t let him show me because he was going to be fine. However because he wasn’t allowed to do the lawn mowing after his surgery I had to do it and was happy to prove I could. He was convinced he wouldn’t have a long life, and was paranoid about any virus as it could kill him. I bet he is so smug now up there being proved right. I do miss him. Getting emotional now. Must be time for bed. I woke early this morning that must be why I’m getting sad.
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Awww @Debsie1 i too hate those calls i had to cancel my Linda’s and mine nat trust they were nice though helpful and also her english heritage too and mine as i cant think about going without her we loved going to lots of places esp down here but loved York and Whitby too that was our last hol before moving here linda was so relaxed in a tiny house we rented in robin hoods bay never seen her so chilled it was nice to see but i cant do it now just haven’t got the heart to visit places now without her another barrier i cant climb over hate this feeling we were both Thursdays Childs so born to travel as they say we were planning to go to the Southampton boat show but 2020 put an end to that plan as linda loved boats she lived on several through her life up to aged 11 when her dad passed at least we have made it through valentines day i guess but lots of tears flowing i bought her some roses she lived them and there are 5 plants in our garden but i nearly forgot it was the v day I’ve always got her roses I’m def not going to stop doing it now even though she isn’t here to display then herself ive had trouble with boiler pressure it turns out its usually the expansion tank and the pressure overflow valve it dumps excess water out of the overflow pipe outside the expansion tanks are prone to leaking and fill with water instead of half water half air and the prv valve once it has opened they often stick open so lose pressure then constantly thats whats up with mine it has to be replaced mines a Worcester its a common fault with them after 10 years or so Hope you sort it out 
Martin x
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Valentine’s Day. The day we celebrate love in remembrance of a Catholic Priest who performed a marriage ceremony for a couple of lovers who were forbidden to marry. He was beheaded for his act of love for love’s sake.
I lost a whole day this week. I think it was Tuesday when everything was swirling at one time. So, I thought it was Wednesday, but ut oh - it was Thursday. Missed calling my niece on her birthday and 3rd class of Dog College. Remember when I said I was doing well? Ha!
But, it explains why so many men were shopping alone yesterday and all had giant bouquets. I was thinking, “where are you hiding those until Friday?”
Lizzy, keep these sweet folks in mind when it gets down to the niggling bits before you move, maybe they will carry it all away for you. Ooo, ripping up photos are we? Okay then.
My husband planned for my future without him too. We knew his time here was limited for a little over 2 and 1/2 years, or may 3 - it is all a blur now.
Debsie, for a temporary fix, you can put wooden matchsticks (without the head of course) in the hole and then twist in the screws. Sorry about your migraine and the lock, that would make me cry right there.
Martin, I have quite a few of these to go through. One step at a time. It is impossible to do it all at once. Patience, breath deep and do one a day. I dread it too.
Made split pea soup with the usual onions, celery, garlic, carrot coins, a bay leaf, and some chopped up ham I already had. All surfaces are cleared. Most of the house is no longer a disaster zone.
Did not leave the house today except to get the mail. It’s cold again. The shoe wear choices at the door - flip flops, UGGs, rain boots, loafers. You never know what is coming.
The Beast so much prefers the dog food I bought at the Big Box store. He is eating chow without the need for boiled chicken or beef mixed in. From fancy brand to old standby, proven brand. Imagine that.
My electricity bill nearly doubled this last period. Did the same last year. But, the house is all electric. It feels like I am bleeding money at the moment.
Nigel, I am no fire starter, but Google University always has an answer.
Love y’all.
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Nigel
I’ll really miss my to do lists they would appear on the pin board. 
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That is so dear to me.
Much love
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Good morning everyone,
Today I looked at my Positive Potato that My Grandson gave me. I’m not doing negative today. Yesterday was a bad day, too many tears. Good riddance Valentines day. I might buy myself some flowers today, not red roses that will be selling half price, I want nice fresh colourful ones.
My bathroom will be gleaming by the time I’ve finished it today. It’s getting a full spring clean. Finished putting the new silicon round it with my trusty piping bag that I can control better than those guns.
I’m being positive so I will go up and check the boiler, I think you are right Martin, that’s what’s wrong with it. Heating is on, house is toasty this morning. Boiler is in a stupid place in the loft, will need to clear a proper space to make access better.
I will need to try my shower to check there is no leaks after me putting new silicon round it. I wish I’d taken the old stuff off before now, it’s looking great.
Nigel I hope you find that pesky leak, it’s so annoying.
I bought those Fire Up natural sustainable fire lighter cubes from good old Amazon, they have been really good, no smelly ones like the ones we used to buy. I put four in the fire, put a few bits of kindling on, then some smaller logs to start with. It took me a while to master that fire, it was my husbands pride and joy and I never went near it. I think you can be unlucky with logs, some that are too big they just die on you or haven’t been seasoned yet. I’m proud of my firelighting skills. There are 200 little cubes in these boxes, I have half a box left, will I need to order another one? Probably, as it will be cold even in summer if we could call our summer a summer. Will order some more today. When this house gets cold, it gets cold and takes a while to heat, a bit like your French home. I’m going for a much newer house next time. I remember my mum in olden times holding a newspaper in front of fire to get it going lol, half the time it went up in flames and went straight up the chimney. 
I have a little door that I have learned that if I open it it does the same thing as the old newspaper trick and it draws air in and gets the fire going, you probably know all that but it’s amazing the things you learn as you go along, I hope it’s a nice day in France and you can get the grass cut.
Debsie, how’s the lock doing? Hope you weren’t up half the night, when you find it you will wonder why you didn’t think of that number, hope today is a good one.
Ktg, I hope you are feeling ok, it’s great you have finished your treatment but I know it takes a while to get it to stop going round your body for quite a while so don’t be doing too much.
Georgi, my dream is we are going to get a decent summer, my son was born in 1984, I remember it well because we had the best summer ever that year, he was born at the end of March and the weather was cold to start with but nice and warm for the whole of our summer. Fingers crossed we get to meet up.
That’s now 19 weeks today since that horrific morning, it’s unreal how
something like this can change our lives, at least I’m not getting ready to leave the house now, I couldn’t stay in the house on a Saturday morning, I kept getting flashbacks of what happened, I guess time does heal but I hated it when people told you that, it didn’t help me at the time, but I now think it does a tiny bit.
Have a good positive day everyone.
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Good morning everyone. Wow! I woke at 8.00 am today. Nearly 9 hours sleep, although I did wake for a few minutes at 3.00 am. What happened. What did I do differently yesterday to deserve that? Perfume on the pillow? Ionising air purifier plugged in, in the bedroom? Just one glass of Pastis? Whatever it was I want more of that!
Yes, I too am glad SVDay is gone for a year. But that’s another first done and dusted. I (we) got through it, even after writing my love poem, and reading it to myself numerous times. So many people commented about it on my FaceBook page. People are so kind. Direct contact from two friends who are both widows and also from both daughters was nice too. Then a nice chat with my youngest son who went round to my house to reset the internet connection. There’d been a two second power cut a few days ago, and stupidly, the socket it’s plugged into is internet controlled. It’s supposed to come back in the “on” position after a power cut, but it didn’t and without it being on I couldn’t control anything at home. It also meant no lighting coming on for security, and no access to CCTV. So it was a worry for me, but all is sorted now! I’ll fix that socket when I get home.
It was 10 degrees in that house so after the reset I turned the heating on and now it’s up to 19 degrees. He and my eldest daughter are going to my house today to talk over his marriage and what he does going forward. Sadly I don’t think there’s much or even any hope of saving it. He’s simply fallen out of love but doesn’t want to leave the children with her. They can’t afford to sell and buy two properties, or even rent with our local rental prices. Rent for one place alone would be more than their current mortgage! So he and my daughter are going to see what options there are as he’s currently sleeping on the sofa at his house. Perhaps he can come to mine just to sleep, and go home early each morning to get ready for work? There’s certainly room and enough linen for that. Not the best from my perspective nor his I suspect, as I do like my own space and he might feel it’s admitting failure, but better for him than the sofa. It’ll also put my costs up when I’m here due to heating and lighting both houses at once. But we can sort that I guess. His health is more important.
For some reason the wood burner has always been temperamental if there’s no wind to draw it. I too remember the newspaper in front of the fire to do that - how dangerous was that? But we survived. Anyway I also survived the difficulty without Pyro-Mary (we always called her that when dealing with that fire)! The wood is well seasoned but the wood store isn’t completely dry, so I rely on the heat in the kitchen to get is better to burn, so not using the fire all day is probably not drying it completely. I’ll get the blow lamp on it if it plays up today! The bedroom is the only warm room overnight anyway.
So it’s back to the leak this morning! I hope you all have a good day. Much love to you all. Nigel xxx
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Good morning all. I had 7 hours of sleep, so it should be ok today. Also, I am 19 weeks in, and I think I am much calmer now. I think I have stopped fighting it. Acceptance? Not totally bit getting there.
Martin, I still go to the NT place close to me. It’s somewhere I feel okish driving too and has a lovely walk. Have been brave and had tea and scones on my own once. Yorkshire was our spiritual place. Spent so many holidays with the kids at Whitby. I’m taking David home to Rosedale this year. A very special place for us. I will be happy to think of him there.
Peaches, I couldn’t remember what day it was before all this happened. Thanks for the matchstick trick. I will give it a go. I will add it to my list. Don’t mention Electric to us brits. We have one of the highest costs in the world. I pay £160pm. It would be much more if I hadn’t gone for a 15month fix.
Lizzy, I wish I could do silicone. I notice a few gaps forming around my shower base. There are no signs of a leak, but it worries me. I remember the newspaper too. I have not had an open fire since 1974 at my parents. They replaced it with those old gas ones. It was great because you could have heat quickly, no central heating then, and came home to a cold house.
Nigel, sorry about your son. I think my son also has marital problems, but he is not telling me about it. They were supposed to move last year, and then she just said no, and that if he wanted to move, he would do it alone. They have now moved the boys into the same room so they can have a ‘spare room’. No one sees them that need to stay. In the meantime, he uses one of my bedrooms as an office. They say there are a lot of couples who are only living together because of cost. I want to give my sons some money but am aware that if they split, that will count in the settlement where he might need it for a home of his own. I may hold it back until needed.
Good luck with the leak. It’s so frustrating for you, and I bet you won’t accept defeat.
Son#2, wife and baby, are going to Peterborough shopping. I’ve been invited along. I don’t need to shop, don’t really want to either, but it’s a trip out, so I will go.
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I am still nursing this horrid cough. It is the common cold, but has knocked me sideways. My daughter is going to Sidmouth next week. I just don’t have the energy to go. Plus I don’t want to pass on my germs. Living in this big old stone house, is making me feel unwell. I never thought I would say this, but I will be looking at newer build properties. I don’t want to live in a 180 year old fridge. I hope everyone has a good day. Hugs
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Oh Mbg - Sidmouth takes me back to my childhood. We used to have holidays in a camping coach in the sidings at Tipton St John, just up the line from there.
It’s 18 degrees in the kitchen in my 225 year old fridge and the sun is streaming through my windows. The rest is around 12 degrees!
Have a good day. Nigel xxx
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Debsie, thank you - and it’s hard as he doesn’t say a lot to me either, but he is happy talking to my eldest daughter, which is so good. Maybe it’s easier as she’s Mary’s daughter and my son is mine from our previous marriages. They have a boy and a girl so it’s not easy with a three bedroom house. I’ve helped them out before and I provided the deposit for their house.
I’m certainly not accepting defeat on the leak!!!
I hope you enjoy your trip shopping, time with family is so special isn’t it?
Much love
Nigel xxx
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I like Sidmouth. They own a beautiful apartment on the seafront. It is in one of the oldest houses there. Hopefully I will visit in the warmer months.
I dream of 18° Nigel. To heat this house, at current gas prices, costs about £30-£40 a day and can be more. I hope you find that leak x
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Mbg,
I am so sorry you are suffering with a horrible cold, there are a lot of strange illnesses going around. If it get worse please see your doctor, take no chances.
I made my mind up very quickly to move, you will have more choice than me as my house is small and money will determine what I can afford. Just think, you could have a
Small cosy cottage anywhere you want. I’d seriously think about it. It’s snowing outside just now, I don’t think I’m going anywhere today, not yet anyway, my buses are rubbish at the weekend. But if I got an invitation I’d go anywhere.
I’m almost finished cleaning my bathroom and that will be another tick off my list.
Getting so fed up waiting for lawyers to give me the green light to sell and sort the Estate out.
Take care
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Debsie, get your coat on and go, I was hoping for an invite today to go out but it didn’t happen so it’s cleaning for me although my back is playing up after being on my knees cleaning a floor. Usually use the mop but I thought I’d get into bits the mop doesn’t reach. It looks good now.
You never stop worrying about your children, my son split with his partner when my Grandaughter was only 1, he wouldn’t talk about but I knew he was taking it badly. I used to fill his fridge for him as there was nothing in it, he was depressed but I couldn’t get him to open up, he is still like that now. He seems very happy now with a new partner of 10 years now who moved in when I moved out. I stayed with him when I was working because the travelling was too much for me. He has another daughter who is 1 year old now, his partner is lovely, I felt the first one wasn’t for him and I was right, he had to fight to see his daughter but he never gave up. We let him stay in the house we bought because they were both very young but kept it in our names in case the partner could claim on it. That was 18 years ago, I’m glad that my Grandaughter always had the same home since she was born. We did give him the house a few years ago as we had to pay capital gains tax on it. When I got married and we bought a house together we handed it over or we would have had to pay capital gains again. Told him he got his inheritance early and that my house when I go is my daughters. Told them I don’t want any fighting or I will haunt them. Before my divorce I had to do the same as your son, I had one room and he had the other, it was horrible living like that but we couldn’t afford to move out and keep paying for the big house that we had. It’s more common than people think. Enjoy your day xxx
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Lizzy, I realise how lucky I was with my divorce, as although I was devastated at the time it all worked out well. My ex wife left for a weekend in a hotel with her boyfriend, of whom, and of which I was totally unaware as she told me she was going to stay with her dad for a few days She never set foot in the house again. All she subsequently took were her clothes, jewellery and a heated food trolley! I had the house, the contents, the children and nominal maintenance in case my situation changed. It was so unusual for the father to have the children that the divorce judge put us in the wrong places in the court, assuming she would be having them. It was quite funny when she told him she wasn’t, and he said “oh you’d better switch places then”! She got married again but it didn’t last as her husband had an affair with their best friend’s 18 year old daughter and got her pregnant! A leopard never changes it’s spots! She did get married a third time, and they are still together but both Mary and I always wondered what she thought about not having had her children when they were growing up. Mind you she did thank both of us for their good upbringing! And she’s been to see me several times recently - so she’s not all bad.
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It’s weird how or lives pan out. My ex got married a few months after me, it was a lavish affair but told my daughter he would rather have had a small wedding like mine. but it didn’t last, he had cheated on me twice that I know of in my marriage, its taken him two years of fighting to finally get his divorce. He did apologise to me for what he put me through, I was upset but nothing like the pain of my husband’s death. We can be civil to each other, life is too short. He was the first person to come and see me at my daughters after it happened. He has just bought a luxury flat in the area I would have loved to stay but I can’t afford it. I don’t know why he needs a four bed penthouse unless he is moving someone else in. Who knows. I saw a one bed apartment in the same block lol, I could just afford it but it’s the maintenance I couldn’t afford, it’s mega. But I agree a leopard never changes its spots. Xxx
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Strangely my ex wife was one of the first to call on me too. She stayed for two hours and we even had a hug when she was in tears remembering the daughter we lost. So yes civility has been key after the initial anger. xxx
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