Ktg,
Yes get advice from a plumber, boilers scare me, think that’s why I sat and cried in the loft the other day, I was out my depth. I’m not at all sleepy, sitting listening to some programme on tv playing music. It’s quite soothing. Maybe need to go to bed and read. Night, take care and sleep well xxx:hugs:
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Hey @Lizzy28 thank you for the reply my lovely linda passed on the 8 october so not much difference to your hubby im in similar situation linda loved it here i did too we came here to live out or dreams together but now its dare I say tainted it here i have no real friends here we hadn’t had time really after moving here in 2017 as then covid hit my dad passed cancer 2021 Linda’s mum got ill and had fall breaking her arm so ir pretty much consigned to upstairs without help getting downstairs but as it just me difficult then this happened any friends i have are the north west uk thats my birthplace so feel more and more starting to resent it here like yourself i too waiting for life insurance to decide if going to settle but looking like there trying to get out of it typical so in limbo too so i do sympathise with you but i feel like if i did run back to my home town area id be disrespecting all the things we did to get here in the first place letting her down as it was the dream for us but Linda’s daughter lives bolton and wants us nearer so she can help look after her nan and it not as far to travel as its 6 hours to get here for her good grief doesn’t life just kick you when your down thank you @KtG and no your words have been a help just being there and saying what you have been through too is a massive help thank you life is bloody cruel and dealing with the fall out is like wading through treacle at best i miss my linda so much she was for 14 years my whole world we just were like one not i feel totally lost whole piece missing i don’t mind you having a rant at all thank you for telling me your experiences I’m sorry you are on this road too its not a nice club to be in as I’m sure your fully aware of that as everyone on here is sending love to everyone who has had to go through this terrible situation hugs 
Martin
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OMG! I saw Bruce Springsteen and the E street Band with Clarence Carter on sax in 1976. When he sang the words " I walked in to a" the lights went out and one spotlight focused on him jumping off the stage, then the lights came on, Clarence’s sax was lit by all spot lights blaring gold as everyone screamed “tenth avenue freezeout”. Like an explosion! I never needed to see another one of his concerts, nothing could top that one. Asphalt poetry.
I have read all the posts, and can’t catch up with the bits going on, but is seems everyone is quite busy tending to “stuff”, visiting family, getting a home ready for sale. Martin, I hope this all shows you that we have managed a lot and have gotten through it, albeit the worst times of our lives. We are making it, day by day.
You will too.
Today was spent with family. I got to see all the kids, big and small, it felt so good. So precious. My niece came to my house with her 2 angels and we stuffed her Jeep with kids and “stuff” she wanted. There is more, but no way to move it today.
The boy got a huge stuffed white Teddy bear and the girl a huge stuffed white rabbit. Snuggle stuff as big as they are. So dang cute. And, Easter baskets. I only kissed them on the head. Germs. One is missing the front teeth. Haha!
I am not doing another thing this weekend. Just rest in my almost cleared house. Maybe I will sort the broiler pans. They have multiplied it seems. I have so much storage in this house which we filled over the years with stuff I do not need or want anymore. It is a reality check.
Love to all.
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KtG sounds like you’ve been doing a lot! I’m finding it hard to get motivated but I did make a big pot of boeuf Bourgognone using the Instant Pot for the first time ever! It looks and tastes ok so I’ll freeze that down in portion sizes.
No need to apologise - have you tried E45 cream? Mary swore by that for many uses. But check with your physician first maybe!
As for your water, it’s difficult to say and might depend on the type of water heater and whether it’s from a hot water tank or straight from a boiler.
Nigel xxx
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Really gutted found out Hans Zimmer music from the movies were playing Caird Hall this year, Gwen love his other music as well especially Benidictus. We also loved the 60’s shows,never seen Snow Patrol going to make a point of going to see them never managed yet. Found out they were students at Dundee University when they formed the band. Coldplay another on my list.
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Well that was a wasted night! Awake and asleep, tossing and turning all night. No idea why but did have so many things going round in my head. I feel it’s going to be a really down day today as I’m already in tears but at least I’ve not got to cook as I’m lunching with my next door neighbours so won’t need a meal tonight. I’m nervous about that too - hope it goes ok. It’s 13 weeks today (3 months tomorrow) so that probably doesn’t help! We were all round her bed long before this time on that day.
Lunch is at 12.30 France time, so that’s 11.30 UK time - the exact time I was rushing back to the hospital after running that errand for her, knowing something bad had just happened, or was imminent. My daughter just told me to get back to the hospital but didn’t say anything more so I would drive safely. I probably drove worse thinking she was still alive but I think she’d already gone. I need to ask my daughter as not knowing that is hard for me, for no good reason! I recall a similar mad dash at 2.00 am way back in 1979, when my 1 day old daughter died!
I’m sure (well almost sure) it’s going to be ok today - just missing her so much this morning! I’ve a bottle of red wine and a few chocolates to take round and having lunch cooked will be nice.
Hopefully you all have a good day today.
Much love. Nigel xxx
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Morning Nigel
I was the same last night, tossed and turned all night.
At least you have your lunch today, it will get you out the house and have a chat with your neighbours. Do you speak French?
I thought I would be ok yesterday but because I didn’t go out and didn’t do too much, my mind kept replaying what happened that morning. Won’t do that again. I scrubbed the bathroom floor which made it worse as that’s where he died, think that’s what started it. My back was twinging so decided to have a rest.
I’m going to get up and go out a walk this morning, clear my head, start afresh this morning. I hope you have a lovely lunch, let us know how it goes.
Take care xxx
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Thank you Lizzy. I do speak a reasonable amount of French, but these are English, so I won’t have to worry about my French today - thank goodness! It’s hard dealing with a death at home isn’t it? Mary’s parents both died at our shared home, whereas my mum was in a nursing home after a stroke and my dad was in hospital after a fall. Mary couldn’t go into their bedroom for ages afterwards. We since changed it to a dressing room and exercise room. I must get back on that treadmill! Some of her dad’s things are still there from 2008.
I’m sure lunch will be good - I’ll let you know!
Nigel xxx
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Morning everyone. 6 hours sleep last night. Don’t think it’s enough as feeling down this morning, too. Yesterday was quite good. Day shopping and a lunch out. Granddaughter is such a happy little 10 month old. So cute. Then when I got back, my other son brought my 2 year old grandson over. I don’t know what to do with myself today. I like to walk but everywhere so muddy. There was lots of rain again yesterday. I ache from the gardening on Friday. I have ordered a mini chainsaw. I just don’t have the strength to cut the bigger bits. I have these large loppers, but it was hard work.
I went to bed thinking of the gigs we saw. I had two memories that made me laugh. I went to see David Bowie about 1985/6 with my sister. We couldn’t find our carpark afterwards, and we ended up having to climb over a fence. My sister had a mini skirt on. Quite illuminating. But it’s not as bad as a couple at a Bon Jovi gig. She got on his shoulders with a mini skirt on and a thong. A sight that will haunt me as long as I live as we were behind them.
Lizzy, it sounds like you will have a better day today with your family. The carpet will make the room.
Peaches, I wish I could find people to take my unwanted stuff away. I think in the summer, I will turn some of the garage stuff onto the drive and invite people to come and help themselves. People did that a lot in lockdown. It sounds like you spoil your family, and why not.
I want to wash the car and try and fix the gate, but it’s so cold out there. I don’t want to venture out, but staying in depresses me. I don’t like Sundays. Well time to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something to get through this day.
Nigel enjoy your lunch. Ktg I hope you find the answer to your boiler. I still don’t know how to remove my loo seat.
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This winter needs to go. I have had a cold for about 10 days. This morning I decided I needed some fresh air. I went for a walk, minus the 4 dogs. I didn’t stop coughing. I will not be doing very much today. It is 7 months since I lost R. I don’t know why the time matters. I missed him yesterday and will miss him as much tomorrow. I hope everyone has the best day possible x
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@KtG my linda loved fishermans friends the CDs still unopened here we went port isaac to visit she loved doc martin and when we on holiday visited there as well as boscastle tintagel and padstow for the day before heading back to plymouth to the apartment we used to rent but when we moved down here that was one of her wishes to see them singing on the dock in there home village of port isaac but sadly never got chance she lived just about every kind of music inc sea shanty’s we were in torquey once there was a cruise ship in they were ferrying people off the ship to the dock and had a group singing shanty’s took me ages to get her to start walking on to get some lunch she have stayed there all day if she could she loved live bands just couldn’t handle the crowded places when the mega ride bike meet was on plymouth hoe they always had bands on that was her heaven listening to them with a drink in her hand and music she was happy god i love her and miss her hugs everyone
Martin
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KtG when my husband knew he was dying we sat one evening with my niece
as she visited every week after his diagnosis and he told us what he wanted for his funeral and also what he wanted of his watches etc were to go to each grandchild but in the end he gave each grandchild theres before he died . But that evening it took all my strength to stop myself from crying it was so hard xxx
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Just waiting for my son & family to arrive, its the wee one’s 1st birthday today xxx
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Enjoy your day. I am going to visit my grandson in 2 weeks. I can’t wait, he is my favourite human. He will be 2 in July. He is going to South Africa for most of April. I will miss him so much x
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Wow - 5 hours with my neighbours! Lovely lunch and loads or red wine! Such a lovely time! A bit tipsy now but who cares!
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I had a lovely lunch Debsie - was there 5 hours! they were so good and didn’t mention Mary until l did! So lovely!
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Gee whiz - I wish it was warmer in my house tonight! It’s totally freezing!
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Good Morning! Or is it afternoon? Bed at 4a, slept until noon.
Good grief, we are expecting another cold snap and another overnight freeze.
Will pack at least 5 things into the SUV for the thrift store.
Little spring wild flowers are popping up in the lawn! I enjoy them. Pink, lavender, blue, white and yellow. God is the best gardener.
Debsie, you are going to love your mini chainsaw. I have one and it is great! Don’t forget to have chain oil too. Must clean the blade with oil after each use.
If you put it on the curb in front of your house, someone will take it.
I threw away the nautical charts. It took me a minute to really understand that my husband doesn’t need them anymore. It’s hard to get it through my head that he is never coming back.
The heirs have received their money, so another item is checked off the list. A friend came by and took all the satchels/duffle bags, etc., and a briefcase. Good.
There is no day that is worse than the other for me, they are all the same.
After nearly 22 weeks, the most obvious things that remind me constantly that my husband is gone are so stupid. Things like: kitchen is still clean when I get up in the morning; toilets seats are down; clothes aren’t draped on the bedroom chair; the elevator is quiet; the fridge is empty looking; the glass shower doors are clean; only 4 of 8 laundry baskets are needed; I am able to use the tv remote (haha); the driver’s car seats stay where I need them; and, I no longer lug 7 gallons of milk upstairs each Tuesday.
My husband loved milk! One glass a day for me and the rest for him. His grandfather owned, among other things, a small dairy farm, a herd of cattle and an abattoir, so he was raised on lots of fresh cream, milk, butter and beef. He would panic on Monday evening “we’re almost out of MILK!” . It’s okay, Honey, you can have the rest, I’ll get more tomorrow. Milk for him was like Diet Coke for me - we must have it!
Making a short list of things for the day. Little things. Just 5.
I hope you all wake to a fresh and glorious day.
LOVE
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Gosh you sound so positive Peaches - I wish I was tonight. Despite a lovely 5 hour lunch with my lovely neighbours, nothing seems to be good tonight! I hope tomorrow is better.
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Glad you had a nice day Nigel. Hopefully you still feel good once you sober up. I have had a productive day had a good walk, gardening, hopefully mended the gate, time will tell. However I still feel very flat today. I don’t want to play this game anymore.
Peaches mini chainsaw has turned up. I will give it a go later this week when the weather warms up. I will get some oil. I know what you mean about the absence you feel. It’s no compensation though is it.
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