Good morning greiving. Peaches is invariably right with her advice even if I always forget to write a list! I’ve hit the 5 months milestone today - and still have difficult days. 5 weeks for me was Christmas Eve and it was only my family that got me through Christmas.
Take peaches advice - and it’s also all about baby steps, it’ll be 5 forwards and 3 or 4 backwards at times, that happens to everyone, but even baby steps will get to where we are going, in time.
Take care. Nigel xxxx
Good morning all. It’s 5 degrees outside today and maximum will be 14! That means the house will be cold and the grass will stay wet! I hope you all slept well? I only woke once in the night and had nearly 8 hours sleep, so I’m happy with that.
Let’s hope I don’t have a wasted day today after yesterday’s fiasco. I’ve stuff in the fridge for today and tomorrow so no actual cooking - just heating. At least the freezer is defrosted! 
Have a good day if you can - time to get up and get cracking. I’ve been lethargic for several days and have struggled to get started but I think I may be less like that today! 
Much love. Nigel xxxx
Morning all, i have had a very busy but tough week. It was Darrens birthday last thursday, his sisters 50th on friday, scattered ashes on Saturday and birthday celebrations at MIL on Sunday. I have struggled this week but going to try and be positive about this weekend.
Nigel i like the positive in that the freezer is defrosted. We used ice cubes trays to make flavoured oils as Darren liked to grow basil, i have a freezer full and still not used them.
Peaches love the story of the tiny car. My husband didn’t drive but would be my navigator, i hate motorway roundabouts and he would have to remind me everytime which lane i needed
KtG i hope you have someone who can support you through the inquest.
Must go to work now and catch up later
Good morning everyone,
Well I’m back, lovely welcome of cold wet rain as we landed at Edinburgh, I’m definitely home 
.
Our flight was delayed, didn’t actually get to daughter’s house till 6.30am. Yes and you will be wondering why on earth i’m wakened at blooming 8.30, I left my alarm
on in case I slept in as I was meeting with my lawyer last week. . I had to jump out of bed and try and find it, t was at the bottom of my bag.
What a welcome from the dog, she didn’t know who to go to, she was going round in circles going slightly potty.
Peaches, thanks for sharing one of your memories, I’ve had an abundance of lovely memories last week, I’m dreading going back into my house again, plunged into silence after a week of constant chat, it’s going to hit me with a bang.
I went to go in my lawyers car last week, the left drivers side, he asked me if I want to drive his car, 
er no, I can’t even manage to drive my own car never mind the way the crazy drivers drive there. Red traffic lights, wow, they, just go through them, don’t stop at zebra crossing and love tooting the horn all the time. On saying that the lawyer was a careful driver.
Ktg, This is the one thing you have been dreading but also need closure on it, you can do this, once it’s over, you can tick a massive box. I’ve done Turkey (almost) you can do this. Will you still be off work then? I hope you are, I just hope it doesn’t get cancelled.
We will all be there with you, you know that. You are a strong person with what you have been through, this is one more thing that has to be done. Think how you will feel when it’s over. 
Grieving,
Welcome to our little online family, I’m so sorry at your loss, it’s one of the worst pain that we have to go through, it’s still very raw for you but talk to us as many times as you want and need to, someone is always here, ask us anything, we will listen no matter what. We all understand what you are going through. The days are long, you wonder how you get through them, but you will, we are here for you, keep chatting to us.
Chezza,
I found my husbands birthday the hardest “first” yet, I had the wedding anniversary, my birthday, but when it was his birthday I had a really tough day. No idea why, but every first gets to you. I hope it gets easier. Hope you have an easy day at work xxx
I had a rather embarrassing moment on the plane, eeks I was trying to sleep and for a minute I must have dosed off, I was in the middle of the row, my daughter was at the window in front of grandson who was at the window beside me so there was a man at the aisle beside me. I never usually sit in the middle so I must have dropped off, put my head over to the man to cuddle into him 
omg how embarrassing,I actually thought it was my husband, I always cuddled into him on a plane, he didn’t mind. I jumped and apologised, honestly why did I do that, needless to say I stayed awake for rest of flight.
Two hours sleep now, I’m not going back to sleep, poor SIL has to pick his daughter up at 10 am, take his parents to airport as they are going on holiday. He will be shattered.
With the way my daughter and grandson sleep it will be afternoon before they waken up.
I saw someone from our Turkish complex at the airport on same flight as me. I saw her looking at me a few times but I turned into the invisible person again but it suited me as I didn’t want to discuss my apartment with her. Well it’s not mine anymore.
Debsie, well done driving again on Friday, I hope it gets easier this time although I don’t think it will, we just don’t like driving, I was watching my SIL screen that he has, wow it’s about 18” x 12” it shows his car driving on the road, beeps if he strays from his lane, shows the road ahead, has a large map and tells you everything, I want one like that but I don’t think I could afford or want a Tesla. I would probably never be able to work it, last time my daughter accompanied me to the dump, she asked why I have the heating turned up high, I had to admit I didn’t know how to turn it down my husband used to do all that for me. I need to study where everything is again, I wish it was just press buttons, I can’t work the screen I’ve got never mind this super duper one the Tesla has.
Hope you all have a nice day xxxx
Peaches i’m glad i’m not the only one who has no confidence when it comes to driving. Your story of you and your husband made me laugh especially the bit about him in the car my husband was 6’4 so i can well imagine what that was like it sounds as if like me you struggle with eating, i have ever since Chris died have no appetite and have lost loads of weight none of my cloths fit now.
Lizzy glad you made it back safely it’s a lovely sunny day here. You have a difficult journey ahead i wish you the best with selling your house.
Nigel hope you have a good day with no disasters.
Ktg i will be thinking of you and hope you are able to get some closure x
Grieving. Sorry your having a tough time we all know what your going through it’s such a hard journey i hope you have friends and relatives who can support you my advice would be to accept any invitations you get and to try to plan each day with little jobs as Peaches wisely said five things each day. Keeping busy is the only thing that keeps me sane. It’s six months since i lost my husband and although it doesn’t get easier it becomes more bearable be kind to yourself and talk to everyone on here it has really helped me xx
Thank you its just an awful day for me
Nigel, good morning,
That’s a cold temperature, get the fire on, no doubt my house will be freezing when I get home, I’ve been keeping the fire off since I cleaned it but I could be tempted to put it on to heat the place up. The temp was getting better as the week went on, it was 22 degrees yesterday which was hot enough for me,
My Ring doorbell was showing it was offline in my garden, no idea why, something has gone wrong with it, I’m hoping SIL come over to sort it out. I bought new lights ages ago as he checked the ones I have up and said the wiring looked weird as they stayed on all the time, so I bought new ones, hopefully he will put the new one up as it may have tripped it, that could be the problem. I don’t do anything electrical.
I hope you have tidied the kitchen up, again you are so like my husband, he was great at doing casseroles but what a mess he made, I can’t be doing with mess, I struggled to cope with the mess my roommates left every day , I discreetly kept picking things up as they don’t unpack just lived out the suitcase.
I found a bin bag in the case and filled it with clothes I probably wouldn’t wear plus I didn’t have room in the case, and put tons of bottles, rubbish in it. I did leave a nice tip for the lovely ladies who tried to clean our room every day, I wonder what they thought when they came into ours every day. 
.
How much longer do you have left Nigel? , again you have done a lot, be proud of yourself, I hope the next time you go out and have the family with you, you can relax a bit, the weather will be warmer as well, stock up on the wine and enjoy. Xxxx
Barbara,
I hate driving as well, I had to drive as my husband lost his license due to medical reasons, we took the train and bus as much as we could as he knew I didn’t like driving but he was a human satnav, told me where to go as I have zero sense of direction.
I think it’s common about the eating, I’ve lost weight as well, trying to eat better as I did eat in the hotel but just can’t be bothered making food. Ready meal for one then I don’t eat it.
I hear movement in the house, I’m going to jump into the shower and get ready. Try and have a nice day, chat later x take care xxxx🤗
Good morning everyone. Another day another migraine. 
Sun is shining. I have no plans. Trying to decide what to do. I thought I might get that new wiper blade I need but there is an accident near there this morning so I will avoid that. I then thought I might pop to the supermarket but there is only 2 things on my list. Maybe I should look at the various gardening gadgets to see how they work. There is a strimmer, hedge trimmer, and pressure washer that I have to suss out. Need to list a towbar rack to sell but I will leave that till I get back as I don’t want anyone enquiring whilst I am away.
Nigel I hope you get on well with all your tasks now there is nothing to distract you.
Peaches it sounds to me that you have so many memories to write down. When the worse of the pain subsides they will give you great comfort. For now just be grateful you have them. An inquest is where they decide the reasons why someone died. Its usually only for a sudden death or where they feel that something or someone contributed to it. They will go over everything that happened leading to their death and evidence and testomonies. It going to be hard to listen to if its someone you love.
Lizzy welcome back. 2 hours sleep is putting you in the danger zone of having a crash later. The getting in the wrong side of the car is something I do regularly. I have no concept of left and right and sometimes I open the passenger door and I am so worried someone is watching that I have to pretend I am doing something and that I meant to open it. Lizzy - you may have made that mans day. 
There is quite a lot that cars can do now. I am waiting for the self drive ones. 
Although now I have the front sensors working on mine I am so much happier. The bonnet is very long and out of sight.
I am trying not to think about the driving tomorrow. What cannot be cured must be endured. I just need to put on my big girl pants and get on with it. There is no knight in shining armour anymore to take care of me. I only have myself to rely on - which means I am well and truly F*****d. I am really looking forward to seeing my son. He is a lovely lad, it will be worth the anx.
Debsie try not to think about driving tomorrow ( easier said than done i know ) but if i have to dive somewhere i’ve never driven before i start stressing about all the things that could happen or go wrong . So now i just block it from my mind till i’m behind the wheel you will be fine and once you’ve done it you will be pleased with yourself and the next time you drive to your son’s it will be a piece of cake
Greiving I am so sorry for your loss and 5 weeks is no time at all, it is very hard & you have to take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself xxx
I think you will find some comfort on this forum as we all have done, they are a lovely bunch and very good at supporting one another, I am coming up to the 2 yr mark on May 1st. I have been on the Sue Ryder site since Sep 23, I was on one of their other forums before this one.
We all know what you are going through and will support you along the way xxx
Looks delicious Dave xxx
Oh no Ktg thats so hard for you to deal with, so sorry for my late response but my granddaughter has taken to facetime me to play Uno on our ipads in an evening, been busy this morning & this is my first time on here today xxx
We have all been there Debsie and in my case sometimes several times a day I do silly things!
You are not alone
I agree with you Lizzy, electrics is a no go area other than changing a plug, thats my limit !
Glad your back x
Im the untidy one when cooking, my husband never had clutter when he was cooking and stayed out of the kitchen if I was cooking cause the mess drove him nuts, no guessing where my daughter gets her OCD from, funny though she looks like me but has her dads temperament, my son looks like his dad but has my temperament and no OCD 
My morning has flown in, I do the housework before breakfast, and when I sat down to breakfast I started reading through all the posts I missed on here, geez a lot of reading, finished my breakfast long ago and still sat here, its now 1155 and soon be time for lunch and I am not even dressed yet !!! But I enjoyed reading all your posts think I’m caught up now, time to get on with day, not that I have plans anyway, may go for a walk
Take care everyone and hope you all have a good afternoon
Debsie i’ve at last found the battery to the hedge and tree cutter i am going to charge it up but don’t know if i will be brave enough to use it probably lope my leg off , my children will go nuts if they think I’m even considering it but how hard can it be ? My son pressure washed my patios at weekend that was easy to use need a pair of wellies though x
I have had a good day went to the shop. Don’t feel so bad.miss my maria
.hope we all have a good day xxx
It’s good to have you back safe and sound Lizzy, and that despite everything you have had an enjoyable time and made new memories with your family.
My car has a lot of things I haven’t had on previous cars, and it does take a bit of getting used to. I’ve had it just on 6 months now and I’m still learning what things do, every day. Mary never did drive it - and she’d have probably never used half the bells and whistles. She never used speed control or cruise control on her Kia, but she did love driving, I guess both of us having had bus licences in the past takes away a whole lot of the worry about driving. Being responsible for 50 plus people is quite daunting!
You were probably more embarrassed than the man on the plane. I hope you survive the day on that short amount of asleep.
Have a good day. xxxx
I meant to say I’m leaving the heating off as I’m very low on wood, and it looks like I might be back in June - when I may still need to heat the house when I first arrive!
I’m actually the tidy cooker. Normally I am clearing up as I go along, everything washed up or put into the dishwasher as I go. Mary would say she was the messy one - definitely! But yes - all tidied up and put away!