So glad you enjoyed your time with family and thats amazing what your ex is doing too xx
I am so happy for you that will make things so much easier for you when you go in April.
So happy for you Lizzy xxx
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Hard not to sing along with that song Peaches, so sorry you had a bad weekend but I just know you will pick yourself up and get on now the weekend is over. Shame your dog class was cancelled, hopefully it will be rescheduled soon but more importantly hope the snow clears and you will get back to normality such as it is !
Take care Peaches xxx
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Debsie I feel the same as you, socialising is hard for me too, my husband could also chat with anyone, it came easy to him, but not me as Ive said before even if I’m in too big a group of friends I find it awkward joining in, I kind of feel invisible ! But I think you are so determined you will find that group or place to volunteer and you will love it when you do, don’t worry about letting anyone down I am sure they have people who volunteer all the time and find its not for them xx
I’m loving your positivity this Sunday morning xxx
As for me I’m just glad my migraine has gone and today I intend doing some cleaning after having my baby for a sleepover, I concentrate on him and do very little in the house then spent Saturday afternoon in bed with the migraine xxx
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Debsie. 1 - my breakfast is getting made for me this morning.
2 - I’m surrounded by my family
3 - I’m getting help putting wallpaper up on my
Kitchen wall I stripped last week.
I hate Saturdays more than Sundays but I hate any day I don’t get out. Too much time just thinking about things I still have to do. We just need to force ourselves to get out and do things. I am waiting till I am able to move as my friends all volunteer and go to loads of things. I’m hoping they will take my hand and lead me on my lonesome journey.
Take care xxx
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I’m careful about how much I drink Peaches, and bought 12 bottles of alcohol free stuff just yesterday. Nosecco and Buck’s Fizz. I already have Guinness Zero in the fridge but I can’t find a good alcohol free scotch. Half that glass is still on my bedside table - I did sleep well to 9:30!
Mary would go out with her choir friends for dinner and with others for lunch. Together we also met with a few good friends. By next weekend I’ll have been to dinner with all of them since the funeral. I’ve also had an invitation to a local bar from my daughter-in-law’s father so will be doing that - just a group of blokes, one of whom is a widower. Is there any way you could still join your friends for dinner? I know it’s hard on one’s own but after the first few minutes I’ve found it surprisingly easy. And enjoyed all of them.
I’ve said before that 2025 is worse for me than 24 - a whole year without Mary instead of just 44 days. It doesn’t seem possible, and we’re only 26 days into 365!
I understand the repetitiveness of life at the moment - it’s certainly like that for me. I’m hoping France will lift me up a bit but I’m by no means sure of that.
Still- must get up, medication and eye drops due. What use are they when tears seem to always wash them away! Sorry, I’m just thinking of how to say thank you to Liz Earl re the perfume and it’s got me in tears.
Much love Nigel xxx
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Hi Peaches this is so unlike you, but completely understandable. I don’t often comment but follow this thread every day and feel like I know you all.
I am ahead of you all at 40 weeks after losing my beloved partner suddenly and unexpectedly. I can see how you are all finding a way and able to find a little joy in some things, which is fantastic progress from the devastating early days. ( and I enjoy reading your stories as they are so relatable).
I too had a bad day yesterday out of nowhere and can’t say I feel any better today - but I know now it will pass. I guess this is the norm for us now. Three steps forward one back.
Sunday Bloody Sunday again! Wishing you all the best day possible xx
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Three things Debsie? My family, my friends and my health! Despite being on medication my health is quite good -that’s so important especially after a TIA in May 2023. Can’t believe I’ve put “my” three times in a row there!
I’ve looked at volunteering too - just not yet. I’m already a Community Champion, since COVID days, and a community litter picker as well. The Community Champion supervisor has asked if I could get more involved - for some reason they seem to think I’m one of their best! 
So I’m going to meet the guy for a coffee shortly but I’m not committing to anything whilst I’m so busy with the wretched paperwork! He doesn’t expect me to do anything yet but just wants to meet.
Simply the best by Tina Turner blasting out on Mary’s Alexa. Didn’t realise how the words are so meaningful right now, in the main. Saw her live once - what a performer!
Much love to all you wonderful folk. Nigel xxx
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Thanks for the encouragement Jody. Nice to hear from you and that you enjoy all our chats.
Nigel xxx
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Jody, Thanks for posting, it was interesting that you noticed we have come on from the early days. That’s encouraging in itself. Please join us regularly, let us know any tips for getting through this horrible time in our lives. After having a good day yesterday I’m preparing for the fall that always happens next.
Take care 
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OMG Lizzy that sounds like bliss! Wish I’d asked earlier about the best way to eat it - next year I’ll try it a different way. Luckily Mary had already caught and frozen it so spared me the trouble.
She’d have understood the Gaelic too as she’d often say Slainte - due to her Irish roots.
Thanks for the tips. Nigel xxx
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Nigel, I am very impressed that Mary caught one of our little creatures with two different lengths of legs for getting around the hills, she must have been fast to catch one .I’m sure you will enjoy the haggis next year by doing this. Xxxx
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Peaches repetitive is the perfect word for it, it’s like groundhog day, and sorry to say it but this will soon be the 2nd yr for me on May 1st!
But thats me,you guys you may fair better because you are more optimistic, I am very much the opposite, though I am trying not to be that person, its hard xxx
I got the living room and kitchen (open plan) floors all hoovered and mopped and as soon I was finished my cat was sick on living room laminate, she makes a lot of noise before so I can direct her onto the laminate, she much prefers being sick on the rugs. I was making my breakfast so that was real nice of her, didn’t put me off still ate my breakfast after cleaning it up, not much puts me off my food after the job I did
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Finally listened to your songs, fair to say the tears have flowed, emotional wreck now but they were beautiful xxx
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Lizzy no snow here thankfully but it is cold xx
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My main problem is getting out of bed in the morning.as I,m alone I could stay there for ever no one would know. I try and get up before 12pm but why bother. I know people try and help but I’m totally devastated although John died suddenly in October. I’m not interested in anything even eating I’m stuck in the house as I need to use a Taxi to go out as there’s a problem with the buses. My son works so cannot help and the other son lives miles away. I cannot accept this is my life now. Sorry to be so negative but it’s all I see. X
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A bad night, cough, sore throat, pouring rain and high winds have all conspired against me today. It’s not sensible to go to the grave and stand in all this for half an hour, so I’ve decided to stay indoors today. I’ve only missed 2 days in the almost 7 weeks since the funeral, and they weren’t of my choosing, but to help my family. Not even going to the shops. I’ve enough food until I go to France anyway. Ten weeks on today, the 10 darkest weeks of the year, and of my life. I feel so guilty and bad for not going to the grave.
So much needs doing in the house, just to tidy it the way she always kept it. She’d have a fit if she could see it at the moment. At least the lounge is as tidy as ever. I’ve no inclination to do a thing today, except take my medication, keep hydrated and have some food. I can’t tell the kids I’m feeling like I’m back at day 1. They work so hard and need their weekends with their families. They’ll be annoyed that I haven’t told them of course! I’ve a Zoom meeting with my brother and sister tomorrow after I’ve taken my autistic granddaughter to school. Good thing that wasn’t today! I feel so angry again, but don’t know who with, surely not with Mary! God is this just now “normal”?
Sorry, you all have things going on too. I’ll be ok, just needed to vent and cry!
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Yewtree, I am the same - quite often. I didn’t get up till 12.30 today. No motivation for anything. I’m 10 weeks on and a friend recently posted a message on Facebook that said we’d just got through the 10 darkest weeks of the year. Too poignant for me today!
I feel for you with your children not being available easily. I’m lucky to have one next door, and three more within 3 miles.
October is still only a short time ago, and many of us will be in similar situations. As our wise Peaches will say, eat, keep hydrated, bay the bills, deal with important matters and make a list of 5 things to do each day. Tick them off as you do them. The rest can wait.
Wishing you all the best. Much love. Nigel xxx
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Nigel Marnee
Just go with it. Tomorrow is another day ( hopefully better than today). I’m still not dressed yet and annoyed with myself for wasting a day. Don’t know why we are always so hard on ourselves. xx
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So what just happened? My youngest daughter just phoned to see if I was all right. That’s three times they’ve done that on bad days. How come? Either lots of bad days, or they just keep an eye on me. I said I was ok, and she said “really?” OK, I’m not, I said and she was on my doorstep minutes later. She knows it’s hard for me, being here and around things Mary and I did together, 24/7. She’s blocking it out it seems. I hope she doesn’t come crashing down when I’m away. Much love to you all, with thanks. Nigel xxx
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Thanks Jody, I have to get up early on a Monday and Tuesday to take one of my grandchildren to school, and I’ve a zoom with my brother and sister too, so I’m forced to get up and dressed for the next two days, and then I’ve an 8.30 am hearing aid appointment on Wednesday and a lunch booked Thursday so that’s another two early rises then too.
Much love. Nigel xxx
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